Not Guilty, Just Pleasure - I Miss That Feeling

A year ago today, I said good bye to buddy Sam.

He was only 10 but had developed a rare malignant growth in his heart.  His poor sweet heart.  Losing him just about killed me.  It was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do but I don't regret my decision.  I could have kept him with me a little longer but that would have been selfish and I ran the risk of him dying alone, frightened, choking, in pain... I could not allow that to happen.  In consultation with our vet, we made the decision to say goodbye to him in a humane, peaceful way.

He died in my arms, hearing me tell him how much he was loved.  I miss him a lot and it seems impossible that it's almost a year.  Gracie has had struggles with her health since he died, the two things are unrelated. Gracie was always the frail one, she always had more serious issues with her health than Sam did.  In all honesty, I always thought that she would go first and Sam would get to live to be one of those 18 year old Eskies you see online.  That was not to be the case.

Gracie and I are trucking along.  We keep an eye on each other, I take her to her monthly vet visits / skin treatments.  I think my van knows that drive to the Sydenham Vet Clinic without me even steering now.  I'm glad that I can do that for her though, keep her comfortable and as spry as an 11 year old arthritic Sheltie with skin and ear issues (and apparently, this week, an enlarged heart too) can be.

So, to make myself stop feeling sad, I'm going to share some music with you that makes me smile.  I have shared songs by Tennis here before.  I just really dig them.  I like their look and their sound, they have the total package.  I can't get to Toronto this weekend but if you can you should go and check them out.  They are playing at Longboat Hall tonight.

For those of you, like me, who can't be there in person to witness the awesomeness which is Tennis, I leave you with the wonderful video for "I Miss That Feeling."  They do have a bitchin' look, a foxy singer and a guy who plays guitar... Enjoy it kiddies and, if you have a pet, give them an extra scratch behind the ears from me xo

More Sammy News

My Sammy

I haven't been able to bring myself to write this update.

Many times over the past few weeks I have sat down and tried to start but didn't know where to begin.

It's time to do it though so I'm just going to start...

On October 18, we went back to the vet for a follow up appointment.  He seemed to respond well to the medications which had been prescribed the week earlier.  His legs were no longer shaking, he was eating well, taking his meds like a trooper, his stamina on walks was good.  Sam was still coughing but seemed to be doing much better.  On the 18th, they gave him a follow up chest X-Ray.  Not much had changed, a bit of fluid had decreased in his lungs but they weren't clear.

The next step would be an echo-cardiogram.

We made an appointment for October 23 and went home, continuing with the meds and hoping against hope that it was "just heart disease" and that the echo-cardiogram would confirm no growth in his heart.

Two weeks ago today, we returned for the test.  He was an amazing rock star throughout the ultrasound.  The vet was able to determine that there was a mass in his heart.  It was causing the healthy parts of his heart to work double time.  Without a biopsy, there was no way to say 100% that he had cancer but that's what it looks like.  Given that his cough had started in April but didn't become horrible until October meant that they considered the mass to be slow growing.  Sam was definitely not going to be living to be an old man (he turned 10 in August) but we had no idea how much time he had.  Could be days, weeks or maybe months.  I was told that eventually, he'd pass out and die, painlessly, almost exactly how Mark died.  Sam was basically going to drown in fluid from his enlarged and overworking heart.  The truly awful thing about this is that Sam is a really healthy guy.  He has some GI problems once in a while but his overall health is good.

When we went home, I was in a bit of shock, but not really.  I had sort of expected to get the worst possible news.  After what happened with Mark, my brain is sort of wired for that now.  I'd been told that if he got really bad, I could double his meds and then call them.  Last night into this morning, things got bad.  He's coughing more and more and the time between bouts is getting shorter.  Both Jasmine and I have taken to watching his chest very closely.  More than once over the past couple of days I've thought he had passed away.  I've doubled his meds so hopefully he's a bit more comfortable today but I know that's just a band aid solution.  I can feel him getting thin under his thick white coat of Eskie fur and I'm starting to worry that he's frightened and uncomfortable.  I don't want him to get a point where he can't breathe and I see that point is getting closer.  I love him so much, he's always been my boy (the same way that Gracie was always Mark's girl) and I can't imagine him not being in the house at the end of the day, "hiding" in the bedroom so I can call out "where is Sammy?  I don't even know where he is!" and then seeing him jump up and down on the bed as if to say "I'm here, right here!! Please come and scratch and rub me!!!"

At some point this week, I'm pretty sure I'll be saying goodbye to him and it's breaking my heart.  He's just been the best guy, always there when I needed him, especially after Mark died.  I want him to have a beautiful, peaceful death and I want to be there when it happens.  I want for him what Mark didn't have... I think that this is especially difficult for me because it's stirred up a lot of feelings I have about Mark's death.  At least I know that I will get through this, that doesn't make things any easier unfortunately.

Sam in pre-bark mode

Sam in pre-bark mode
Originally uploaded by Julep67

. Sam can go from zero to bat-shit crazy barking in the blink of the eye

. other times, he's on a slow boil and I can tell when he's going to get loose and bark

. he doesn't bark for the sake of barking

. Sam barks with purpose, usually to let folks walking on the sidewalk in front of our house know that they don't have his permission to be on his sidewalk

. Sam also barks at our asshole next door neighbours

. I think he knows that we don't like them any more than he does

. his fur is starting to grow back. he is looking a little bit less like a baby lamb every day

. our office barbecue yesterday was fun. the weather was gorgeous, I laughed a lot, it was a nice break from the usual Wednesday afternoon stuff

. I was saddened to hear about this this morning. Going through the process for an international adoption is difficult at the best of times. What's going to happen to the 500 families and potential adopted children, who are now in limbo?

clouded over

I'm not overly thrilled by the clouds which have gathered and are currently hanging out over my office right now. I'm working at some events this afternoon / evening and tomorrow and I really had hoped for sunny and warm. If we're lucky, it'll clear up!

I can not get over how quickly the week has gone by. The whole month of May actually. I knew, because of what we had going on at work, that the month would zing by but even still, it feels like I'd be hard pressed to remember May at all, in a couple of months.

What with the working and all, I suspect the weekend will fly by too. This week, we managed to get the bins of summer clothes upstairs (they hide out in the basement during the winter). I haven't unpacked everything (and then packed up the winter stuff) yet but it's upstairs, so that's a good start. Everything that will be packed away is clean so I just really need a couple of hours to sort stuff out, do ironing, that kind of thing. I'm the world's laziest iron-er and love the winter because I don't really have to iron anything. My only genuine complaint about summer is the ironing. I'm a whiney baby and hate to do it.

This morning, I would have paid cash money (up to and including $10 CAD) to stay home with the dogs instead of going into work. They are so awesome and cute and, did I mention, Awesome?!

Here's a video of them wrestling on the deck on Sunday. We were waiting for Mark and Andy to get back from the lumber store and this a rather low-key version of what they usually do. Enjoy!!

i love this face

on the ferry, heading home
Originally uploaded by Julep67

If Sammy didn't like to play out on the deck when I was leaving for work every morning, I think I'd never leave the house.

Speaking of our deck, I'm really excited about the plans Mark and Andy have made for it. We're going to remove the old deck boards, reinforce the frame and put new floor boards in. The guys are also going to add a 10' x 10' extension to the deck. It'll be about a foot higher than the rest of the deck and we'll put our gazebo on it (we'll be reusing some of the wood we purchased to build our little gazebo platform last year).

Originally, we'd planned to put this off for a while but we decided that we would take advantage of the cash back deals that the home improvement stores are doing, as well as the tax credit thing that the feds introduced. We should be able to do this relatively inexpensively if we do it this summer. Sammy will have a lot nicer space to roll around on all summer once it's done.

Today I'm at work and am freezing. My hands cannot warm up. We tried to get by without having to turn the heat up in our office but about an hour ago we had to break down and do it. These old hot water rads take forever to kick in though so it's just starting to feel like heat as I type this.

I think that after the weekend, we were fooled into thinking that it was actually going to stay warm and things like furnaces and sweaters can be pushed out of our tiny pea brains for a while. How wrong were we!? Pretty wrong it would seem. I'm trying hard to not complain though. As long as the snow stays away, I'm a happy kid.

introducing sam

introducing sam
Originally uploaded by Julep67

A year ago today, Sam came home with us to stay.

It's hard to believe that he hasn't been with us forever because we can't remember what it was like in our house before he came along.

We've learned a lot about him and dogs in general over the past year. Looking back at it, we thought we knew what we were doing but clearly, we didn't. Sam was very patient with us though. He's the sweetest dog I've ever met and both Mark and I love him so much it hurts.

Over the weekend, we're going to do something special to celebrate his "adoption day" but we haven't figured that out yet. Extra visits to the dog park will be included and possibly a ride on the ferry to visit the not yet working (but still impressive looking) wind farm on Wolfe Island. Whatever it is, Sam'll have fun. He's a good natured boy who is never happier than when the four of us are all together. I have to say, I feel the same way!

doggie week

sam and a dog park friend
Originally uploaded by Julep67

We've been having a great, dog-filled week this week.

On Monday afternoon, when Marked picked me up at work, both Sammy and Gracie were with him in the van. This might not seem like a big deal but it was huge for us. This was the first time that Gracie rode in the back, in the doggie hammock, with Sammy. Ever. Every other time that she's been in the van, I've had to hold her because she was so nervous.

It was the cutest thing, she loved looking out of the window and when she got tired, she just curled up on the seat and watched Sam be his silly self. We had a couple of errands to do so they were in the van for probably 40 minutes (I'd run in places and Mark would stay with them - I will not leave dogs unattended in a car for any length of time).

Last night was Westminster night in our house. We had DVR'd the Monday night coverage and we watched it last night (don't tell me who won - we're watching last night's coverage tonight). It was so much fun. The Eskie who won best of breed is from Caledon, Ontario. Very cool.

Tomorrow night, I'm off to the focus group for our off leash dog park pilot project. It should be interesting to see how the discussion goes. Part of me isn't looking forward to it but I really want to make sure that the best interests of our dogs are being considered. I feel it's really important to have an area for smaller dogs (our dogs are easily intimidated by some of the really big dogs at one of the parks).

So yeah, this week has just about completely gone to the dogs but I don't mind it one little bit. Honestly, I can't imagine it any other way!!

monday funk

I would have loved to have stayed home with the dogs today. I'm at work and my day is going well but I would have loved a long weekend. Next weekend is a long weekend, I know, and wanting 2 in a row is just greedy but still, some days I'd just rather hang out with the puppies than face the world.

The weekend was good. We stayed close to home and got some chores done, which was nice. It was really mild around here over the weekend and a lot of our snow melted. yesterday, Mark was able to get a lot of the ice on the deck chopped away so it's almost bare/clean right now. I think that Sam and Gracie actually liked the icy snow but they also like to chew on rocks so they don't always have the best judgment / taste when it comes to stuff like this.

Yesterday we watched a couple of movies "Zach and Miri Make a Porno" and "Milk." Zach and Miri was a little disappointing. We're both big time Kevin Smith fans and usually see his stuff in the theatre but, for whatever reason, we didn't see this one there. It was funny enough, typically Smith. Given that the cast spends the bulk of the movie trying to make a porno, we were given totally classic Smith and company coined film names (the parody names of the Star Wars movies were my favourites) we both laughed a lot but something was missing for me. I will say this, if you're not a fan of his movies or you have a "delicate ear" and cannot laugh at really filthy, stupid jokes, this is not a movie for you.

Milk, on the other end, I enjoyed. I thought that Sean Penn was brilliant in it. The story was compelling and the film looked like the 1970's. I particularly liked the use of new footage from the era (I love when movies do this, one of the best examples of this I can remember recently would be the media coverage of the death of Princess Diana in "the Queen"). I think it tells an important story that not everyone is familiar with, it documents a struggle for gay rights that continues to this day.

On that note, I'll share this little video with you and encourage you to go sign the online petition at the Courage Campaign website.


"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.

bed voyage

on his new bed
Originally uploaded by Julep67

In this picture, you can see Sam sleeping on his bed. Sam's a big fluffy dog and he has a big fluffy bed. It's pretty large actually, probably 4 feet by 4 feet. He sleeps on it, in our room every night. Every morning I put it into the kitchen. Sam and Gracie spend their days either in the kitchen or outside (they now have access because of the cool doggie door Andy made us). They both like sleeping on it during the day. It's big enough for both of them to stretch out with room to spare - like I said, it's BIG. Now, I would never have imagined that it could fit through the doggie door - I think that the doggie door is about 18" across.

Yesterday, before I left for work, I closed the kitchen door because it was too cold for the dogs to be out. When Mark got home in the afternoon for a break, the sun was out so he left them with access to the doggie door.

Recently, when we get home at night, I've been finding one or two of my rag rugs from the kitchen, outside on the deck (or in the yard) along with doggie toys. Last night when we got home, 2 rugs and a couple of toys were outside and so was Sam's huge ass doggie bed. I have no idea how they got it outside, there is no way that it went through the doggie door. We think that the latch may not have been on the door so they were able to push it open and drag the bed outside.

It was quite a feat however they did it. They were both pretty pooped last night so it had to have taken a lot of effort for them to get it done. I guess they're really wonder dogs!!

don't make me tap the sign

don't make me tap the sign
Originally uploaded by Julep67

As you all know (if you're regular readers), we love the off-leash dog parks here in Kingston. Actually, we love one particular park which is very close to our house. The property it is on is being redeveloped and we're not sure how big the dog park will be.

The dog parks in Kingston were part of a pilot project so last fall, the city asked for feedback from folks who use the parks. I participated in the survey and last night was invited to a focus group meeting later this month. I'm really happy to have been asked because, having two dogs, we've got a lot to say about the parks and have a vested interest in keeping them.

My hope is that the city will allocate more resource toward them and they will become like the park in Trenton. We took Sam there last summer and it was awesome. The Quinte West park was divided into two areas so that smaller dogs could have a safe area to play in without the big dogs. Sam loves dogs his size and smaller but the really big dogs seem to intimidate him.

Since the weather turned really cold, we've not been going to the dog park but (despite the minus 20 something windchill this morning) I can feel that spring is just around the corner and I've been thinking a lot about road trips and dog parks. It'll be a little different this year with Gracie. Sam is the king of the road. He loves to go in the van because he knows that the van = something really fun. Gracie is still pretty nervous in the van. Even when we're going to the park, she shakes like a leaf and I have to cuddle her in my arms the whole way.

I'm confident though that by the time the beginning of April rolls around, she'll be fine. Gracie is probably one of the smartest dogs I've ever met. She understands most commands on the first try, Sammy definitely takes longer than that... although, there is a possibility that Sam understands and ignores it to see if he can avoid doing it. Gracie is a high energy dog but we've learned that with time and patience, she is capable of doing amazing things.

coldish

snowy sammy
Originally uploaded by Julep67

The wind was a lot colder this morning than I expected it to be. You watch the weather channel and see that it's a minus 20 windchill but until it actually takes a bite out of your face, the number doesn't mean a lot.

On cold days, such as today, every smell is stinkier. Our over-the-fence-kitty-corner neighbours have the most smelliest fireplace ever. I think that they heat their home with it and we're convinced that they either burn garbage in it or that they have never cleaned their chimney.

Either way, I'm constantly surprised that they haven't burned down the neighbourhood. One evening last fall when they were getting it going for the first fire of the season, the entire neighbourhood was full of smoke. It was really gross. This morning, the stinky smelly stench was drifting into our house. I felt bad for the doggies because the back yard was polluted. I don't think that they minded the smell but they had the smoke smell on them when they came in from their morning wrestling on the deck session.

Campus is a bit of a sad place today. Over the weekend, a second year student died. Apparently, his housemates found him on Saturday. I met a student earlier today who was a friend of his and he seemed pretty numb. Whenever a young person dies suddenly like this, it's a shock and a tragedy. I'm not sure though why it takes something like this happening for us to say "hey, make the most of every day" to each other. We should probably remind ourselves of it every day.

a little off

late january storm
Originally uploaded by Julep67

I am happy-ish to report that our pathway has finally been shoveled. When I arrived at work this morning, it was still a mess, a frozen mess this time. The fluffy snow of last week got wet over the weekend and froze overnight last night. I did see the guy out there with his shovel this morning though so at least it's passable again. I was really worried that one of the many little old folks who visit us wouldn't be able to get to the door in the state it was.

The weekend was nice. On Friday night, we did some errands and on Saturday, while Mark worked, I did some puttering 'round the house. Yesterday was a bit of a veg-out day. We had a grooming session for the doggies. It was the first time I'd cut their nails (usually we get it done by the groomer or the vet) and it went really well. I was terrified that I would cut them (you read all the horror stories) and I had some of that styptic powder at the ready but didn't need to use it. I also was able to use the electric clippers on Sam (not on his nails, on his fur) and he was really good about it. Maybe I'll have a second career as a dog groomer one day.

As is our habit at this time of the year, we watched a couple of movies this weekend: Doubt and Frost/Nixon.

I really enjoyed Doubt. I thought that the cast was terrific and the performances we all great. Amy Adams particularly shone in this one I thought. Meryl Streep's character reminded me of the stories I heard about a nun who taught my mum & dad. Her Sister Aloysius character behaved in much the same away I imagined "Hawkeye" the chalk-eating Sister would.

Frost/Nixon was a bit of a let-down. I felt that the terrific cast was under-used for most of the film. I actually remember exactly where I was when we watched President Nixon resign (I was 7 and it was my mum's birthday) and "All The President's Men" has long been a favourite film of mine. I wasn't sure what to expect of a movie about the compilation of a television interview. Overall, I found the thing to be boring. Perhaps having just barely survived 8 years of being Bush-whacked has left me with little patience for yet another rehashing of the poor judgment and arrogance of R.M. Nixon.

Today I'm feeling a little bit off. I can't tell if I'm getting a cold or just have some February blahs. Over the weekend, I'd occasionally have a giant sneezing fit. It would pass but leave me feeling a bit out of sorts. Last night, I dreamed that I wasn't feel good and now I don't feel great. Hopefully it'll pass and I'll have shaken this foggy feeling by tomorrow. Right now, I am thinking about how nice a lovely big bowl of pho would be right now and the banana I left (accidentally) at home.

puppy smack

chewy skor toffee bits cookies
Originally uploaded by Julep67

In our house, we refer to "beggin strips" and "snausages" as puppy crack. We don't buy them very often and when we do, we give them out very sparingly because the dogs just go insane for them.

If these treats are puppy crack, I think cookie dough is like puppy smack. Yesterday afternoon, Mark went out to do some errands. While he was gone, I started tidying up in the kitchen. While I was doing this, I decided to bake up a batch of chewy skor toffee bit cookies because I had some skor bits in the cupboard from Christmas. I was almost done baking (the second to last sheet was in the oven, the last one was on the table, ready to go into the oven) when I went outside with the dogs.

The whole time I'd been baking, Sam was going in and out but Gracie wouldn't go. I guess it was the cold and she kept whining so I thought that if I went out too, she'd go, do what she needed to do and the whining would stop. So I'm on the deck with the dogs, Sam jumps up on me and gives me an "eskie hug" and was being very sweet and cute. Next thing I know, he's back in the house and it's just Gracie and I on the deck. I pop my head in the door and see that Sam's managed to scarf down 5 cookies worth of dough. He was lightening fast, I couldn't believe it.

So now Gracie's back in the house and Sam's got a taste for the dough. He kept trying to get more, or get some fresh cookies, he was almost instantly jumpy. You could almost see the sugar going through him, if I wasn't so pissed about it, it would have been funny. Fortunately, he wasn't sick after eating all of that dough. The only side effect we noticed that was that he full of more "piss and vinegar" last night than he normally is. Weiner.

Movie Review: So, on Saturday, we watched "In Bruges." I loved it! We laughed and laughed. I can see why the screenplay is nominated for an Academy Award. The dialogue was fast and witty and the story has some nice twists. I figure it's a good movie if I never stop to see how much time has elapsed/is left. This film just whizzed by. Very enjoyable. On Colin Farrell, I can't say that I'm a massive fan of his. The only other film of his that I can recall seeing is "A Home at the End of the World" and I thought he was very good in it. He's also great in "In Bruges" but the best performance (IMHO) belonged to Brendan Gleeson. Definitely worth a watch if you like black comedy.

Sam, meet Gracie

Sam, meet Gracie
Originally uploaded by Julep67

Gracie came home last night.

It was a bit of a nerve racking experience. Not wanting to make the same mistake we made when we brought Sam home, we made sure that the sun was shining when Gracie came home. She was reluctant to get into the van so I had to hold her in my arms all the way home. She was pretty nervous the whole way and shook a little bit until we were almost home.

We decided to introduce her to Sam in the backyard. This would give them both an opportunity to run around each other and also provided a safe environment should either them have any "nervous" accidents. They soon started chasing each other all over the yard, the deck, the house and we realized that they would eventually become very very good friends.

Gracie's previous owners gave us her crate which she sleeps in. It's a huge crate and Sam actually fits into it. Sam's crate, which is way too small for him now, fits Gracie perfectly. They slept in the crates, well not last night exactly, let's say "this morning." Not knowing what Gracie's normal bedtime routine is, we just went to bed at our normal time. A couple of hours later, she needed outside. Eventually, we got settled back into sleep until around 3 a.m. when both dogs decided to wrestle on our bed (while we were in it). This time, they both were put into the crates and aside from a small amount of whining for a moment, they slept there until we got up at 5:30 a.m.

Tonight should be much better. We know a lot more about dogs now than we did when we got Sam and the transition is going smoothly. She's a great dog and we love her already!

excellence in napping

mark and sam
Originally uploaded by Julep67

I have taken many many naps over the past week and a bit. Many of them have been taken with Sam. He's the best napper. He waits until you're almost asleep and then he hops up on the bed and curls in around your feet. Sam is a natural little foot heater and he's made the past couple of days of being home alone less lonely.

Our lives have changed in a huge way since he's been here and I have a hard time remembering now what it was like to live in this house without him. I mean, I know that we didn't have baby gates up or bowls of food in the kitchen, or little toys all over the place but it's weird to imagine coming home and not finding him here.

Fortunately, he is usually here when we get home so I don't have to think about that right now.

bark at the sun

Princess Street
Originally uploaded by Julep67

Because it's a lovely sunny morning, I've got the living room curtains open. Sam is on duty in the sunshine. He's decided to bark at, not only every person walking down the street but at every leaf as it falls from the tree on our lawn.

That is a lot of barking. Oh, yuck. I just noticed that Sam brought in an old rusty ant trap from outside. I'm not sure where he found it (possibily buried in the yard somewhere). He's been finding all kinds of weird things in the yard recently.

So I've now been off of work for a whole week. I called into the office this morning to talk to my supervisor because she was away last week when I got so sick and I hadn't talked to her (we'd been emailing). She's so sweet and concerned, I feel badly about being home, knowing that stuff is piling up, but she's made me feel a lot better about things. Fortunately, things aren't so busy at the moment that I'll be swamped when I get back. My doctor wanted me to stay home until next Wednesday but I think I'm going to try to go back on Monday and do 1/2 days until I go back to see her.

I guess I must still be feeling pretty lousy because I'm not completely bored yet. When I feel bored at being home on the sofa, I'll know I'm actually better.

barking out the window

barking out the window
Originally uploaded by Julep67

Whenever we turn the A/C off, Sam gets bark crazy. Now, barking is something that we understand to be part of the breed and we've accepted a certain amount of it. For the past few nights though, with the A/C off, we've got the windows open and Sam's decided that no one can walk down the street in front of our house without him letting them know that he's on patrol, watching their every move.

It's endearing but annoying at times. Last night, if we opened or closed a door in the house, basically made any noise that sounded close to a door knock, he went bananas.

Today, I hear that he's being quiet. Mark went home from work a little while ago. He's got a massive migraine again. I know that my head's a little wonky too right now. It's the atmospheric pressure. Hurricane season is going to be brutal for us this year I think. Hopefully, Sam will take good care of Mark this afternoon. I'll be happy if Mark's feeling better and Sam's less jumpy.

ready for a tummy rub

ready for a tummy rub
Originally uploaded by Julep67

Today is Sam's birthday. He's had a pretty good birthday-week I think. Even though we had to slide out of town for a few hours earlier today (to attend my cousin's wake - more about that later), he had an awesome breakfast of eggs and turkey, got a gigantic raw hide bone/toy to chew on and went to the dog park twice. Not bad huh?? Between trips out of town and visits to the groomers, he's had a pretty much fun-packed 2 weeks. I must say we have too, at least up until the past couple of days.

The death of my cousin has bothered me a lot more than I thought it would. I guess I figured that because she'd been so sick, for so long, that when the time finally came, I'd be okay (or as okay as you are in these situations). Right now though, I think I feel a little bit relieved. See, this afternoon, we went to the visitation and I saw her husband and parents for the first time since she'd died. I hadn't actually seen them in a while and it was tough. See, her parents are my godparents, her dad is my mum's oldest brother and I knew that when I saw him, I'd lose it. I promised myself I wouldn't but when I hugged him, I totally lost my composure on him. He just laughed when I said, "I promised myself I wouldn't do this" because I think everyone was saying that to him. He's been a rock through all of this stuff. I hope that in a few days, he can collapse into a puddle for a while (if that's what he needs - I think it's what I would need).

There were dozens of people there when we arrived. We stood in line for about an hour waiting to get into the room. By the time we were near the door way, we heard that they had started turning folks away and asking them to come back to the evening session. It was not something I'd ever seen before. Of course, all of her mum's siblings were there, with their children and grandchildren. I'd forgotten how large their family was. It was really overwhelming. Seeing my family though, did help and I feel like I'll be able to retain some semblance of cool tomorrow and keep things together. I'm not saying that I won't have dozens of tissues in my pockets but I think I'll be a little less rattled. I hope so anyway.

dynamic duo

dynamic duo
Originally uploaded by Julep67

Mark went back to work this morning. We actually got up with the alarm this morning. It was, well, alarming to say the least.

It was a little sad to see him head out the door to work but sometimes you have to do these things. Sam moped around the house a bit and I could tell he was really missing Mark. When Mark came home for a break, Sam was super excited. It was pretty cool to watch actually.

Luckily, we managed to sneak in a visit to the dog park when Mark got home. The thunder started to roll about 5 minutes after we got in the door. I'm really getting tired of all of this rain we're getting. The gloomy-ness of it all did not exactly inspire me to be very energetic today. I mean, I got a few things accomplished but nearly the number of things I'd hoped to.

Oh well, tomorrow is another day, I'm hoping for sunshine.

running sam

running sam
Originally uploaded by Julep67

Since the weekend, we've been taking Sam to a park every day. On Monday night, we went back to the Off-Leash Park at Lake Ontario Park but were driven away by a couple of things.

Because it was so humid and rainy on Monday the mosquitoes were terrible. After the rain, the breeze disappeared. We were trying to keep Sam in the shady part of the fenced off area and the bugs were thick under the trees. Mark and I endured being chewed alive for a while but when this big bitch named Mia started going nuts on Sam and on us, we decided to leave. It was odd actually, around the time when Mia arrived with her humans, I asked Mark, "Can you smell alcohol?" There was a very very strong smell of it, like it smells when it's coming from a person's pores (I know that's sort of gross but that's what it was). There was an older gentleman (probably in his 70's and a young woman (looked like late 20's to me) with this dog and I got a sense that the smell was coming from him.

They let their dog off the leash and she was chasing some other dogs who were closer to her in size. At first I thought, "how cool, they are really running hard." It didn't take me long to realize though, that she was chasing them in an "assertive" fashion. Sam had been off playing with some smaller dogs and had made his way over to me. For whatever reason, Mia got tired of chasing these other dogs and come toward Mark and I. Now, while this was going on, a very cool dog named Cassie was sharing Sam's water with him. Mia made a move toward us and Sam barked at her, just a little "hey back away from my human" sort of thing. Mia really didn't like this because she got very vicious and wouldn't move away, kept barking at Sam. She was actually so loud (of course by this time Sam starts barking) that a guy in the condo across street hollared at them to shut up.

Mia's owner was all "hey it's alright" to us and "you be good or we're going home" to Mia. Really, he should have put the leash on her and left. He didn't though so we did. After that episode, I think we'll wait until at least the ground dries up before we return the park. It was quite the doggie drama.

Last night, we went back to the dog park near our house. It's pretty open and doesn't have any shade but last night, it didn't have any other dogs either. Part of what is good about Lake Ontario Park is that Sam can hang out with other dogs. He doesn't really run as much when they are there though, he plays but doesn't run like he does at the M Centre. Last night, he ran his little guts out.

It's very interesting, all of this dog park stuff. I just hope that they give the go-ahead to the pilot project so that things can get settled and be permanent. It's a little embarassing that a city the size of Kingston doesn't actually have a permanent leash-off area yet.