can someone please explain to me how, in our Nation's capitol, in 2008, crap like this can go on?
A four-year-old girl found a severed pig's head bearing a slur against Muslims on the front steps of her family's home in Ottawa's west end over the weekend.
The Ottawa police hate crimes unit is investigating after police were called around 8 a.m. Saturday to a home on Elmira Drive, south of the Queensway and west of Woodroffe Avenue, said Const. Jean-Paul Vincelette.
Investigators believe the pig's head was left in front of the home between 3 a.m. and 8 a.m. that morning, said an Ottawa police news release.
Vincelette said police could provide no details about the circumstances or why they believe it might be a hate crime, as that might jeopardize the investigation.
However, a woman who lives in the home where the pig's head was found told several local media outlets that the head was discovered by her four-year-old daughter, and had a slur targeting Muslims written on it with lipliner. She also said that the family had been having some conflicts with neighbours.
Police said they are following leads based on tips from the public and other investigative work.
Lamamba Iman, the community house coordinator of the Pinecrest Terrace public housing complex where the incident took place, said while the incident is serious, it is unusual.
"It’s an isolated incident," he said Monday. "And a very extreme one too."
Iman, who is Muslim, said he has lived at the complex for five years, and found it to be quiet and diverse.
"People get along here very well."
Showing posts with label news. Show all posts
Showing posts with label news. Show all posts
Monday, June 16, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
mid week observations
how is your week going? quickly? mine too!
Earlier today, as I said goodbye for the day to a colleague who works a reduced appointment, I was reminded of a Roger Waters lyric, "Life is long but it goes fast."
My week's been flying by but I thought I should stop for a moment and make note of a few things that caught my attention this week:
1. The death of Sydney Pollock. I enjoyed some of his films but mostly I'll remember him as Will's dad on Will & Grace. I like to think that he must have been a lot like George Truman - a sweet, lovely, funny man.
2. R Kelly's trial. FINALLY. Send him to prison as soon as possible. I cannot believe how long this has dragged on or that folks still listen to his music. A few years ago, when I first heard "we r in need of a musical revolution," I shouted my agreement with Esthero when she sang, "Tell me why - A grown man can rape a little girl, but we - Still hear his shit on the radio - A grown-ass man can videotape a little girl, but we - Still see his mug up on our video screens" It's bullshit and it needs to be dealt with soon.
3. The Canadian weather station on Mars. A very cool reason to be proud to be a Canadian during a week when some of us may be ashamed of the actions that our government have taken in the past.
Earlier today, as I said goodbye for the day to a colleague who works a reduced appointment, I was reminded of a Roger Waters lyric, "Life is long but it goes fast."
My week's been flying by but I thought I should stop for a moment and make note of a few things that caught my attention this week:
1. The death of Sydney Pollock. I enjoyed some of his films but mostly I'll remember him as Will's dad on Will & Grace. I like to think that he must have been a lot like George Truman - a sweet, lovely, funny man.
2. R Kelly's trial. FINALLY. Send him to prison as soon as possible. I cannot believe how long this has dragged on or that folks still listen to his music. A few years ago, when I first heard "we r in need of a musical revolution," I shouted my agreement with Esthero when she sang, "Tell me why - A grown man can rape a little girl, but we - Still hear his shit on the radio - A grown-ass man can videotape a little girl, but we - Still see his mug up on our video screens" It's bullshit and it needs to be dealt with soon.
3. The Canadian weather station on Mars. A very cool reason to be proud to be a Canadian during a week when some of us may be ashamed of the actions that our government have taken in the past.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Free Tibet, now!
I heard about this story this morning on the CBC radio news. It's a little bit ironic.
'Free Tibet' flags made in China
Police in southern China have discovered a factory manufacturing Free Tibet flags, media reports say.
The factory in Guangdong had been completing overseas orders for the flag of the Tibetan government-in-exile.
Workers said they thought they were just making colourful flags and did not realise their meaning.
But then some of them saw TV images of protesters holding the emblem and they alerted the authorities, according to Hong Kong's Ming Pao newspaper.
Tibet independence
The factory owner reportedly told police the emblems had been ordered from outside China, and he did not know that they stood for an independent Tibet.
Workers who had grown suspicious checked the meaning of the flag by going online.
Thousands of flags had already been packed for shipping.
Police believe that some may already have been sent overseas, and could appear in Hong Kong during the Olympic torch relay there this week.
The authorities have now stepped up the inspection of cars heading to the Shenzhen Special Economic Zone and onwards to Hong Kong.
The Olympic torch is due to tour Hong Kong on Friday. It will then travel to a series of cities in mainland China before reaching Beijing for the start of the Olympic Games in August.
Its progress around the world has been marked by pro-Tibet demonstrations in several cities - including Paris, London and San Francisco.
Rallies began in the main Tibetan city of Lhasa on 10 March, led by Buddhist monks.
Over the following week protests spread and became violent - particularly in Lhasa, where ethnic Chinese were targeted and shops were burnt down.
Beijing cracked down on the protesters with force, sending in hundreds of troops to regain control of the restive areas.
But it has since agreed to resume talks with representatives of the Dalai Lama.
Story from BBC NEWS:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/hi/asia-pacific/7370903.stm
'Free Tibet' flags made in China
Police in southern China have discovered a factory manufacturing Free Tibet flags, media reports say.
The factory in Guangdong had been completing overseas orders for the flag of the Tibetan government-in-exile.
Workers said they thought they were just making colourful flags and did not realise their meaning.
But then some of them saw TV images of protesters holding the emblem and they alerted the authorities, according to Hong Kong's Ming Pao newspaper.
Tibet independence
The factory owner reportedly told police the emblems had been ordered from outside China, and he did not know that they stood for an independent Tibet.
Workers who had grown suspicious checked the meaning of the flag by going online.
Thousands of flags had already been packed for shipping.
Police believe that some may already have been sent overseas, and could appear in Hong Kong during the Olympic torch relay there this week.
The authorities have now stepped up the inspection of cars heading to the Shenzhen Special Economic Zone and onwards to Hong Kong.
The Olympic torch is due to tour Hong Kong on Friday. It will then travel to a series of cities in mainland China before reaching Beijing for the start of the Olympic Games in August.
Its progress around the world has been marked by pro-Tibet demonstrations in several cities - including Paris, London and San Francisco.
Rallies began in the main Tibetan city of Lhasa on 10 March, led by Buddhist monks.
Over the following week protests spread and became violent - particularly in Lhasa, where ethnic Chinese were targeted and shops were burnt down.
Beijing cracked down on the protesters with force, sending in hundreds of troops to regain control of the restive areas.
But it has since agreed to resume talks with representatives of the Dalai Lama.
Story from BBC NEWS:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/hi/asia-pacific/7370903.stm
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
not surprised
When I heard about this today, I was not surprised. I was relieved actually. These guys just seem to continue to get away with all sorts. They can proclaim their innocence all that they want, where there is smoke, there is usually fire.
Mounties search Tory headquarters
RCMP searched Conservative party headquarters in Ottawa on Tuesday at the request of Elections Canada.
Elections Canada spokesman John Enright confirmed that elections commissioner William Corbett requested the assistance of the Mounties to execute a search warrant, but he wouldn't say why.
Conservative House Leader Peter Van Loan later said during question period the search was "in relation to the issue of the campaign financing questions and our approach on spending."
Camera crews, including one from the Liberal party, were on hand as police arrived at the downtown building.
CBC News first reported RCMP officers were seen in the 12th-floor party offices and the 17th-floor mailroom. An elections official later left with a box of documents.
RCMP Cpl. Jean Hainey said the Mounties were merely assisting.
"It is not an RCMP investigation. We're there to assist, but that's it."
Elections Canada is probing Conservative party spending for advertisements during the 2006 parliamentary election campaign. Corbett, who enforces the Elections Canada Act, launched an investigation in April 2007 after chief electoral officer Marc Mayrand challenged the spending claims.
Money sent to local offices
The Conservative Party of Canada, having reached the $18.3-million advertising spending limit set out under the Canada Elections Act, transferred cash to 66 local campaign offices.
The local campaigns sent the money back to national party headquarters to buy local television and radio advertisements for their candidates.
Elections Canada says the advertisements produced through the local offices didn't qualify as local spending because they were too similar to national ads. The ads looked exactly the same as the national ads, except for small print or the names of the individual candidates.
Financial agents for some of the Conservative candidates later asked to be reimbursed for those expenses. Candidates who get 10 per cent of the votes in their riding get a portion of their election expenses returned from Elections Canada.
Elections Canada refused, saying the party paid for the ads, not the candidates.
The Conservatives maintain they didn't break any rules.
Soon after Corbett launched his investigation, the Conservatives went to Federal Court in an attempt to force Mayrand to reimburse the expenses to the Conservative candidates. That case has not yet reached a hearing stage, with the party and Elections Canada still filing evidentiary briefs.
Search dominates question period
Opposition politicians, who have called it an "in-and-out" scheme, grilled the government on the election spending issue during a raucous question period Tuesday.
"What will it take for the prime minister to finally admit that the Conservative Party broke the law?" Liberal Leader Stéphane Dion asked.
Prime Minister Stephen Harper dismissed Dion's charges as "completely false" and said lawyers for his party were preparing to interview Elections Canada officials on Wednesday in their pending lawsuit against the federal body.
"Our legal position is rock-solid," Harper said.
Dion accused of the government of stonewalling an Elections Canada probe into the matter by launching its own lawsuit.
Harper said the party has provided Elections Canada with every document it has requested, adding he doesn't know why it was necessary to call in the RCMP.
NDP Leader Jack Layton said the government has "closed the door on transparency" to Canadians.
Mounties search Tory headquarters
RCMP searched Conservative party headquarters in Ottawa on Tuesday at the request of Elections Canada.
Elections Canada spokesman John Enright confirmed that elections commissioner William Corbett requested the assistance of the Mounties to execute a search warrant, but he wouldn't say why.
Conservative House Leader Peter Van Loan later said during question period the search was "in relation to the issue of the campaign financing questions and our approach on spending."
Camera crews, including one from the Liberal party, were on hand as police arrived at the downtown building.
CBC News first reported RCMP officers were seen in the 12th-floor party offices and the 17th-floor mailroom. An elections official later left with a box of documents.
RCMP Cpl. Jean Hainey said the Mounties were merely assisting.
"It is not an RCMP investigation. We're there to assist, but that's it."
Elections Canada is probing Conservative party spending for advertisements during the 2006 parliamentary election campaign. Corbett, who enforces the Elections Canada Act, launched an investigation in April 2007 after chief electoral officer Marc Mayrand challenged the spending claims.
Money sent to local offices
The Conservative Party of Canada, having reached the $18.3-million advertising spending limit set out under the Canada Elections Act, transferred cash to 66 local campaign offices.
The local campaigns sent the money back to national party headquarters to buy local television and radio advertisements for their candidates.
Elections Canada says the advertisements produced through the local offices didn't qualify as local spending because they were too similar to national ads. The ads looked exactly the same as the national ads, except for small print or the names of the individual candidates.
Financial agents for some of the Conservative candidates later asked to be reimbursed for those expenses. Candidates who get 10 per cent of the votes in their riding get a portion of their election expenses returned from Elections Canada.
Elections Canada refused, saying the party paid for the ads, not the candidates.
The Conservatives maintain they didn't break any rules.
Soon after Corbett launched his investigation, the Conservatives went to Federal Court in an attempt to force Mayrand to reimburse the expenses to the Conservative candidates. That case has not yet reached a hearing stage, with the party and Elections Canada still filing evidentiary briefs.
Search dominates question period
Opposition politicians, who have called it an "in-and-out" scheme, grilled the government on the election spending issue during a raucous question period Tuesday.
"What will it take for the prime minister to finally admit that the Conservative Party broke the law?" Liberal Leader Stéphane Dion asked.
Prime Minister Stephen Harper dismissed Dion's charges as "completely false" and said lawyers for his party were preparing to interview Elections Canada officials on Wednesday in their pending lawsuit against the federal body.
"Our legal position is rock-solid," Harper said.
Dion accused of the government of stonewalling an Elections Canada probe into the matter by launching its own lawsuit.
Harper said the party has provided Elections Canada with every document it has requested, adding he doesn't know why it was necessary to call in the RCMP.
NDP Leader Jack Layton said the government has "closed the door on transparency" to Canadians.
Friday, March 07, 2008
funny but a little bit sad
The latest street danger? Walking and texting
There are those who believe that the pattern etched by humanity across the great book of world history is one of linear progression. Of improvement. Of advance. Of some nebulous but discernible form of betterment. Those are the people who have not yet heard the news that Brick Lane in east London has started padding its lampposts to prevent those who use its thoroughfare from suffering "walk and text" injuries.
In case anyone reading this is one of the 68,000 individuals who apparently interfaced thus with street furniture in London last year (mostly resulting in cuts and bruises, but with a fair proportion of broken noses, cheekbones and one fractured skull in the mix too) and therefore is self-evidently stupid enough to need the problem further delineated, these are injuries caused by people who do not understand the importance of peripheral vision. Until, that is, they compromise it by texting as they walk along the street and into lampposts, signs, bollards and other pedestrians.
Researchers (admittedly the self-interested variety) from a text information company have found that 44% of people are in favour of padding street furniture, while 27% favour "mobile motorways" - coloured lines running down the pavement that texters can follow without fear of meeting immoveable objects. But why stop there? Why not take the following, equally simple protective measures:
· A sherpa on every corner, to usher the texter safely through the crowded streets.
· Replace cars with tyreless chambers running along fixed rails to enable "drivers" to text more safely.
· A stairlift in every home to negate the possibility of tripping up or downstairs while urgently texting your friend or family member about your plans for 2nite.
Funding for all these measures could easily be incorporated in the abolition of personal responsibility (last vestiges) bill, at its third reading tomorrow in the House of Commons. Unless of course it is vetoed on the grounds that if we don't let these Darwinian thinnings of the herd play out occasionally, we are all going to drown in a pool of stupidity.
We shl C.
guardian.co.uk © Guardian News and Media Limited 2008
There are those who believe that the pattern etched by humanity across the great book of world history is one of linear progression. Of improvement. Of advance. Of some nebulous but discernible form of betterment. Those are the people who have not yet heard the news that Brick Lane in east London has started padding its lampposts to prevent those who use its thoroughfare from suffering "walk and text" injuries.
In case anyone reading this is one of the 68,000 individuals who apparently interfaced thus with street furniture in London last year (mostly resulting in cuts and bruises, but with a fair proportion of broken noses, cheekbones and one fractured skull in the mix too) and therefore is self-evidently stupid enough to need the problem further delineated, these are injuries caused by people who do not understand the importance of peripheral vision. Until, that is, they compromise it by texting as they walk along the street and into lampposts, signs, bollards and other pedestrians.
Researchers (admittedly the self-interested variety) from a text information company have found that 44% of people are in favour of padding street furniture, while 27% favour "mobile motorways" - coloured lines running down the pavement that texters can follow without fear of meeting immoveable objects. But why stop there? Why not take the following, equally simple protective measures:
· A sherpa on every corner, to usher the texter safely through the crowded streets.
· Replace cars with tyreless chambers running along fixed rails to enable "drivers" to text more safely.
· A stairlift in every home to negate the possibility of tripping up or downstairs while urgently texting your friend or family member about your plans for 2nite.
Funding for all these measures could easily be incorporated in the abolition of personal responsibility (last vestiges) bill, at its third reading tomorrow in the House of Commons. Unless of course it is vetoed on the grounds that if we don't let these Darwinian thinnings of the herd play out occasionally, we are all going to drown in a pool of stupidity.
We shl C.
guardian.co.uk © Guardian News and Media Limited 2008
Thursday, February 28, 2008
porn shortage
You can assume that the economy is really in the shits when poor folk, are forced to break-in to homes for their porn fix. It's a sad statement about our society. We should have a telethon - free porn for all!!
Woman finds half-naked man watching porn in her home
An Ottawa woman awoke early Wednesday morning to find a man with his pants down watching pornography on her home computer.
The woman in her 20s woke up around 4 a.m. to discover the partly-undressed stranger in her apartment on Langs Road, close to Montfort Hospital in the east end, according to an Ottawa police news release Thursday.
The man fled through the front door of her apartment after she confronted him.
Police are searching for a male about 30 years old, white, and about five foot six to five foot eight inches tall (168 to 173 centimetres), with a thin build.
He had pale skin, short dark hair, and thick glasses.
Woman finds half-naked man watching porn in her home
An Ottawa woman awoke early Wednesday morning to find a man with his pants down watching pornography on her home computer.
The woman in her 20s woke up around 4 a.m. to discover the partly-undressed stranger in her apartment on Langs Road, close to Montfort Hospital in the east end, according to an Ottawa police news release Thursday.
The man fled through the front door of her apartment after she confronted him.
Police are searching for a male about 30 years old, white, and about five foot six to five foot eight inches tall (168 to 173 centimetres), with a thin build.
He had pale skin, short dark hair, and thick glasses.
Friday, February 08, 2008
mid-day news
I was supposed to have a lunch date but my date had to leave work early to tend to her sick daughter. It's a good excuse I suppose. The last time she ditched me for lunch it was to go to an ultrasound appointment (she's pregnant) so, yeah, she doesn't ditch without good reasons.
In the end, it worked out okay anyway because I have a bunch of little things I'm trying to get off my "to do" list today and it's been slow going. All week, I've been getting stuff done but not necessarily the things I really wanted to do. I really truly feel like this is my job now (after almost 5 weeks). Once you know what you're supposed to be doing and you know when it's not happening, that is when you know the job is truly yours.
This morning I heard that they have finally filled my old job. The person who got it is someone I know and I'm happy for her. She was on a contract and this is a "continuing appointment" for her. I'm really happy for her although it seemed to take forever to get the job filled. I gave them 6 weeks notice and have been in my job for 5 weeks so...
In other news, it seems to be snowing again. Snowing still? It's been very snowy here lately and really, it looks very "Canadian" outside. I guess this is a good thing because hey, we are in Canada afterall.
In the end, it worked out okay anyway because I have a bunch of little things I'm trying to get off my "to do" list today and it's been slow going. All week, I've been getting stuff done but not necessarily the things I really wanted to do. I really truly feel like this is my job now (after almost 5 weeks). Once you know what you're supposed to be doing and you know when it's not happening, that is when you know the job is truly yours.
This morning I heard that they have finally filled my old job. The person who got it is someone I know and I'm happy for her. She was on a contract and this is a "continuing appointment" for her. I'm really happy for her although it seemed to take forever to get the job filled. I gave them 6 weeks notice and have been in my job for 5 weeks so...
In other news, it seems to be snowing again. Snowing still? It's been very snowy here lately and really, it looks very "Canadian" outside. I guess this is a good thing because hey, we are in Canada afterall.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
gotta sort the good fruit from the bad fruit
I found this today. I hadn't seen in a long time and really, it's probably my favourite Hefner video. It's simple. The song is lovely and so is the video.
This article amused me a lot. Suck it kids. Some of us "old folks" are probably using some of this before you are and some of us have been "online" since before you were born.
Youth Vs. Adults in Gadget Wars
CHICAGO (AP) — Scott Seigal was awakened one recent early morning by a cell phone text message. It was from his girlfriend's mother.
His friends' parents have posted greetings on his MySpace page for all the world to see. And his 72-year-old grandmother sends him online instant messages every day so they can better stay in touch while he's at college.
"It's nice that adults know SOME things," says Seigal, an 18-year-old freshman at Binghamton University in New York. He especially likes IMing with his grandma because he's "not a huge talker on the phone."
Increasingly, however, he and other young people are feeling uncomfortable about their elders encroaching on what many young adults and teens consider their technological turf.
Long gone are the days when the average, middle-aged adult did well to simply work a computer. Now those same adults have Gmail, upload videos on YouTube, and sport the latest high-tech gadgets.
Young people have responded, as they always have, by searching out the latest way to stay ahead in the race for technological know-how and cool. They use Twitter, which allows blogging from one's mobile phone or BlackBerry, or Hulu.com, a site where they can download videos and TV programs.
They customize their cell phones with various faceplates and ringtones. And, sometimes, they find ways to exclude adults — using high-frequency ringtones that teens can hear but most adults can't, for instance.
Nowhere are the technological turf wars more apparent than on social networking sites, such as MySpace and Facebook, which went from being student-oriented to allowing adults outside the college ranks to join.
Gary Rudman, a California-based youth market researcher, has heard the complaints. He regularly interviews young people who think it's "creepy" when an older person — we're talking someone they know — asks to join their social network as a "friend." It means, among other things, that they can view each others' profiles and what they and their friends post.
"It would be like a 40-year-old attending the prom or a frat party," Rudman says. "It just doesn't work."
It's a particular quandary for image-conscious teens, says Eric Kuhn, a junior at Hamilton College in upstate New York, who's blogged about the etiquette of social networking.
He accepted his mom's invitation to be Facebook friends and has, in turn, become online friends with other adults she knows. But so far, he says, his 16-year-old sister has declined to add their mom "because she thinks it is not cool."
Lakeshia Poole, a 24-year-old from Atlanta, says "my Facebook self has become a watered down version of me." Worried about older adults snooping around, she's now more careful about what she posts and has also made her profile private, so only her online friends can see it.
"It's somewhat a Catch-22, because now I'm hidden from the people I would really like to connect with," she says.
Lauren Auster-Gussman, a freshman at Juniata College in Pennsylvania, says it's particularly awkward when one of her parents' friends asks to join her social network. She thinks Facebook should only be used by people younger than, say, 40.
"I mean, I'm in college," she says. "There are bound to be at least a few drunken pictures of me on Facebook, and I don't need my parents' friends seeing them."
There are ways around the problem.
It's possible on some sites, for instance, to limit what someone can see on your profile, though some users think it's a pain to have to deal with that.
"That is the beauty of Facebook and other online social networks. If you want to only interact with your peers, then you can adjust the settings to only allow that," says Katie Jones, a senior at Ohio Wesleyan University, who's studied ways prospective students use Facebook to contact students at colleges and universities they're interested in attending.
It's also possible to simply decline or ignore an adult's request to be an online friend. Or adults could back off and only use social networking to contact their own peers.
But it's not always so easy to relinquish that control, especially for parents of teens, says Kathryn Montgomery, the author of "Generation Digital: Politics, Commerce and Childhood in the Age of the Internet" and mother of a 14-year-old.
"As parents, we have to figure out where to draw the line between encouraging and allowing our teens to have autonomy, to experience their separate culture, and when we need to monitor their use of media," says Montgomery, a professor of communication at American University.
She says it's especially important to help young people understand that social networking is often more public than they think. Sometimes monitoring them is the best way to do that.
Sue Frownfelter, a 46-year-old mom in Flint, Mich., thinks it's less of an issue for parents who discover technology with — or even before — their children. Among other things, she has a blog, uses Twitter and has a Chumby, a personal Internet device that displays anything from news and weather to photos and eBay auctions.
Her children, ages 9 and 11, begged her to allow them to have a MySpace page, because she does. Instead, she suggested Imbee.com, a social networking site for kids that allows parental monitoring.
"I can't imagine my life without technology! It has truly become an extension of who I am and who my family will likely be," says Frownfelter, who works at a community college.
Still, in today's world, parents are finding that the urge to stake out technological turf is starting at a very young age.
Jennifer Abelson, a mom in New York, says her 2-year-old daughter asks every day if she can play on the "'puter" on such kid-oriented sites as Noggin.com and Nickjr.com.
"She's constantly telling us 'I will do it!' and 'Go away!' if we try to interfere with her 'working,'" Abelson says.
"It's pretty amazing to see technology ingrained at such a young age. But I know she's learned so much from being able to use technology on her own."
Martha Irvine is an AP national writer. She can be reached at mirvine(at)ap.org or via http://myspace.com/irvineap
This article amused me a lot. Suck it kids. Some of us "old folks" are probably using some of this before you are and some of us have been "online" since before you were born.
Youth Vs. Adults in Gadget Wars
CHICAGO (AP) — Scott Seigal was awakened one recent early morning by a cell phone text message. It was from his girlfriend's mother.
His friends' parents have posted greetings on his MySpace page for all the world to see. And his 72-year-old grandmother sends him online instant messages every day so they can better stay in touch while he's at college.
"It's nice that adults know SOME things," says Seigal, an 18-year-old freshman at Binghamton University in New York. He especially likes IMing with his grandma because he's "not a huge talker on the phone."
Increasingly, however, he and other young people are feeling uncomfortable about their elders encroaching on what many young adults and teens consider their technological turf.
Long gone are the days when the average, middle-aged adult did well to simply work a computer. Now those same adults have Gmail, upload videos on YouTube, and sport the latest high-tech gadgets.
Young people have responded, as they always have, by searching out the latest way to stay ahead in the race for technological know-how and cool. They use Twitter, which allows blogging from one's mobile phone or BlackBerry, or Hulu.com, a site where they can download videos and TV programs.
They customize their cell phones with various faceplates and ringtones. And, sometimes, they find ways to exclude adults — using high-frequency ringtones that teens can hear but most adults can't, for instance.
Nowhere are the technological turf wars more apparent than on social networking sites, such as MySpace and Facebook, which went from being student-oriented to allowing adults outside the college ranks to join.
Gary Rudman, a California-based youth market researcher, has heard the complaints. He regularly interviews young people who think it's "creepy" when an older person — we're talking someone they know — asks to join their social network as a "friend." It means, among other things, that they can view each others' profiles and what they and their friends post.
"It would be like a 40-year-old attending the prom or a frat party," Rudman says. "It just doesn't work."
It's a particular quandary for image-conscious teens, says Eric Kuhn, a junior at Hamilton College in upstate New York, who's blogged about the etiquette of social networking.
He accepted his mom's invitation to be Facebook friends and has, in turn, become online friends with other adults she knows. But so far, he says, his 16-year-old sister has declined to add their mom "because she thinks it is not cool."
Lakeshia Poole, a 24-year-old from Atlanta, says "my Facebook self has become a watered down version of me." Worried about older adults snooping around, she's now more careful about what she posts and has also made her profile private, so only her online friends can see it.
"It's somewhat a Catch-22, because now I'm hidden from the people I would really like to connect with," she says.
Lauren Auster-Gussman, a freshman at Juniata College in Pennsylvania, says it's particularly awkward when one of her parents' friends asks to join her social network. She thinks Facebook should only be used by people younger than, say, 40.
"I mean, I'm in college," she says. "There are bound to be at least a few drunken pictures of me on Facebook, and I don't need my parents' friends seeing them."
There are ways around the problem.
It's possible on some sites, for instance, to limit what someone can see on your profile, though some users think it's a pain to have to deal with that.
"That is the beauty of Facebook and other online social networks. If you want to only interact with your peers, then you can adjust the settings to only allow that," says Katie Jones, a senior at Ohio Wesleyan University, who's studied ways prospective students use Facebook to contact students at colleges and universities they're interested in attending.
It's also possible to simply decline or ignore an adult's request to be an online friend. Or adults could back off and only use social networking to contact their own peers.
But it's not always so easy to relinquish that control, especially for parents of teens, says Kathryn Montgomery, the author of "Generation Digital: Politics, Commerce and Childhood in the Age of the Internet" and mother of a 14-year-old.
"As parents, we have to figure out where to draw the line between encouraging and allowing our teens to have autonomy, to experience their separate culture, and when we need to monitor their use of media," says Montgomery, a professor of communication at American University.
She says it's especially important to help young people understand that social networking is often more public than they think. Sometimes monitoring them is the best way to do that.
Sue Frownfelter, a 46-year-old mom in Flint, Mich., thinks it's less of an issue for parents who discover technology with — or even before — their children. Among other things, she has a blog, uses Twitter and has a Chumby, a personal Internet device that displays anything from news and weather to photos and eBay auctions.
Her children, ages 9 and 11, begged her to allow them to have a MySpace page, because she does. Instead, she suggested Imbee.com, a social networking site for kids that allows parental monitoring.
"I can't imagine my life without technology! It has truly become an extension of who I am and who my family will likely be," says Frownfelter, who works at a community college.
Still, in today's world, parents are finding that the urge to stake out technological turf is starting at a very young age.
Jennifer Abelson, a mom in New York, says her 2-year-old daughter asks every day if she can play on the "'puter" on such kid-oriented sites as Noggin.com and Nickjr.com.
"She's constantly telling us 'I will do it!' and 'Go away!' if we try to interfere with her 'working,'" Abelson says.
"It's pretty amazing to see technology ingrained at such a young age. But I know she's learned so much from being able to use technology on her own."
Martha Irvine is an AP national writer. She can be reached at mirvine(at)ap.org or via http://myspace.com/irvineap
Saturday, January 05, 2008
particularly sick
I'm not a fan of cats, I have an allergy to them. Given a choice between a dog or a cat, I'll pick a dog everytime. Having said that, I wouldn't wish this on any cat, allergies or not.
Teens charged with microwaving cat to death
Four teenagers from the Edmonton area have been charged with breaking into a house and killing a cat in a microwave.
Police in Camrose, southeast of Edmonton, say a home was broken into twice while the owners were away for the holidays last month.
During the second break-in, a cat from the home was put into the microwave and then cooked to death, Insp. Lee Foreman said.
Four teens between the ages of 13 and 15 have been charged with several offences including breaking and entering, theft and unlawfully killing an animal. They are scheduled to appear in a Camrose court on Feb. 7.
None of the teens lives at the home or is related to the owners, Foreman said.
"I've been policing for over 25 years and I've never encountered anything quite like this," he said. "It's very disturbing. It's especially sad given the season."
A family friend who was looking after the house while the owners were gone found the dead cat in the microwave.
Teens charged with microwaving cat to death
Four teenagers from the Edmonton area have been charged with breaking into a house and killing a cat in a microwave.
Police in Camrose, southeast of Edmonton, say a home was broken into twice while the owners were away for the holidays last month.
During the second break-in, a cat from the home was put into the microwave and then cooked to death, Insp. Lee Foreman said.
Four teens between the ages of 13 and 15 have been charged with several offences including breaking and entering, theft and unlawfully killing an animal. They are scheduled to appear in a Camrose court on Feb. 7.
None of the teens lives at the home or is related to the owners, Foreman said.
"I've been policing for over 25 years and I've never encountered anything quite like this," he said. "It's very disturbing. It's especially sad given the season."
A family friend who was looking after the house while the owners were gone found the dead cat in the microwave.
Monday, December 10, 2007
on dyslexics
I thought that this article was really really really interesting, particularly because Mark is dyslexic and has almost always been self-employed or done independent-contractor type work throughout his career.
Tracing Business Acumen to Dyslexia
By BRENT BOWERS
It has long been known that dyslexics are drawn to running their own businesses, where they can get around their weaknesses in reading and writing and play on their strengths. But a new study of entrepreneurs in the United States suggests that dyslexia is much more common among small-business owners than even the experts had thought.
The report, compiled by Julie Logan, a professor of entrepreneurship at the Cass Business School in London, found that more than a third of the entrepreneurs she had surveyed — 35 percent — identified themselves as dyslexic. The study also concluded that dyslexics were more likely than nondyslexics to delegate authority, to excel in oral communication and problem solving and were twice as likely to own two or more businesses.
“We found that dyslexics who succeed had overcome an awful lot in their lives by developing compensatory skills,” Professor Logan said in an interview. “If you tell your friends and acquaintances that you plan to start a business, you’ll hear over and over, ‘It won’t work. It can’t be done.’ But dyslexics are extraordinarily creative about maneuvering their way around problems.”
The study was based on a survey of 139 business owners in a wide range of fields across the United States. Professor Logan called the number who said they were dyslexic “staggering,” and said it was significantly higher than the 20 percent of British entrepreneurs who said they were dyslexic in a poll she conducted in 2001.
She attributed the greater share in the United States to earlier and more effective intervention by American schools to help dyslexic students deal with their learning problems. Approximately 10 percent of Americans are believed to have dyslexia, experts say.
One reason that dyslexics are drawn to entrepreneurship, Professor Logan said, is that strategies they have used since childhood to offset their weaknesses in written communication and organizational ability — identifying trustworthy people and handing over major responsibilities to them — can be applied to businesses.
“The willingness to delegate authority gives them a significant advantage over nondyslexic entrepreneurs, who tend to view their business as their baby and like to be in total control,” she said.
William J. Dennis Jr., senior research fellow at the Research Foundation of the National Federation of Independent Business, a trade group in Washington, said the study’s results “fit into the pattern of what we know about small-business owners.”
“Entrepreneurs are hands-on people who push a minimum of paper, do lots of stuff orally instead of reading and writing, and delegate authority, all of which suggests a high verbal facility,” Mr. Dennis said. “Compare that with corporate managers who read, read, read.”
Indeed, according to Professor Logan, only 1 percent of corporate managers in the United States have dyslexia.
Much has been written about the link between dyslexia and entrepreneurial success. Fortune Magazine, for example, ran a cover story five years ago about dyslexic business leaders, including Richard Branson, founder of Virgin Atlantic Airways; Charles R. Schwab, founder of the discount brokerage firm that bears his name; John T. Chambers, chief executive of Cisco; and Paul Orfalea, founder of the Kinko’s copy chain.
Similarly, Rosalie P. Fink, a professor at Lesley College in Cambridge, Mass., wrote a paper in 1998 on 60 highly accomplished people with dyslexia.
But Professor Logan said hers was the first study that she knew of that tried to measure the percentage of entrepreneurs who have dyslexia. Carl Schramm, president of the Kauffman Foundation, which financed the research, agreed. He said the findings were surprising but, he said, there was no previous baseline to measure it against.
Emerson Dickman , president of the International Dyslexia Association in Baltimore and a lawyer in Maywood, N.J., said the study’s findings “just make sense.”
“Individuals who have difficulty reading and writing tend to deploy other strengths,” Mr. Dickman, who has dyslexia, said. “They rely on mentors, and as a result, become very good at reading other people and delegating duties to them. They become adept at using visual strengths to solve problems.”
Mr. Orfalea, 60, who left Kinko’s — now FedEx Kinko’s — seven years ago, and who now dabbles in a hodgepodge of business undertakings, is almost proud of having dyslexia and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.
“I get bored easily, and that is a great motivator,” he said. “I think everybody should have dyslexia and A.D.D.”
He attributes his success to his difficulty with reading and writing because it forced him to master verbal communication.
“I didn’t have a lot of self-confidence as a kid,” he said. “And that is for the good. If you have a healthy dose of rejection in your life, you are going to have to figure out how to do it your way.”
He said his biggest advantage was his realization that because of his many inadequacies, he had to delegate important tasks to subordinates. “My motto is: Anybody else can do anything better than me,” he said.
Danny Kessler, 26, also has dyslexia and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Mr. Kessler founded Angels with Attitude, which holds seminars for women on self-defense. He is a co-founder of Club E Network (www.clubenetwork.com), which sponsors “networking events,” runs an online chat room for entrepreneurs and produces television shows about them.
Like Mr. Orfalea, he said he had low self-esteem as a child, and now views that as a catapult into the entrepreneurial world. “I told myself I would never be a lawyer or a doctor,” he said. “But I wanted to make a lot of money. And I knew business was the only way I was going to do it.”
In high school, Mr. Kessler said, “I became cool with the teachers. I developed a rapport with them. I was able to convince almost all of them to nudge my grade up just a bit. I adopted a strategy for squeezing through the system.”
As for the importance of entrusting tasks to others, Mr. Kessler says his limitations have endowed him with a “razor sharp” intuition that allows him to ascertain within minutes of meeting people whether he can depend on them and what they would be good at in an organization.
Drew Devitt, 45, who also has dyslexia, said he started Thoughtware Products in college to produce videos for real estate brokers. Today, he runs a successful $9 million company in Aston, Pa., called New Way Air Bearings that makes bearings for precision machine tools.
Asked about mentors, Mr. Devitt ticks off a list, and it is a long one, beginning with his parents, who sold imported bearing materials out of their home.
Indirectly, he confirmed that he gives free rein to his deputies. Asked about the claim on his company’s Web site that it is a “market leader,” he sighed. “That’s not something I would say,” he said. “Actually, it’s baloney. But that’s what our marketing people came up with. You can’t do everything. You have to let people do their job.”
Tracing Business Acumen to Dyslexia
By BRENT BOWERS
It has long been known that dyslexics are drawn to running their own businesses, where they can get around their weaknesses in reading and writing and play on their strengths. But a new study of entrepreneurs in the United States suggests that dyslexia is much more common among small-business owners than even the experts had thought.
The report, compiled by Julie Logan, a professor of entrepreneurship at the Cass Business School in London, found that more than a third of the entrepreneurs she had surveyed — 35 percent — identified themselves as dyslexic. The study also concluded that dyslexics were more likely than nondyslexics to delegate authority, to excel in oral communication and problem solving and were twice as likely to own two or more businesses.
“We found that dyslexics who succeed had overcome an awful lot in their lives by developing compensatory skills,” Professor Logan said in an interview. “If you tell your friends and acquaintances that you plan to start a business, you’ll hear over and over, ‘It won’t work. It can’t be done.’ But dyslexics are extraordinarily creative about maneuvering their way around problems.”
The study was based on a survey of 139 business owners in a wide range of fields across the United States. Professor Logan called the number who said they were dyslexic “staggering,” and said it was significantly higher than the 20 percent of British entrepreneurs who said they were dyslexic in a poll she conducted in 2001.
She attributed the greater share in the United States to earlier and more effective intervention by American schools to help dyslexic students deal with their learning problems. Approximately 10 percent of Americans are believed to have dyslexia, experts say.
One reason that dyslexics are drawn to entrepreneurship, Professor Logan said, is that strategies they have used since childhood to offset their weaknesses in written communication and organizational ability — identifying trustworthy people and handing over major responsibilities to them — can be applied to businesses.
“The willingness to delegate authority gives them a significant advantage over nondyslexic entrepreneurs, who tend to view their business as their baby and like to be in total control,” she said.
William J. Dennis Jr., senior research fellow at the Research Foundation of the National Federation of Independent Business, a trade group in Washington, said the study’s results “fit into the pattern of what we know about small-business owners.”
“Entrepreneurs are hands-on people who push a minimum of paper, do lots of stuff orally instead of reading and writing, and delegate authority, all of which suggests a high verbal facility,” Mr. Dennis said. “Compare that with corporate managers who read, read, read.”
Indeed, according to Professor Logan, only 1 percent of corporate managers in the United States have dyslexia.
Much has been written about the link between dyslexia and entrepreneurial success. Fortune Magazine, for example, ran a cover story five years ago about dyslexic business leaders, including Richard Branson, founder of Virgin Atlantic Airways; Charles R. Schwab, founder of the discount brokerage firm that bears his name; John T. Chambers, chief executive of Cisco; and Paul Orfalea, founder of the Kinko’s copy chain.
Similarly, Rosalie P. Fink, a professor at Lesley College in Cambridge, Mass., wrote a paper in 1998 on 60 highly accomplished people with dyslexia.
But Professor Logan said hers was the first study that she knew of that tried to measure the percentage of entrepreneurs who have dyslexia. Carl Schramm, president of the Kauffman Foundation, which financed the research, agreed. He said the findings were surprising but, he said, there was no previous baseline to measure it against.
Emerson Dickman , president of the International Dyslexia Association in Baltimore and a lawyer in Maywood, N.J., said the study’s findings “just make sense.”
“Individuals who have difficulty reading and writing tend to deploy other strengths,” Mr. Dickman, who has dyslexia, said. “They rely on mentors, and as a result, become very good at reading other people and delegating duties to them. They become adept at using visual strengths to solve problems.”
Mr. Orfalea, 60, who left Kinko’s — now FedEx Kinko’s — seven years ago, and who now dabbles in a hodgepodge of business undertakings, is almost proud of having dyslexia and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.
“I get bored easily, and that is a great motivator,” he said. “I think everybody should have dyslexia and A.D.D.”
He attributes his success to his difficulty with reading and writing because it forced him to master verbal communication.
“I didn’t have a lot of self-confidence as a kid,” he said. “And that is for the good. If you have a healthy dose of rejection in your life, you are going to have to figure out how to do it your way.”
He said his biggest advantage was his realization that because of his many inadequacies, he had to delegate important tasks to subordinates. “My motto is: Anybody else can do anything better than me,” he said.
Danny Kessler, 26, also has dyslexia and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Mr. Kessler founded Angels with Attitude, which holds seminars for women on self-defense. He is a co-founder of Club E Network (www.clubenetwork.com), which sponsors “networking events,” runs an online chat room for entrepreneurs and produces television shows about them.
Like Mr. Orfalea, he said he had low self-esteem as a child, and now views that as a catapult into the entrepreneurial world. “I told myself I would never be a lawyer or a doctor,” he said. “But I wanted to make a lot of money. And I knew business was the only way I was going to do it.”
In high school, Mr. Kessler said, “I became cool with the teachers. I developed a rapport with them. I was able to convince almost all of them to nudge my grade up just a bit. I adopted a strategy for squeezing through the system.”
As for the importance of entrusting tasks to others, Mr. Kessler says his limitations have endowed him with a “razor sharp” intuition that allows him to ascertain within minutes of meeting people whether he can depend on them and what they would be good at in an organization.
Drew Devitt, 45, who also has dyslexia, said he started Thoughtware Products in college to produce videos for real estate brokers. Today, he runs a successful $9 million company in Aston, Pa., called New Way Air Bearings that makes bearings for precision machine tools.
Asked about mentors, Mr. Devitt ticks off a list, and it is a long one, beginning with his parents, who sold imported bearing materials out of their home.
Indirectly, he confirmed that he gives free rein to his deputies. Asked about the claim on his company’s Web site that it is a “market leader,” he sighed. “That’s not something I would say,” he said. “Actually, it’s baloney. But that’s what our marketing people came up with. You can’t do everything. You have to let people do their job.”
Friday, December 07, 2007
good news for kids
I was happy to see this. Mark and I both get really peeved when we see folks driving around with kids in the car, smoking. It's a step in the right direction I think!
MPP bill calls for smoking ban in cars with minors
The Canadian Press
Ontario was under growing pressure Thursday to become the first province to ban smoking in cars containing young passengers as health advocates rallied around a private member's bill that would outlaw a practice critics liken to child abuse.
Although Premier Dalton McGuinty has said such a ban would be a dangerously slippery slope, health activists say the likelihood of children developing cancer, asthma and heart problems is good enough reason to force people to butt out after they buckle up.
"Second-hand smoke is a killer," said Rocco Rossi, CEO of the Heart and Stroke Foundation. "Therefore we should be protecting our children from it."
Jurisdictions in the United States, Australia and the town of Wolfville, N.S., have all banned smoking in cars where children are present. In British Columbia, a New Democrat politician tabled a private member's bill last month that would also ban the practice.
The private member's legislation being introduced Thursday by Liberal David Orazietti faces a steep battle, since such bills rarely become law unless they are adopted by the government.
Ontario has already banned smoking from bars, restaurants and workplaces, Rossi said. Protecting children in cars from second-hand smoke is a "natural" next step, he said.
"We already regulate in the car - we require seatbelts and child seats to protect our children," he said. "We're not breaking new ground. We're not going down a slippery slope, because the state is already in the car."
Michael Perley of the Ontario Coalition for Action on Tobacco said the province already has all kinds of other laws protecting children from abuse, so a ban on smoking in cars with kids should be no different.
"These are very young people who are not in a position, in that environment, to do anything to protect themselves," Perley said.
"They can't stand up and step out of the car at 60 miles an hour. The youngest ones aren't even in a position to know that anything bad is being done to them."
Health experts say second-hand smoke is extremely detrimental to a child's health - particularly in a car. Cynthia Callard, executive director of Physicians for a Smoke-Free Canada, said smoking one cigarette in a car is worse for a child's health than taking them into the smokiest bar.
The exposure can cause a whole host of illnesses, from ear infections to cancer, she said.
"Parents do not have a blanket right to harm their children, and putting a child in a car with smoke is certainly harming the child," said Callard, adding areas that have brought in a ban have seen people voluntarily obey the law.
The government's reluctance to adopt a ban seems to say that the Liberals are more concerned about interfering with parents that they are about the health of children, she added.
Irene Gallagher, with the Ontario division of the Canadian Cancer Society, said it would be nice if parents voluntarily refrained from smoking around their kids or kicked the habit altogether.
"We feel that when they buckle up, they should butt out," she said. "They should be thinking about the effects of second-hand smoke."
But until that happens, Gallagher said children need to be protected in law.
MPP bill calls for smoking ban in cars with minors
The Canadian Press
Ontario was under growing pressure Thursday to become the first province to ban smoking in cars containing young passengers as health advocates rallied around a private member's bill that would outlaw a practice critics liken to child abuse.
Although Premier Dalton McGuinty has said such a ban would be a dangerously slippery slope, health activists say the likelihood of children developing cancer, asthma and heart problems is good enough reason to force people to butt out after they buckle up.
"Second-hand smoke is a killer," said Rocco Rossi, CEO of the Heart and Stroke Foundation. "Therefore we should be protecting our children from it."
Jurisdictions in the United States, Australia and the town of Wolfville, N.S., have all banned smoking in cars where children are present. In British Columbia, a New Democrat politician tabled a private member's bill last month that would also ban the practice.
The private member's legislation being introduced Thursday by Liberal David Orazietti faces a steep battle, since such bills rarely become law unless they are adopted by the government.
Ontario has already banned smoking from bars, restaurants and workplaces, Rossi said. Protecting children in cars from second-hand smoke is a "natural" next step, he said.
"We already regulate in the car - we require seatbelts and child seats to protect our children," he said. "We're not breaking new ground. We're not going down a slippery slope, because the state is already in the car."
Michael Perley of the Ontario Coalition for Action on Tobacco said the province already has all kinds of other laws protecting children from abuse, so a ban on smoking in cars with kids should be no different.
"These are very young people who are not in a position, in that environment, to do anything to protect themselves," Perley said.
"They can't stand up and step out of the car at 60 miles an hour. The youngest ones aren't even in a position to know that anything bad is being done to them."
Health experts say second-hand smoke is extremely detrimental to a child's health - particularly in a car. Cynthia Callard, executive director of Physicians for a Smoke-Free Canada, said smoking one cigarette in a car is worse for a child's health than taking them into the smokiest bar.
The exposure can cause a whole host of illnesses, from ear infections to cancer, she said.
"Parents do not have a blanket right to harm their children, and putting a child in a car with smoke is certainly harming the child," said Callard, adding areas that have brought in a ban have seen people voluntarily obey the law.
The government's reluctance to adopt a ban seems to say that the Liberals are more concerned about interfering with parents that they are about the health of children, she added.
Irene Gallagher, with the Ontario division of the Canadian Cancer Society, said it would be nice if parents voluntarily refrained from smoking around their kids or kicked the habit altogether.
"We feel that when they buckle up, they should butt out," she said. "They should be thinking about the effects of second-hand smoke."
But until that happens, Gallagher said children need to be protected in law.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
relative choices
I have a few friends who have either adopted children or who are in the process of adopting a child or who are adopted themselves. I saw this on the New York Times website this morning and enjoyed it. I really like Tama Janowitz too, which is what drew me to the article in the first place. The relative choices blog can be found here: http://relativechoices.blogs.nytimes.com/
The Real Thing
By Tama Janowitz
My husband Tim and I adopted our daughter Willow, who is now 12, from China when she was 9 months old. We were told by the adoption agency that once the process was complete and the three of us were back home, many people would stop to inquire about our daughter’s Mongolian features or why she did not look like us.
It may be that having a child of a different ethnic background from yourself is more difficult in other parts of the country. And certainly that may lead to problems. But In my neighborhood in Brooklyn I see black women with half-Asian, half-black kids and I see kids with dark skin and blond hair — the mother is white, the father is not.
There are Indian fathers and Caucasian mothers with their offspring. There are families with two dads. There are also Hasidic families with ten kids and Muslim women dressed in full burkas who have dressed their daughters the same way.
So here in New York City, we haven’t attracted too much attention.
Well, O.K., sometimes.
It is true when she was a baby, if I took her out on my own, sometimes people did ask me, “Is the father Chinese?” If I said “yes” the usual response was “Good for you!” This puzzled me, so then I just said, “Either Chinese, or some black dude – who can remember?”
But as always, if you don’t have one kind of problem, you will automatically be given another.
There are more than enough for seconds! Even fifths!
One thing I figure, whether adopted, mixed race, religious, non-religious, whether your child is biological, whether you send her to Hebrew school or piano lessons – there is no one who does not resent his or her parents, We all have this in common.
Indeed, it may be what makes us human.
Everyone feels they are doing the best possible job as a parent. But apart from the most obvious types of abuse, there is little that is clear-cut in regard to child rearing. Some discipline their kids and refuse to allow them to go to school dressed in a tutu. Others allow them to eat McDonald’s. Even if your house is tidy, this could be a mistake in child-rearing! So could being a vegetarian! Or serving meat!
A girlfriend who is now on the waiting list for a child from Ethiopia says that the talk of her adoption group is a recently published book in which many Midwestern Asian adoptees now entering their 30s and 40s complain bitterly about being treated as if they did not come from a different cultural background. They feel that this treatment was an attempt to blot out their differences, and because of this, they resent their adoptive parents.
So in a way it is kind of nice to know as a parent of a child, biological or otherwise – whatever you do is going to be wrong. Like I say to Willow: “Well, you know, if you were still in China you would be working in a factory for 14 hours a day with only limited bathroom breaks!”
And she says — as has been said by children since time immemorial — “So what, I don’t care. I would rather do that than be here anyway.”
My friend has a biological kid who said one day, “I hate you.” She cried and cried and told the child how deeply hurt she was.
I have heard those words, too, and my child is not biological. Like, I care? Hate me or love me, I am her mother and she knows it and since she is not getting a reaction out of me she almost immediately revises her opinion.
Is it my fault she is still angry because I kept coming home with another dog? I would have been thrilled, if I was a kid, to have six poodles! How was I supposed to know she would turn out to be the type who didn’t like dogs? And she says even if she did like dogs, she only likes mixed breeds!
“You should keep a list of everything I’ve done to you,” I have often suggested, “That way, later, you can read it to your therapist. Otherwise you might forget.”
Sometimes I think, Well, maybe I should be more of a disciplinarian. But what am I going to do, lock her in her room? She has an ensuite bath, a computer, cell phone and a game boy and if I say, I will take those away she says, “So what, who cares?”
Same with TV privileges. “Go watch TV!” I tell her.
“No, I don’t want to.”
“You will watch TV, young lady.” It’s no use.
I know that there are some women who have given birth who believe that the type of love they have for their child is more intense, more real, than the love I have for my kid, because they hatched it themselves. This argument makes no sense to me. After all, the fathers (until recently) never could be sure that it was their sperm that made them the dad.
You might as well say, “Listen, Daddy-O, you had ten minutes max of involvement in the creation biz, and you didn’t even get to pre-approve the winning sperm, And if your kid is the product of the fastest sperm in the bunch, that is just plain pitiful. How could you care about the child?”
However I would no more say this than ask someone with a baby if they were certain the father was human.
I also know women who never really bonded with their kid – biological, or adopted.
I figure, Willow, she’s my kid, she just got here differently. I don’t remember floating around in my mother’s womb, or coming out of the vaginal canal – but I still know that person is my mother, even if she is a little off.
And my kid knows I’m her real mother.
Not biological, but real. It doesn’t get any realer than this.
The Real Thing
By Tama Janowitz
My husband Tim and I adopted our daughter Willow, who is now 12, from China when she was 9 months old. We were told by the adoption agency that once the process was complete and the three of us were back home, many people would stop to inquire about our daughter’s Mongolian features or why she did not look like us.
It may be that having a child of a different ethnic background from yourself is more difficult in other parts of the country. And certainly that may lead to problems. But In my neighborhood in Brooklyn I see black women with half-Asian, half-black kids and I see kids with dark skin and blond hair — the mother is white, the father is not.
There are Indian fathers and Caucasian mothers with their offspring. There are families with two dads. There are also Hasidic families with ten kids and Muslim women dressed in full burkas who have dressed their daughters the same way.
So here in New York City, we haven’t attracted too much attention.
Well, O.K., sometimes.
It is true when she was a baby, if I took her out on my own, sometimes people did ask me, “Is the father Chinese?” If I said “yes” the usual response was “Good for you!” This puzzled me, so then I just said, “Either Chinese, or some black dude – who can remember?”
But as always, if you don’t have one kind of problem, you will automatically be given another.
There are more than enough for seconds! Even fifths!
One thing I figure, whether adopted, mixed race, religious, non-religious, whether your child is biological, whether you send her to Hebrew school or piano lessons – there is no one who does not resent his or her parents, We all have this in common.
Indeed, it may be what makes us human.
Everyone feels they are doing the best possible job as a parent. But apart from the most obvious types of abuse, there is little that is clear-cut in regard to child rearing. Some discipline their kids and refuse to allow them to go to school dressed in a tutu. Others allow them to eat McDonald’s. Even if your house is tidy, this could be a mistake in child-rearing! So could being a vegetarian! Or serving meat!
A girlfriend who is now on the waiting list for a child from Ethiopia says that the talk of her adoption group is a recently published book in which many Midwestern Asian adoptees now entering their 30s and 40s complain bitterly about being treated as if they did not come from a different cultural background. They feel that this treatment was an attempt to blot out their differences, and because of this, they resent their adoptive parents.
So in a way it is kind of nice to know as a parent of a child, biological or otherwise – whatever you do is going to be wrong. Like I say to Willow: “Well, you know, if you were still in China you would be working in a factory for 14 hours a day with only limited bathroom breaks!”
And she says — as has been said by children since time immemorial — “So what, I don’t care. I would rather do that than be here anyway.”
My friend has a biological kid who said one day, “I hate you.” She cried and cried and told the child how deeply hurt she was.
I have heard those words, too, and my child is not biological. Like, I care? Hate me or love me, I am her mother and she knows it and since she is not getting a reaction out of me she almost immediately revises her opinion.
Is it my fault she is still angry because I kept coming home with another dog? I would have been thrilled, if I was a kid, to have six poodles! How was I supposed to know she would turn out to be the type who didn’t like dogs? And she says even if she did like dogs, she only likes mixed breeds!
“You should keep a list of everything I’ve done to you,” I have often suggested, “That way, later, you can read it to your therapist. Otherwise you might forget.”
Sometimes I think, Well, maybe I should be more of a disciplinarian. But what am I going to do, lock her in her room? She has an ensuite bath, a computer, cell phone and a game boy and if I say, I will take those away she says, “So what, who cares?”
Same with TV privileges. “Go watch TV!” I tell her.
“No, I don’t want to.”
“You will watch TV, young lady.” It’s no use.
I know that there are some women who have given birth who believe that the type of love they have for their child is more intense, more real, than the love I have for my kid, because they hatched it themselves. This argument makes no sense to me. After all, the fathers (until recently) never could be sure that it was their sperm that made them the dad.
You might as well say, “Listen, Daddy-O, you had ten minutes max of involvement in the creation biz, and you didn’t even get to pre-approve the winning sperm, And if your kid is the product of the fastest sperm in the bunch, that is just plain pitiful. How could you care about the child?”
However I would no more say this than ask someone with a baby if they were certain the father was human.
I also know women who never really bonded with their kid – biological, or adopted.
I figure, Willow, she’s my kid, she just got here differently. I don’t remember floating around in my mother’s womb, or coming out of the vaginal canal – but I still know that person is my mother, even if she is a little off.
And my kid knows I’m her real mother.
Not biological, but real. It doesn’t get any realer than this.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
disappointed
I checked my work email from home this morning and realized that as shitty as I still felt, I had to drag my butt into the office. Fortunately, the big last minute project that was waiting for me came with some help from my awesome co-workers. All day though, I was either freezing cold or really warm. I don't think I'm quite over this bug yet.
When we got home tonight, the construction guys had actually poured the concrete for our new sidewalk. They did not, however, leave us with a path to get into our yard. It rained again today and our street is completely covered with muck. We had to walk up to where they were pouring and cross onto a neighbour's lawn, in the middle of them working. Not good. It seems odd to me that they couldn't put a board down for folks to walk into their own homes. I will be so glad when this is over.
In other not so good news, I read this when I got home and was disappointed and disgusted but not entirely surprised. Stupid people suck.
Man Arrested In GA For Tying Noose Around Tupac Statue
By Roman Wolfe
Police in De Kalb County, Georgia have arrested one individual and are investigating a series of racial attacks at the Tupac Amaru Shakur Center for the Arts, after vandals tied a noose around the neck of a bronze statue of slain rapper, Tupac Shakur.
According to police, the first incident occurred early Saturday morning (October 20), when vandals defaced the building and tied a noose around the neck of the statue of Shakur, which is located in the center's Peace Garden.
A second attack also occurred on the statue of Shakur, when vandals drew crosses and wrote rants about Hurricane Katrina and various record labels.
The attacks are being investigated as hate crimes by the De Kalb County Sheriff's Office and police are seeking additional suspects.
"We thank everyone for their prayers and support," Tupac's mother Afeni Shakur said. "Although our hearts are temporarily in pain, our spirits have already forgiven the perpetrators. Hate comes in all colors and genders therefore we will use this act of hate and ignorance to bring our community together and to pray for the healing of those who harbor such feelings."
Due to the attacks, the Tupac Amaru Shakur Foundation (TASF) recently began fundraising efforts to construct a fence around the parameters of the Center to secure the property.
"With God's guidance, the work of the Tupac Amaru Shakur Center for the Arts and Peace Garden will continue to positively impact and transform our community," Shakur added.
On Saturday, November 10/4, TASF will host its 2nd Bi-Annual Film Screening with a rededication service of the Peace Garden.
The event is free to the public.
Donations to help erect the fence to protect the TASF can be sent to: TASF, 5616 Memorial Drive, Stone Mountain, GA 30083 or at http://www.tasf.org/ and http://www.2paclegacy.com/
When we got home tonight, the construction guys had actually poured the concrete for our new sidewalk. They did not, however, leave us with a path to get into our yard. It rained again today and our street is completely covered with muck. We had to walk up to where they were pouring and cross onto a neighbour's lawn, in the middle of them working. Not good. It seems odd to me that they couldn't put a board down for folks to walk into their own homes. I will be so glad when this is over.
In other not so good news, I read this when I got home and was disappointed and disgusted but not entirely surprised. Stupid people suck.
Man Arrested In GA For Tying Noose Around Tupac Statue
By Roman Wolfe
Police in De Kalb County, Georgia have arrested one individual and are investigating a series of racial attacks at the Tupac Amaru Shakur Center for the Arts, after vandals tied a noose around the neck of a bronze statue of slain rapper, Tupac Shakur.
According to police, the first incident occurred early Saturday morning (October 20), when vandals defaced the building and tied a noose around the neck of the statue of Shakur, which is located in the center's Peace Garden.
A second attack also occurred on the statue of Shakur, when vandals drew crosses and wrote rants about Hurricane Katrina and various record labels.
The attacks are being investigated as hate crimes by the De Kalb County Sheriff's Office and police are seeking additional suspects.
"We thank everyone for their prayers and support," Tupac's mother Afeni Shakur said. "Although our hearts are temporarily in pain, our spirits have already forgiven the perpetrators. Hate comes in all colors and genders therefore we will use this act of hate and ignorance to bring our community together and to pray for the healing of those who harbor such feelings."
Due to the attacks, the Tupac Amaru Shakur Foundation (TASF) recently began fundraising efforts to construct a fence around the parameters of the Center to secure the property.
"With God's guidance, the work of the Tupac Amaru Shakur Center for the Arts and Peace Garden will continue to positively impact and transform our community," Shakur added.
On Saturday, November 10/4, TASF will host its 2nd Bi-Annual Film Screening with a rededication service of the Peace Garden.
The event is free to the public.
Donations to help erect the fence to protect the TASF can be sent to: TASF, 5616 Memorial Drive, Stone Mountain, GA 30083 or at http://www.tasf.org/ and http://www.2paclegacy.com/
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
mid week musings
As the week moves along and I get further away from the weekend, I feel better and better. Part of the reason I'm feeling better today (and this may sound quite petty but hey, that's who I am) is because I actually got to witness a little "instant karma" this afternoon. I can't really get into too many details because the details aren't important. The situation is a little bit ironic and, to paraphrase Bart Simpson, "the ironing is delicious."
At the beginning of this week, I thought that I may be able to book off Thursday and Friday as lieu for working last weekend. It's not looking like that will happen but I'm really okay with that. It'll be nice and quiet in the office, I'll have (hopefully) a couple of relaxing, productive days, and the coming weekend will be work free for the first time in weeks.
Anyway, I came across this afternoon. It's from the NY Times website...yet another reason to avoid this particular big box store:
10, 000 Employees' Data on Stolen Laptop
By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
BOSTON (AP) -- The Home Depot Inc. said Wednesday that a laptop computer containing about 10,000 employees' personal data was stolen from a regional manager's car in Massachusetts.
The computer, which was password protected, didn't contain any customer information, said Ron DeFeo, a spokesman for Atlanta-based Home Depot, the world's largest home improvement store chain. He would not say whether the information had been encrypted.
The regional manager recently reported that the laptop was stolen from his car while it was parked outside his home, DeFeo said. He declined to name the town where the theft occurred. Police were investigating.
The laptop contained names, home addresses and Social Security numbers of certain Home Depot employees, most in the Northeast, DeFeo said.
''We have no reason to believe that the data contained on the laptop was the target of theft, or that any personal information was accessed or used improperly,'' DeFeo said.
Home Depot, which has about 350,000 employees, notified the 10,000 affected workers of the theft in a letter and was arranging free credit-monitoring services for them.
The manager violated company policy by leaving a laptop with personal information in his car, DeFeo said. He wouldn't say whether the employee was disciplined.
At the beginning of this week, I thought that I may be able to book off Thursday and Friday as lieu for working last weekend. It's not looking like that will happen but I'm really okay with that. It'll be nice and quiet in the office, I'll have (hopefully) a couple of relaxing, productive days, and the coming weekend will be work free for the first time in weeks.
Anyway, I came across this afternoon. It's from the NY Times website...yet another reason to avoid this particular big box store:
10, 000 Employees' Data on Stolen Laptop
By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
BOSTON (AP) -- The Home Depot Inc. said Wednesday that a laptop computer containing about 10,000 employees' personal data was stolen from a regional manager's car in Massachusetts.
The computer, which was password protected, didn't contain any customer information, said Ron DeFeo, a spokesman for Atlanta-based Home Depot, the world's largest home improvement store chain. He would not say whether the information had been encrypted.
The regional manager recently reported that the laptop was stolen from his car while it was parked outside his home, DeFeo said. He declined to name the town where the theft occurred. Police were investigating.
The laptop contained names, home addresses and Social Security numbers of certain Home Depot employees, most in the Northeast, DeFeo said.
''We have no reason to believe that the data contained on the laptop was the target of theft, or that any personal information was accessed or used improperly,'' DeFeo said.
Home Depot, which has about 350,000 employees, notified the 10,000 affected workers of the theft in a letter and was arranging free credit-monitoring services for them.
The manager violated company policy by leaving a laptop with personal information in his car, DeFeo said. He wouldn't say whether the employee was disciplined.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
you know that things are bad when...
folks who write for gossipy papers or blogs compare you to a "young courtney love."
step right up folks, and see the next train wreck...
vomit on gucci you say, pity.
seriously though, can you spell "S P O I L E D B R A T S"?
it all seems just a smidgen contrived and ridiculous to me.
I guess by comparison, my day wasn't so bad. I can't imagine how horrible I would feel if I actually owned something by gucci and then I had the bad timing to hurl all over it.
It's incredible to me that they even bother covering the war in Iraq on the news when they can share stories about puking pop princesses and Disney girls DUI.
step right up folks, and see the next train wreck...
vomit on gucci you say, pity.
seriously though, can you spell "S P O I L E D B R A T S"?
it all seems just a smidgen contrived and ridiculous to me.
I guess by comparison, my day wasn't so bad. I can't imagine how horrible I would feel if I actually owned something by gucci and then I had the bad timing to hurl all over it.
It's incredible to me that they even bother covering the war in Iraq on the news when they can share stories about puking pop princesses and Disney girls DUI.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
not very bloggy
I haven't felt much like posting here over the past few days. I probably should have though, to at least get a record of how I've been feeling down. Unfortunately, I've been overwhelmed with sadness about the murder which took place on Sunday morning.
I help out the Kingston Area Taxi Operators Association by updating their webpage. I've been keeping it updated with articles from our local newspaper about the murder.
The cab community here in town is tight. Not everyone knows everyone by name necessarily but they mostly know each other to say hello or nod when two cars pass in the street. When an act of violence is committed against a cabbie, everyone feels it. This murder has left me feeling numb. I still cannot believe it has happened.
Neither Mark nor I slept very well on Monday night. On Monday, when I couldn't get ahold of him on his phone, I sort of freaked out. The killer is still at large and I'm really feeling nervous about that. His phone battery has been going for a while and I've been putting off replacing his phone because I thought it would be too expensive. After work on Monday, we went directly to the phone place and upgraded his phone. It's a better phone and is way more reliable than the one he'd been using. It only cost us $11 too, so I was silly to have put it off for so long. Funny how a tragedy can make you move huh?
The cab driver murder was not an isolated act of insanity over the weekend. On Friday, an HIV+ woman bit a cop (a friend of mine witnessed the whole thing, the poor woman was crazed apparently). On Saturday, someone was stabbed leaving a mall in the city's west end. Also on Saturday, another person robbed a pharmacy at knifepoint.
It feels like there are some really bad drugs in town. That's the only thing I can think of which would explain all of these strange, violent acts happening at the same time. I hope that's it anyway. I hope that a chemical issue is responsible for these senseless acts. If it's not, well that would just hurt my heart a little too much to even think about right now.
I help out the Kingston Area Taxi Operators Association by updating their webpage. I've been keeping it updated with articles from our local newspaper about the murder.
The cab community here in town is tight. Not everyone knows everyone by name necessarily but they mostly know each other to say hello or nod when two cars pass in the street. When an act of violence is committed against a cabbie, everyone feels it. This murder has left me feeling numb. I still cannot believe it has happened.
Neither Mark nor I slept very well on Monday night. On Monday, when I couldn't get ahold of him on his phone, I sort of freaked out. The killer is still at large and I'm really feeling nervous about that. His phone battery has been going for a while and I've been putting off replacing his phone because I thought it would be too expensive. After work on Monday, we went directly to the phone place and upgraded his phone. It's a better phone and is way more reliable than the one he'd been using. It only cost us $11 too, so I was silly to have put it off for so long. Funny how a tragedy can make you move huh?
The cab driver murder was not an isolated act of insanity over the weekend. On Friday, an HIV+ woman bit a cop (a friend of mine witnessed the whole thing, the poor woman was crazed apparently). On Saturday, someone was stabbed leaving a mall in the city's west end. Also on Saturday, another person robbed a pharmacy at knifepoint.
It feels like there are some really bad drugs in town. That's the only thing I can think of which would explain all of these strange, violent acts happening at the same time. I hope that's it anyway. I hope that a chemical issue is responsible for these senseless acts. If it's not, well that would just hurt my heart a little too much to even think about right now.
Monday, February 12, 2007
why can't I look away??
every once in a while, after work, Mark or I will be flicking around on the television and we'll pause for a few minutes on the Y&R. we've both watched it off and on over the past 20-some-odd years and it only really takes a few moments, a couple of times a year, to catch up. it's far-fetched and a good giggle and the acting is hilarious (if you can call it acting)...
...over the weekend, I kept flicking into the ongoing saga of the death of Anna Nicole Smith. plots keep developing in that soap opera much faster than I ever thought they could. on Friday afternoon at work, we all had a little giggle about the Prince Frederick as baby daddy twist. Today, when I learned about the frozen sperm angle, I laughed out loud. It all seems like some over-blown soap opera. Cartoon-ish really. because of the surreal-ness of it all, I just can't stop following the story...the interviews with casino staff, looking at photos of her fridge contents. It's all so bizarre and soapy. I know that on some level it's wrong to be entertained by all of this.
I know that a woman has died here and that's sad, although not entirely unexpected. I have a feeling that Anna would have liked how much attention this story was getting if she actually knew what was going on so maybe that's why I'm okay with my morbid fascination in this big mess!
...over the weekend, I kept flicking into the ongoing saga of the death of Anna Nicole Smith. plots keep developing in that soap opera much faster than I ever thought they could. on Friday afternoon at work, we all had a little giggle about the Prince Frederick as baby daddy twist. Today, when I learned about the frozen sperm angle, I laughed out loud. It all seems like some over-blown soap opera. Cartoon-ish really. because of the surreal-ness of it all, I just can't stop following the story...the interviews with casino staff, looking at photos of her fridge contents. It's all so bizarre and soapy. I know that on some level it's wrong to be entertained by all of this.
I know that a woman has died here and that's sad, although not entirely unexpected. I have a feeling that Anna would have liked how much attention this story was getting if she actually knew what was going on so maybe that's why I'm okay with my morbid fascination in this big mess!
Thursday, February 08, 2007
is anyone really shocked?
...to hear that Anna Nicole Smith is dead?
All joking aside, I was more surprised, earlier ths week, when I heard that Frankie Laine had passed away.
Luckily, the tabloids still have handy and eager future train wrecks like Britney, Paris and Lindsay to help keep sales up.
All joking aside, I was more surprised, earlier ths week, when I heard that Frankie Laine had passed away.
Luckily, the tabloids still have handy and eager future train wrecks like Britney, Paris and Lindsay to help keep sales up.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
I'm alive!
and I'm not giving any credit to Jeff Lynne! (although I always - sadly - think of a certain song from the Xanadu soundtrack when I hear "I'm Alive")
Between computer woes (first we were without internet for a few days, then my motherboard was fried and needed replacing) and being sick (last week, weird bug, thankfully it's gone now I think) I've not been spending a whole heck of a lot of time in front of the computer.
I have been doing other things though:
- sleeping
- sneezing
- blowing my nose
- working
- baking bread (in my bread machine)
- talking to my goldfish
- complaining about having to wear winter boots again (I shouldn't complain, it's only been 2 weeks)
I've been doing other things too... but nothing as terribly exciting as talking to fish or snot production.
Oh, for five minutes yesterday, I liked Michael Buble. He said, in the press, something that I've been saying (loudly) for years, that the Grammys were bullshit. They are and it's true and he said it too and even though I don't care much for him, he's popular and he has the ear of people who like the kind of music that is put in the spotlight in these horrible award shows. Of course, he no sooner said it than he took it back ("you can't take it back, it's already out there").
Sorry, you wishy washy crooner boy. I thought I'd be able to like you but alas, I was wrong.
Between computer woes (first we were without internet for a few days, then my motherboard was fried and needed replacing) and being sick (last week, weird bug, thankfully it's gone now I think) I've not been spending a whole heck of a lot of time in front of the computer.
I have been doing other things though:
- sleeping
- sneezing
- blowing my nose
- working
- baking bread (in my bread machine)
- talking to my goldfish
- complaining about having to wear winter boots again (I shouldn't complain, it's only been 2 weeks)
I've been doing other things too... but nothing as terribly exciting as talking to fish or snot production.
Oh, for five minutes yesterday, I liked Michael Buble. He said, in the press, something that I've been saying (loudly) for years, that the Grammys were bullshit. They are and it's true and he said it too and even though I don't care much for him, he's popular and he has the ear of people who like the kind of music that is put in the spotlight in these horrible award shows. Of course, he no sooner said it than he took it back ("you can't take it back, it's already out there").
Sorry, you wishy washy crooner boy. I thought I'd be able to like you but alas, I was wrong.
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