Over the weekend, the more I thought about Cen Yam's judgement, the more upset I got. At one point, while I was driving to pick Mark up from work on Saturday afternoon, I started crying. Earlier in the day, I had cleaned out our old Toyota Tercel (it has to go to car heaven - it won't pass an emissions test this year and it is 13 years old so...) and found an old mixed tape that I had made in '99. I threw it into the player in the Buick and, when I got in to go get Mark, turned it on. It was a good tape of mostly girl singers. I was driving north on Montreal Street, singing along with Kirsty to Soho Square when I just burst into tears...it was at that line "in case I die before my birthday..." I almost pulled the car over because I was unsure that I could navigate through the busy traffic. Fortunately, through my tears, I saw the left turn I had to make and was off the busy road and on a quiet side street. I felt absolutely gutted. I remember feeling that exact same way the day that I learned of her death.

Would you not think that an actual human life was more valueable than $165 Canadian? The Mexican authorities apparently believe that this is about the going rate. At least this is what they have decided that this what Kirsty MacColl's life was worth. I saw this on the Justice for Kirsty site today and it completely sickened me:

The court found boathand Cen Yam guilty of negligent homicide. Upon payment of the fine of $1,029 pesos (approx. £71), Cen Yam will pay his way out of jail. However, his failure to pay (or deposit with the Court) the criminal award for the benefit of the MacColl family will not operate to restrain his liberty. Local counsel anticipates that Cen Yam will be depositing the full award and paying the fine to commute the sentence. The time for appeal expires on March 31st. The court clerk believes that Cen Yam will not appeal.

Kirsty's life has been valued at £71. The campaign continues.

The Friday Five:

1. What was your most memorable moment from the last week?

Standing at my kitchen sink on Saturday morning, doing dishes, and looking out the window to see an Ambulance in the driveway across the street. Our neighbour had just had a stroke and was in the process of being rushed to the hospital.

2. What one person touched your life this week?

My neighbour's daughter. I don't really know her but my boss is really good friends with her so I felt like I knew her already. When we were coming out of the hospital from visiting Mark's dad on Saturday afternoon, we ran into Cheryl and her husband. I recognized her from some photos I'd seen so I spoke to them, asked about her dad, introduced ourselves, explained who we were, etc. I could see in her eyes how lost and upset she was. It touched me so much that I cried almost all the way home. I could totally relate to the fear that she was feeling. We'd gone through it on Tuesday while we sat, and waited, and waited, in emerg to hear about Mark's dad.

3. How have you helped someone this week?

I wouldn't have thought so at the time but I was told by my boss that Cheryl appreciated how we reached out to her on Saturday. I guess to just see a friendly face and hear a kind word in a time of trauma was some kind of comfort for her at the time. I felt like a bit of a knob. I know that I was awkward and felt weird (like a gossipy neighbour or something) at the time but Mark assured me that it was the right thing to do and I guess, in retrospect, it was.

4. What one thing do you need to get done by this time next week?

I have a huge project on my desk right now that needs to get a big dent knocked into it by this time next week. Things have been a bit mad around here since the move but I'm settling back into my routine at work again.

5. What one thing will you do over the next seven days to make your world a better place?

I will clean my house and do some laundry. This will help to create some calm in our lives if things are cleaner and tidier and generally less stinky than they are right now.

So last week, better late than never suppose, I finally got around to buying a copy of Remy Shand's CD. I must say that this past week, while I've been so stressed out, listening to it has helped me. It's mellowed me out a bit and for that, I am thankful.

By the way, if anyone really cares, I am having quite a Strawberry day. I had strawberries with my Special K this morning and I'm having a strawberry yogurt right now. The springy weather has me jonesing for strawberry season.

I'm sure how many people actually, intentionally visit this page on a regular basis, I'm sure that the vast majority of folks just stumble upon it via a webring or odd Google search. To those who do make their way here regularly, I would like to apologize for the lack of posts over the past couple of days. I think that my life just caught up with me and the thought of sitting down and writing in this blog was the furthest thing from my mind.

Joe is still in the hospital but they have moved him into the step-down unit yesterday so he was able to get a television set last night. I am sure he was having major withdrawal symptoms from not having watched the weather channel in almost a week! Our neighbour is now in the unit that Joe was in. He had a major stroke but is doing well, all things considered.

Work's been really busy. We've been moving offices for a few days now. Today I'm pretty settled into my new space. There are still a number of things that haven't been unpacked but we're awaiting the installation of our storage units, hopefully that will happen soon-ish.

Other than that, not much is new. The weather is lovely, the birds are living it up in our back yard and Joe's feeling better. It's all good really.

It's really dull and grey outside here today. Almost all of the snow is gone from the front of our house but the backyard is practically full. I've noticed a huge number of birds in our yard the past couple of days. This morning I saw 2 or 3 cardinals. The female was really big and she was sitting in our tree while 2 males were eating at the feeder. We have a tonne of finches too and they sing beautifully.

We went to visit Joe last night and I can tell that he's totally bored and anxious to get home. He's doing much better than he was a few days ago and they have taken out all of his IV stuff and have him on oral medication. He should be home early next week if things keep going as well as they have been.

I just saw an ambulance leave our neighbours' house across the street. I'm really worried about the man who lives there (he was the one put into the ambulance). His daughter is an acquaintance of mine and her sister is a very good friend of a friend of mine so I know that the man has had a kidney transplant recently. I hope that everything will be okay with him, I know that the family has been through a lot over the past year or so. He was very sick immediately after his surgery and they weren't sure that he wouldn't reject the organ completely. He's not much older than my own father and it scares me a little. I think it's bothering me more than it normally would because we've spent so much time at the hospital this week.

I'm not really doing much of anything this morning. Just poking away at some laundry and other little chores that got neglected this week. We'll be going to the hospital this afternoon and will probably try to spend a good chunk of time there tomorrow. I can't wait until he's home where he can be more comfortable. He's really anxious to get back to his own bed.

This weeks been a bit of a blur. Things are starting to get back to normal even though Joe's still in hospital. Anyway, as per usual, here's this week's Friday Five:

1. If you had the chance to meet someone you've never met, from the past or present, who would it be?

I'd really like to meet my maternal grandfather, Austin Forbes. He died, suddenly, of a heart attack when my mum was 17 so I never knew him. I was fortunate enough to have known all of my other grandparents. I am even old enough to remember my paternal grandmother who died when I was 8 (I don't know that any of my cousins really remember much about her).

2. If you had to live in a different century, past or future, which would it be?

I feel fortunate to be living in the time that I'm living in. I don't think I'd want to live in the future because I wouldn't really want to see how much more we have fucked the planet up. I'm sure that in the next century it will be completely uninhabitable. This is one (of my many) of the reason why I don't want to have a family. I can't imagine bringing children into such an environmentally compromised world. I guess if I had to live at another time, the early part of the last century would be my choice.

3. If you had to move anywhere else on Earth, where would it be?

I guess (if I could afford to do it the way I'd want to), New York City. I love what the city has to offer and I'd still be close to home and my family.

4. If you had to be a fictional character, who would it be?

This is kind of tough / dumb as I quite like being me. For completely silly reasons I suppose, Samantha Stevens from Bewitched. She has magic powers and can clean up her whole house by wiggling her nose. I wouldn't want her kids or husband though. ~shiver~

5. If you had to live with having someone else's face as your own for the rest of your life, whose would it be?

I quite like my face. I can't imagine wanting to look like someone else.

We've been through the proverbial ringer over the past 36 hours or so...Mark's dad is in the hospital, in the Coronary Care Unit of KGH. He was admitted last night after 9 hours in the emergency room. He'd been complaining of back and chest pain on Sunday and Monday but when I talked to him about it, we sort of thought that it might have been his arthritis acting up due to the change in the weather. What had actually happened (and what his GP picked up on during a regular visit on Tuesday morning -- thank goodness!) was way more than arthritis. The pain was caused by an ulcerated aorta. When the aorta tore, he was awakened by the pain and he was in discomfort from it afterwards because the dissection (or tear) was moving. They have in the CCU so that they can monitor where the dissection is and keep an eye on his blood pressure.

Potentially, this can be a life threatening thing but the odds are in Joe's favour. Ordinarily they are able to treat this sort of thing medically. In about 5% of cases, they have to have surgery. It's looking like he won't have to exercise that option but he does have to stay in the hospital until at least Sunday or Monday. Last night I don't think I slept for more than an hour at a time. Top it off with the fact that we're moving offices at work, tomorrow, and you can pretty much imagine what my week's been like. Yikes. I'm not sure when I'll get to post again. We're having an early night tonight, I'm just puttering on the computer and Mark's on the phone. It feels weird to be doing normal stuff when Joe's in the hospital and I'd probably feel worse about being home if I didn't know that he's loving the attention and is giving the nurses a good natured hard time. I swear that we feel a lot worse about things than he does. I don't mind though, I just want him to be up and around and back home soon.

Happy St. Patty's Day!

It was a weird and funky St. Patty's day here in our neck of the woods. The fast melting snow (and the fast melting ice on Lake Ontario) has made for some misty conditions. I was sitting in a meeting this afternoon and thought that either my allergies were causing my eyes to crust order in FAST fashion (I know that's gross but it's what I thought!) or my glasses had suddenly become ridiculously filthy. What had actually happened was that a thick fog had rolled in all over campus. It was creepy and cool at the same time. I love the weirdness that happens when the seasons are trying to change.

It's so warm today. Spring is in the air and the snow is melting. Everything is slushy and drippy. We have a bird feeder in our back yard and I put these sunflower seeds in it for the birds. The overflow of the seeds and the discarded shells have created a huge black crater in the deep white snow in the area beneath the feeder. This morning when I got up, I saw this big ass squirrel sitting in the middle of the crater, pigging out on sunflower seeds. He couldn't get into the feeder because it's on a shepherd's hook and it's "squirrel-proof." The birds are going crazy out in the yard too. We have these lovely red-headed finches out there and they sing beautifully as they fly back and forth from the spruce trees to the feeder. It's nice to see the neighbourhood critters back in action.

Yesterday, we saw the funniest thing, I am still kicking myself for not having my camera with me. We were on our way home and we drove by this little old lady up the street. She was crouched in the street in front of her house, chipping away at the ice with a butter knife. I know that we shouldn't have laughed (and I did think it was a little dangerous for her to be where she was - after all, we live on a very busy street with buses and all) but it was so unbelievable that you just had to laugh. I'm not sure how long she'd been out there but she had quite a long (albeit thin) trough chipped in the ice. On my way in here (to the computer room) I looked out the window and saw one of our neighbours hacking at his driveway with a huge pick thing. A little bit of warmth and sunshine just makes people go insane I guess.

I love silly quizzes but this one takes the cake:

You're Debra Messing...you're fresh, new and you
love to hang out with your Will and Grace
Cast...You start the trends and never apologize
for being you....you go girl!


What actress are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

One should never underestimate the power of really cheesy music, sometimes it can inspire you to just get shit done!

Of course, I speak from personal experience on this matter. As a matter of fact, I was inspired by crap just this morning. I collect mp3's of really cheesy stuff, guilty pleasures some would call them I guess and, when I'm home, alone, I play them. This morning, I was up early to take Mark to work. When I got home, I started making a mental list of what I needed (wanted?) to get done today. I sat in front of the computer, playing free cell for a while...trying to talk myself into moving my butt. Well, I clicked on some Jody Watley and voila! I was out of my chair, running around, stripping beds, doing laundry, cleaning the bathroom, riding the exercise bike...it's only 10 a.m. and I've got about 1/2 of what I wanted to do today, done. Yay me!

We shouldn't mock what we don't understand. Sometimes, Army of Lovers can help you clean the bathroom!

So I had a few dreams last night. They were kind of all over the place. I had a dream about an old friend, Nick, last night. Probably because I'd been going through some photos yesterday and came across some of him. In my dream, he came to visit us. We were living in a different house and we had a tonne of people staying with us, it might have been Christmas time or something. Nick had become some kind of photo-journalist and was showing me all these photos he had taken of anti-war protests. I was showing him all the photos that I had been taking recently with my digital camera. We just had a nice visit and everyone was in a really good mood in our house.

In another dream, Mark and I were visiting Roger Waters. This isn't as strange as it probably seems because Mark is a huge fan of Roger's and has worked for him a couple of times and our house is full of Roger / Pink Floyd stuff. Anyway, in the dream, we were at Roger's house watching television, drinking wine, and Roger was cooking us dinner (which is an odd thing because Mark is a chef and he's cooked for Roger in the past when he worked for him). Anyway, Mark and Roger were having a good natured pissing-contest about something we were watching. Mark was boasting about how many somethings (episodes?) of whatever it was we were watching that he had downloaded and Roger was boasting about how many of them he had recorded on writeable DVD from his satellite. You just can't win a pissing-contest about such things with a guy of Roger's means though. Neither dream was scary or weird but then, dreams can be ordinary too sometimes I guess, these sure were.

On Monday, it seems like Friday is a million miles away yet, here it is, Friday again. Yikes! Here's this week's Friday Five:

1. Do you like talking on the phone? Why or why not?
Sometimes yes, sometimes no. I spend a good chunk of my work day, some days, on the phone so it really depends on how that's gone. It also depends on my mood. If I'm feeling tired or impatient, I don't like to be on the phone. If I'm in a good mood and chatting to a friend, I can be on the phone for hours.

2. Who is the last person you talked to on the phone?
Last night, a former co-worker called me and we chatted for about 20 minutes.

3. About how many telephones do you have at home?
We have 4 telephones in our house (one in the living room, one in the computer room, one in our bedroom and one in the spare room) which are on the same line, plus 2 cell phones (his and hers).

4. Have you encountered anyone who has really bad phone manners? What happened?
Oh shit yeah! I once had a telemarketer call me up, with his mouth full of food. When I told him that I wasn't interested in what he was selling and attempted to hang up, he started asking me if I was related to this or that person who had the same last night as me. When he hung up, I called back (thank you caller id) and spoke with his manager. I don't know if the manager gave a rat's ass about but I was not impressed. This guy was so not into his job.

5. Would you rather pick up the phone and call someone or write them an e-mail or a letter? Why or why not?
Again, it depends. If it's someone I really would like to chat with, I'll call them. On the other hand, sometimes you just need to get some information to a person and you don't need to actually talk to them so an email (or a voice mail message if you can send them an "express" message) is fine.

I don't think that I had any dreams last night. That's not really true, I know that I was having a dream when a charly horse rudely woke me up at 3 a.m. Fortunately, it calmed down quickly and I got back to sleep. Unfortunately, the dream was interrupted and I never got back into it.

Today I'm buried in boxes and "stuff" here at work. I've begun to sort through things and get ready for our move next week. I've been discovering lots of lost supplies which we didn't think we had. This should go a long way to saving us money next budget year. yippee huh?

I re-read my post from yesterday about the dream I had, and then the one I wrote from the previous evening about Zumpano...maybe the James Gandolfini connection was from listening to "She's a cold blooded Sicilian" right before bed. Perhaps I had visions of mafia movies or the Sopranos dancing around my sub-conscious. I can't remember my dreams from last night. Yesterday morning they were really vivid, but not today. I recall waking up briefly in the middle of the night last night and thinking "oh, I'll have to remember that" but now it's gone. Strange. I do know that except for a moment in the middle of the night when I woke for a second, I slept like the dead last night. I don't think I even moved at all. We've both had some kind of weird stomach bug thing for a few days and it has really zonked me out. Last night we were asleep before 9 p.m.

So yesterday, I had my more compact "to do" list but still didn't get everything done from it. It's not all bad though, I ended up having get two projects finished that I had forgotten about and one of actual list items took me way longer to complete then I had originally thought it would. There seem to be so many people coming and going through the office this week that I'm amazed that I'm getting anything done at all.

Before we bought this house, Mark and I lived in an apartment. I had lived there for 10 years before moving into our home. I often have weird dreams about the place, usually about moving from one unit in the building, to another. This is odd because our landlord was a complete asshole who has since lost the building and the last few years I was there were extremely difficult. Anyway, last night, I slept like a rock but had a number of weird dreams as morning approached. One of the dreams was of moving into a different, recently renovated (which, if you knew my landlord would have been totally impossible) with a dream kitchen, etc. Also in the dream, I was at some kind of picnic or large party with a friend I knew from elementary school. Her mother and brother were also there. Her brother looked to be the same size he was as a kid, but had the face of a little old man, her mother looked young, very odd. Anyway, in part of the dream, I run into James Gandolfini at the bar and we chatted about his current legal woes and I gave him a big hug before returning to my friends. In the dream, I was surprised to see him there but they all had these "tickets" (which had been distributed in the mail by the Bay) to see him in court. Also, I spent a lot of time arranging dishes in my new dishwasher in the "dream kitchen." Strange huh? I'm not sure what it all means, probably doesn't mean anything. Maybe I'm getting a new dishwasher.

mmmmm....another monday is over!!

Last night, during a commercial break from the Simpsons, I was in my kitchen tidying up things and I thought, ugh, back to work tomorrow. Now ordinarily I don't "ugh" on Sunday nights, I really like my job and all, something in me though just felt like the weekend wasn't long enough this week. I guess part of it is because I had a wonky tummy for a few days and felt that the best part of the weekend was spent feeling less than 100%. I felt ripped off a bit I guess. I shouldn't have. It was selfish of me to be "ugh"-ing considering that a week before I was worried about my job and was busy updating my resume (which is never a bad thing to do necessarily, it's just not fun to do when you feel that your back is to the wall). Despite the tummy bug, I'd had a nice weekend, got all my laundry and stuff done on Saturday, and on Sunday, Mark and I took a nice drive through the sunny country-side, up to the Rideau Lakes district. It was so pretty, a couple of times, we came over hills and both said "wow" out loud at the snow on the hills, and the frozen lakes. Everything looks terrific.

I'm finding though that I'm having a hard time concentrating at work these days. It began as fall-out from the political bullshit we'd been going through and has continued to flourish as a result of knowing that we're moving upstairs into different offices. It's like, we've put up with our less than satisfactory location for so long that now that we know we won't be there much longer, it's become virtually intolerable. Although we're moving on March 20, which is just next week, it can't happen quick enough to please me. I guess I'm just never happy huh? Miserable to the end I suppose.

Tomorrow, I'm going to try to be positive. I made a list of 3 things to do tomorrow and I will complete the list. I think that my daily lists have just gotten too long lately so, when I can't accomplish everything on them, I feel that I've accomplished nothing. I need to focus more on what I did get done and not what I didn't do. I'll just do this, 3 things at a time, until we get moved and settled in to our new office.

Anyway, I'm heading off to bed soon, I've been listening to some old favourite CD's over the past couple of days. I'm enjoying them immensely and would strongly urge you to do the same. Old familiar lovely songs just can't help but make you smile. Right now, I'm listening to Zumpano's Look What the Rookie Did. Maybe I'll have a dream about cold-blooded Sicilian girls..

Do you think that "flash freeze" is a real weather condition or that the folks at Environment Canada just made it up? We had another "flash freeze" warning last night. It didn't amount to much though. When we went to bed, it was raining. This morning it was a lot colder than last night but not outrageously so. I think that they are just making up things to try to make the weather seem less gross.

We're just having a lazy day today, so far. We actually slept in for a change and had a leisurely breakfast while watching Paradise Heights. I'd taped it from BBC Canada on Friday night. It was the 3rd episode in the series, we missed the 2nd but really enjoyed the pilot. The show stars Charles Dale, who we loved on Coronation Street when he played the (tragically) departed Dennis Stringer. It's great to see him in this. His acting is marvelous and I now see how it would have been a true waste of his talent to have stayed on the street, playing a mechanic, for years and years. It's not that there aren't good actors on the Street who have been there for a long, long (long) time but they seem to get into a comfortable rut and often aren't given the opportunity to really grow as an artist. Charles Dale as Clive Eustace in Paradise Heights, is just wonderful.

Anyway, I'm not sure what the rest of the day will bring. I got a lot of my housework type things done yesterday so I'm planning (at this point) to do very little today. Hope you're having a lazy Sunday too!

It's Saturday. It's cloudy. It's quiz time again:


congratulations. you are the kiss my ass happy
bunny. You don't care about anyone or anything.
You must be so proud


which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

A friend forwarded this to me today. Thought you might enjoy it as much as I did:

Rick Mercer's Apology to the USA

On behalf of Canadians everywhere I'd like to offer an apology to the United States of America. We haven't been getting along very well recently and for that, I am truly sorry.

I'm sorry we called George Bush a moron.

He is a moron but, it wasn't nice of us to point it out. If it's any consolation, the fact that he's a moron shouldn't reflect poorly on the people of America. After all it's not like you actually elected him.

I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees than you, doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and better than your own.

I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defense I guess our excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than yours.

I'm sorry we burnt down your white house during the war of 1812. I notice you've rebuilt it! It's Very Nice.

I'm sorry about your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer but, we Feel your Pain.

I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you're going up against a crazed dictator, you wanna have your friends by your side.

I realize it took more than two years before you guys pitched in against Hitler, but that was different. Everyone knew he had weapons.

And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way, which is really a thinly veiled criticism.

I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this. We've seen what you do to countries you get upset with.

Thank you.

Holy smokes, it's Friday again. I say holy smokes but it did seem to be a long time getting here. I actually thought it was Friday yesterday, for most of the day. Anyway, it's time for the Friday Five again:

1. What was the last song you heard?
Last night I was listening to The Price of Oil by Billy Bragg, you can download it from me by clicking here. In my head, for some reason, I have "Shut Up" by Kelly Osbourne.

2. What were the last two movies you saw?
Legally Blonde, last weekend on cable, and Shrek (I could watch it every weekend!).

3. What were the last three things you purchased?
Quick Tax income tax software, enriched soy milk and bananas. If you're talking about non-necessity of life type things, I bought 3 DVD's yesterday (before groceries): The Osbournes First Season, Spongebob Squarepants: Tales from the Deep and Spongebob Squarepants: Lost at Sea.

4. What four things do you need to do this weekend?
I desperately need to do laundry this weekend, lots of it. Other than that, I don't need to do much. We did errands last night so this weekend hopefully I'll be able to get away with some minor tidying up and some vegging out.

5. Who are the last five people you talked to?
Mark, the cashier at the grocery store, the woman (Debbie) who worked in the health food section of the grocery store, a co-worker (Ann) who we ran into when we walked into the grocery store last night and Mark's dad (Joe).

Did you see this on the CNN site today? If it wasn't so disgusting, it would be funny, almost. How can you arrest someone for wearing a shirt that advocates peace? What's next? Imprisonment for free thought? I don't want to sound paranoid but can internment camps be far behind? The government in the US is out of control. My heart truly goes out to the peaceful, wonderful people in the United States who are stuck with a moron for a president, who they didn't even elect.

'Peace' T-shirt gets man arrested

Thursday, March 6, 2003 Posted: 0634 GMT

NEW YORK (Reuters) -- A lawyer was arrested late Monday and charged with trespassing at a public mall in the state of New York after refusing to take off a T-shirt advocating peace that he had just purchased at the mall.

According to the criminal complaint filed Monday, Stephen Downs was wearing a T-shirt bearing the words "Give Peace A Chance" that he had just purchased from a vendor inside the Crossgates Mall in Guilderland, New York, near Albany.

"I was in the food court with my son when I was confronted by two security guards and ordered to either take off the T-shirt or leave the mall," said Downs.

When Downs refused the security officers' orders, police from the town of Guilderland were called and he was arrested and taken away in handcuffs, charged with trespassing "in that he knowingly enter[ed] or remain[ed] unlawfully upon premises," the complaint read.

Downs said police tried to convince him he was wrong in his actions by refusing to remove the T-shirt because the mall "was like a private house and that I was acting poorly."

Calls to the Guilderland police and district attorney, Anthony Cardona and to officials at the mall were not returned for comment. Downs is due back in court for a hearing on March 17 and he could face up to a year in prison if convicted.

The fine folks at moveon.org are circulating an emergency petition to present to the UN Security Council. Click on the poster below to visit their website (and sign the petition if you're so inclined):

The snowstorm hit us but we didn't get any of the freezing rain (yay!). The sun is actually out now and the storm is behind us. I'm really hoping that this is the last winter storm we'll have to deal with this year, I'm not holding my breath necessarily but I'm optimistic.

Hump day was uneventful. Work was okay, busy, the day went by really quickly. We found out today that we're moving to a different spot in the building. I'm really happy about this. Our unit is located in the front reception area of the building and it's totally nutty busy all the time. The unit that is responsible for reception (there is a receptionist who reports to this other unit) is located upstairs. We're basically swapping spots with them and it's going to be so much better for us. We'll be closer to other units which we work closely with and I'll have some privacy for a change. It can be really difficult to concentrate when you're constantly by people who don't want to wait 3 seconds for the receptionist to acknowledge them. I'm not sure when it's going to happen but it should happen in the next couple of months sometime.

Things have definitely calmed down a bit at work. I'm cautiously optimistic about things. The days get easier to get through the closer we get to the weekend. I'm really looking forward to just chilling out this weekend and not doing much of anything.

The freezing rain forecast has been "down-graded" to huge ass amounts of snow. I must say, that is okay with me. It'll make things slow moving tomorrow but hopefully less dangerous. Why doesn't that make me feel better?

Well Happy Tuesday everyone. The week seems to be going along a lot better than it started. I think that I'm doing really well and staying level headed and keeping things in perspective. I work to live, I do not live to work. My job is not me. I think that it is easier for men to fall into the trap of allowing their careers to define them. I prefer to define myself by other, more important, and less tangible, ways.

I must say too that something which may be contributing to my ability to cope through the stress is the fact that Mark and I have made a complete change in our lifestyle which began on January 6. We made a commitment to making a healthier life for ourselves. We are very careful about the food we eat and we are exercising regularly. These are two things which we didn't do regularly prior to January 6. The result is that, physically, we are both feeling better, more energized, healthier.

So I'm working right now...well I'm on my lunch break but I am at work and my day is going well so far. The weather has warmed up a bit but we're supposed to get hit with more freezing rain tonight. Hopefully it'll just snow, I'd rather shovel than slide all over the place. Whatever ends up happening, we're grocery shopping tonight, get stocked up before the storm. I tell ya, spring can't get here fast enough.

I actually made it through today, sanity basically in tact.

I'm impressed but a little surprised to be honest. There was a definite atmosphere at work today, very intense conversations, etc...but overall, much better than on Friday. What's happening is basically the fall out from the folks who were let go last week. That's not to say that the dismissals caused the problems, they were more the straws on the back type of thing, know what I mean? Anyway, it's basically a pretty toxic environment.

Not everyone is entirely comfortable being there but there's not really a lot that one can do about it. We all like our jobs and want to stay in them. We also like the pay cheques and the homes and food that the money can provide. My way of dealing with things is to lay low, keep my head down and do my job and hope that certain individuals in upper-management move on to greener pastures. Nice huh? That's really the best way for me cope with it, and it works for me. I need the job, I like the job and I've learned that management types don't stay forever. Goodness knows I know this. So I'll sit, and wait, and be a good girl. If I actually thought that going to someone in upper-upper-management would help the situation, I'd do it in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, it would only put my ass in the hot seat and it wouldn't actually help.

I can report though that my stomach has unknotted itself for the first time since Thursday so that's definitely an improvement. After today, the week can only get better.

Yesterday we were joking about the forecast for the weather. We had a "flash freeze" warning in effect. Sounds like some old J. Geils band song doesn't it? Anyway, the temperature did drop here through the night. Yesterday it was around zero and slushy and drippy, today it's like minus 18 and windy, cold, bitter, everything's frozen. I'm not sure what it was exactly but something woke both Mark and I up at 3:30 a.m. this morning. Sounded like something dropping on the roof. The interior walls and windows are all in tact this morning though. I guess it could just have been the house contracting in the cold, after being so warm and wet yesterday. I can't wait for winter to be over, it's really not fun anymore!

I'm feeling so much better tonight about my work stuff. It really got to me a lot today and I fretted about it more than I probably should have. The bottom line is that no job lasts forever, I'm going to prepare to make a move and if something happens and I end up losing my job, it won't have been the first time and I'll get over it, and get something better. I truly believe that things happen for a reason. It just takes you a while to figure out what the reason is sometimes. Anyway, that having been said, I'm heading off to bed. 'night all!

Oh I slept like a rock last night. We ordinarily go to bed pretty early, around 9 p.m. or so, cuz we're usually up at 5 a.m. Anyway, last night it was actually after 11 p.m. by the time we turned out the lights so my head was stuck to the pillow until just past 6:30 a.m. I feel a little foggy this morning for the change in the schedule. It's neat though, waking up at that time now, seeing the daylight starting to poke through the blinds. Spring's on it's way. It's funny how we begin to obsess about spring at this time of year. It's nice to have something to be positive about. Work has become increasingly tense over the past couple of weeks. Political stuff mostly, bullshit, really. I've started to seriously consider a move, at least to a different department, if the opportunity presents itself. I hate to give up my job, I love it and I'm really good at it. But, unfortunately, sometimes you have obstacles that you can't move or control and you either have to live with them or just leave. I'm willing to hang in for a while and see what happens but, if I have to, I'll leave. I don't want to leave the organization completely. I've been working there for over 10 years now and have a pension, benefits and vacation entitlements to consider. The worst part about it is that I know that there are politics and bullshit everywhere you go, sickening isn't it?

It looks like we got snowed on last night. The sky is really dark gray and it's looking like it just might snow for the best part of today. Nice thing about snow at this time of the year is that it's more like rain so it shouldn't result in too much shovelling, if we're lucky. It'll be a good excuse though to stay indoors and get some things done. My clothes hamper is almost bursting again, I swear that the clothes are breeding in there. I'm looking forward to a nice quiet day, calm and peaceful day. I'm going to try to get the bullshit out of my mind.

Were it not for the snow on the ground and the bits of remaining ice hanging precariously from the trees, you would think it was summer outside. It's so foggy this morning, it looks really cool but I always associate fog with the summer season for some reason. I like how the sun's coming up earlier and earlier these days. It truly feels like spring might actually get here this year. I'm not sure why I'm complaining though. We basically didn't get any winter weather to speak of until well into January. A little snow in November but it didn't last long. Anyway, this kind of winter weather is probably far healthier than what we've had the past few years.

So it's Saturday again and I've got some puttering around the house to get doing. Just general tidying up, throwing in a couple of loads of laundry, that kind of thing. Once the weather gets a little nicer I'm going to start selling stuff on Ebay again. I hate running back and forth to the post office in this weather. I've found a lot of stuff in the big clean out that I can sell on Ebay. I did okay with it last year, sold a lot of CD's and videos. Anyway, I should run along and get the coffee started, have a happy Saturday!