Real women vs Martha Stewart:
Martha Stewart: You accidentally over-salt a dish while its still cooking drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant “fix-me-up”
Real Women: If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that’s too damn bad. Please recite after me, the Real Women’s motto: “I made it and you will eat it and I don’t care how bad it tastes”.
Martha Stewart: Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Real Women: Take a lime, mix it with tequila, etc., chill and drink. You might still have a headache but who gives a shit?
Martha Stewart: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
Real Women: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete’s sake. You are probably lying on the couch, with your feet up, eating it anyway.
Martha Stewart: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
Real Women: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potatoes mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a Year.
Martha Stewart: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won’t be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
Real Women: Go to the bakery. They will even decorate it for you.
Martha Stewart: Brush some beaten egg whites over piecrust dough before baking it to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
Real Women: The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I just don’t do it.
Martha Stewart: If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Real Women: Go ask that very cute guy next door to do it.
Martha Stewart: Don’t throw out that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cube for future use in casseroles and sauces.
Real Women: Leftover wine????