I took this photo a couple of weeks ago while in Toronto.
Avenue Road was covered in leaves. It was really lovely although it was a huge layer of leaves. Everyone had dozens of those big paper leaf bags on their curbs and the leaves kept falling. Given how windy it's been the past couple of days, I'm sure that they are long gone.
Perhaps the leaves blew into the lake. Maybe they blew all the way up to Wasaga Beach to fuel the fire.
Today was weird, between the crazy blizzarding icy rain sun showers we had here, the fire at the beach and Evel Knievel's death, it's hard to imagine what could be next.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Thursday, November 29, 2007
too pooped
it's like totally past my bedtime, totally.
did I mention that deja view is showing "square pegs" on the weekends, finally. It's like, a totally different head, totally.
all kidding aside, on some levels it holds up and others, it's embarrassing to watch. The music is good though, the waitresses are always fun and it's neat to see Sarah Jessica in pre-Carrie Bradshaw shoes.
I'm up right now because Mark is on the phone gabbing with Jack and it would be rude to fall asleep when he's probably minutes away from hanging up.
Tomorrow should be good. I have no meetings booked and should actually get some work done. It was totally "winnie the pooh and the blustery day" windy here today, hopefully it'll won't bring snow with it. Of course, if it does, maybe that will inspire me to pull out my holiday lights and get them up. The rest of our neighbourhood is beginning to light up and I feel like I'm letting folks down.
did I mention that deja view is showing "square pegs" on the weekends, finally. It's like, a totally different head, totally.
all kidding aside, on some levels it holds up and others, it's embarrassing to watch. The music is good though, the waitresses are always fun and it's neat to see Sarah Jessica in pre-Carrie Bradshaw shoes.
I'm up right now because Mark is on the phone gabbing with Jack and it would be rude to fall asleep when he's probably minutes away from hanging up.
Tomorrow should be good. I have no meetings booked and should actually get some work done. It was totally "winnie the pooh and the blustery day" windy here today, hopefully it'll won't bring snow with it. Of course, if it does, maybe that will inspire me to pull out my holiday lights and get them up. The rest of our neighbourhood is beginning to light up and I feel like I'm letting folks down.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
news traveller
The news of my job change was announced on our intranet earlier today. I was in meetings when it was posted and didn't realize it had happened. When I got back to my desk, I had a bunch of voice mails and emails from colleagues, congratulating me and offering good wishes. I sure do work with a good bunch of folks.
These next couple of weeks are supposed to be about finishing up projects and tying up loose ends. I'm not accomplishing much though. This week, I've been in meetings more than I have been at my desk and I honestly am not sure how it is all going to get done. I guess I just have to pick at the pile when I can and hope for the best. Not sure what is up with all of the meetings, I guess it's folks wanting to get stuff done before the holidays start and part of it is about the tying up loose ends.
Either way, I'll be starting my vacation in a couple of weeks. I'm sure I'll get the to do list sorted by then, I hope so anyway.
These next couple of weeks are supposed to be about finishing up projects and tying up loose ends. I'm not accomplishing much though. This week, I've been in meetings more than I have been at my desk and I honestly am not sure how it is all going to get done. I guess I just have to pick at the pile when I can and hope for the best. Not sure what is up with all of the meetings, I guess it's folks wanting to get stuff done before the holidays start and part of it is about the tying up loose ends.
Either way, I'll be starting my vacation in a couple of weeks. I'm sure I'll get the to do list sorted by then, I hope so anyway.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
bella
One of the reasons why I've been so dragged out lately, and one of the reasons I feel like a big pile of wet noodles right now, is because I've been going through the interview process for a new job.
I first heard about the opening several months ago but wasn't able to submit an application for it until the beginning of October. I was given an interview last Tuesday and on Friday, was offered the job. I didn't mention anything about it until now because I wanted to let my boss know about it before I said anything publicly. She knew that I was applying and had been one of my references so she wasn't exactly surprised when we met this morning. I do feel a huge sense of relief right now, being able to tell folks about it and actually knowing that I have the new job.
The few folks I spoke to about it while I was going through the application process kept telling me that I would get the job. I don't like to be too confident about these things though because I have had the rug pulled out from under me in the past. The job is still under the umbrella that my VP holds but in a different functional unit. I'll actually be moving to a new building entirely (and will have my own office!). I've worked in the same building (although I've been in many different offices) for 11 years now. It's a big change for me but I'm excited about it.
I have some vacation booked around the holidays. My last day in the office will be December 14. When I go back to work on January 7, I'll be in my new post. It's going to be a very nice way for me to start the new year!!
I first heard about the opening several months ago but wasn't able to submit an application for it until the beginning of October. I was given an interview last Tuesday and on Friday, was offered the job. I didn't mention anything about it until now because I wanted to let my boss know about it before I said anything publicly. She knew that I was applying and had been one of my references so she wasn't exactly surprised when we met this morning. I do feel a huge sense of relief right now, being able to tell folks about it and actually knowing that I have the new job.
The few folks I spoke to about it while I was going through the application process kept telling me that I would get the job. I don't like to be too confident about these things though because I have had the rug pulled out from under me in the past. The job is still under the umbrella that my VP holds but in a different functional unit. I'll actually be moving to a new building entirely (and will have my own office!). I've worked in the same building (although I've been in many different offices) for 11 years now. It's a big change for me but I'm excited about it.
I have some vacation booked around the holidays. My last day in the office will be December 14. When I go back to work on January 7, I'll be in my new post. It's going to be a very nice way for me to start the new year!!
Monday, November 26, 2007
adventures in dog sitting
Here's a little tip: If you need to open your front door, and you are dog sitting, make sure that you have some shoes on.
Yeah, that's right, the hound dog (did I mention she was a hound dog) got out on me today. I ran after her, in my socks. I guess she thought that this was pretty funny, a fun game I suppose, because she'd stop, wait for me to catch up to her and take off.
As I chased her, a million things went through my head, like, telling her owner, one of my oldest friends, that I lost her beloved dog. I thought about how she was a country dog, visiting us in the city and didn't know the neighbourhood. I thought about how she just loved to follow her nose. I thought about how she did not have tags.
You have no idea how happy I was to see my gravel stealing neighbour on his lawn, smoking a cigarette. I asked him to grab her and he was able to get a hold of her collar. She was not thrilled by this and eventually I got her back into the house. I didn't even think about my feet until I was standing inside the house in sopping wet, muddy socks.
She scared the shit out of me and, I think, herself too. I hope so anyway. She's been very quiet since her "adventure" outside. This is not something I want to see a replay of anytime soon.
Yeah, that's right, the hound dog (did I mention she was a hound dog) got out on me today. I ran after her, in my socks. I guess she thought that this was pretty funny, a fun game I suppose, because she'd stop, wait for me to catch up to her and take off.
As I chased her, a million things went through my head, like, telling her owner, one of my oldest friends, that I lost her beloved dog. I thought about how she was a country dog, visiting us in the city and didn't know the neighbourhood. I thought about how she just loved to follow her nose. I thought about how she did not have tags.
You have no idea how happy I was to see my gravel stealing neighbour on his lawn, smoking a cigarette. I asked him to grab her and he was able to get a hold of her collar. She was not thrilled by this and eventually I got her back into the house. I didn't even think about my feet until I was standing inside the house in sopping wet, muddy socks.
She scared the shit out of me and, I think, herself too. I hope so anyway. She's been very quiet since her "adventure" outside. This is not something I want to see a replay of anytime soon.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
just lazy thanks
I feel really tired right now, even though I had a relatively lazy day.
We were up and out pretty early this morning, did some errands and stuff. I had to go into the office for an hour or so (poor Mark went with me - it was pretty boring for him). We had the best part of the afternoon at home and did very little.
It was nice but now I'm sleepy. Sleepy is something I should not be.
Oh well, I figure it's just the weeks of overtime catching up with me. It was bound to happen I suppose!
We were up and out pretty early this morning, did some errands and stuff. I had to go into the office for an hour or so (poor Mark went with me - it was pretty boring for him). We had the best part of the afternoon at home and did very little.
It was nice but now I'm sleepy. Sleepy is something I should not be.
Oh well, I figure it's just the weeks of overtime catching up with me. It was bound to happen I suppose!
Saturday, November 24, 2007
goodly strange
For the first time in several weeks, I didn't have to work on Saturday. I've gotten into this habit of rushing home on Friday night, getting all of my laundry done (because normally I do it throughout the weekend) and then getting my stuff packed up to head out to work (sometimes out of town) first thing on Saturday.
Today I did not have to do that. I slept in a little bit, had a shower, puttered away at the laundry, played with the dog. Some TV watching happened in amongst that stuff. It was really nice. I could actually get used to this again.
I think I will be able to. I'm pretty sure that I won't have any work weekends to worry about until at least the spring. I have a little list of "to do" stuff for tomorrow which might actually get "to done" because aside from a couple of errands, I don't have to be or go anywhere specific tomorrow. It's nice.
Today I did not have to do that. I slept in a little bit, had a shower, puttered away at the laundry, played with the dog. Some TV watching happened in amongst that stuff. It was really nice. I could actually get used to this again.
I think I will be able to. I'm pretty sure that I won't have any work weekends to worry about until at least the spring. I have a little list of "to do" stuff for tomorrow which might actually get "to done" because aside from a couple of errands, I don't have to be or go anywhere specific tomorrow. It's nice.
Friday, November 23, 2007
I'm not supposed to be on the sofa
We have been having fun dog sitting this week.
The dog we are sitting on, Bella, is a strange girl. We're not sure whether she is exhibiting her normal behaviour or is a - still adjusting to strange people in a strange house or b - missing her owners like crazy or c - is just a little odd.
For a while now, we've been talking about adopting a dog from the humane society. I think that looking after Bella for 2 weeks will be good for us.
If she can stand living with us for 2 weeks, there is a chance that some other dog might be able to, too. We'll see.
The dog we are sitting on, Bella, is a strange girl. We're not sure whether she is exhibiting her normal behaviour or is a - still adjusting to strange people in a strange house or b - missing her owners like crazy or c - is just a little odd.
For a while now, we've been talking about adopting a dog from the humane society. I think that looking after Bella for 2 weeks will be good for us.
If she can stand living with us for 2 weeks, there is a chance that some other dog might be able to, too. We'll see.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
baby it's cold outside
holy crap but it's cold here. old man winter has landed on our doorsteps, quite suddenly as it happens. the wind chill is -10 according to environment canada.
we woke up to the sound of ice pellets hitting the windows and it was a slippery mess outside on the roads. I was able to get to work at pretty much my usual time but poor Mark had a bit of a white knuckle day. I worry a lot about him when the weather is bad. It's not that he can't drive in this weather, it's more that the other drivers just lose their every-lovin' minds during the first storm of the year.
Normally, Mark picks me up after he has dropped the cab off. Tonight though, he was near my office and picked me up on his way to swap cars. It's a good thing he did too. The roads are horrible and it took both of us to scrape the van. It was a giant icy cube. yuck.
it sure is good to be home right now though. I am sure that most folks are like me and would rather watch a storm from the comfort of their very own chesterfield than be out in the mix, schlepping through crap.
we woke up to the sound of ice pellets hitting the windows and it was a slippery mess outside on the roads. I was able to get to work at pretty much my usual time but poor Mark had a bit of a white knuckle day. I worry a lot about him when the weather is bad. It's not that he can't drive in this weather, it's more that the other drivers just lose their every-lovin' minds during the first storm of the year.
Normally, Mark picks me up after he has dropped the cab off. Tonight though, he was near my office and picked me up on his way to swap cars. It's a good thing he did too. The roads are horrible and it took both of us to scrape the van. It was a giant icy cube. yuck.
it sure is good to be home right now though. I am sure that most folks are like me and would rather watch a storm from the comfort of their very own chesterfield than be out in the mix, schlepping through crap.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
no more mother hubbard
Our cupboards were practically empty. The fridge too. Working all of these weekends recently has not left us with much time for shopping. I mean, we've dashed in and out of the store grabbing just enough stuff to throw something together for dinner but we hadn't done a real shop in ages.
Tonight after work, we came home and fed the critters and then went back out in the dark to do some shopping. The traffic was pretty nuts. They are calling for some snow here tomorrow and I think it's thrown folks into a bit of a panic. If we'd had any choice at all about going out tonight, we probably would have stayed home (afterall, how much do you like shopping in the rain?).
It's done now though, we both got pretty much soaked and were frozen by the time we got everything inside. The temperature is really starting to drop. Right now though, we're home, it's toasty warm in our house. I have a dog sitting at my feet and I'm listening to yet another gorgeous version of The Zutons' "Valerie" being sung by Ms Winehouse.
Life is good and right now, it's very hard to care about cold and wet.
Tonight after work, we came home and fed the critters and then went back out in the dark to do some shopping. The traffic was pretty nuts. They are calling for some snow here tomorrow and I think it's thrown folks into a bit of a panic. If we'd had any choice at all about going out tonight, we probably would have stayed home (afterall, how much do you like shopping in the rain?).
It's done now though, we both got pretty much soaked and were frozen by the time we got everything inside. The temperature is really starting to drop. Right now though, we're home, it's toasty warm in our house. I have a dog sitting at my feet and I'm listening to yet another gorgeous version of The Zutons' "Valerie" being sung by Ms Winehouse.
Life is good and right now, it's very hard to care about cold and wet.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
from the 28th floor
We have company staying with us for 2 weeks.
Our guest is Bella and she has lovely brown eyes and a waggley tail. On Sunday when we got home, there was a message on our voice mail from friends who were looking for someone to dog sit for their lovely dog. I used to dog sit for them all the time with their old dog, Morgan. Sadly, Morgan died a few years ago. They now have Bella. Bella, like Morgan was, is a Blue Tick Hound.
She's super good natured and lovely to be around. I'm just having a time adjusting to her being here. We often wander around in the dark and I now have to stop and think "where is the dog?"
Last night was her first night here. This morning was a bit weird for us. In addition to adjusting to having her here, we had a power outage. I woke up with the alarm at 4:15 a.m. I hit the snooze and then woke up about 15 minutes later, in total darkness. Our power was off until about 6 a.m. There was a pole fire a little ways away from here. Not good. Fortunately, we were able to get to work close to on time despite the outage and our morning being thrown off in a big way. We found out later that it was a flukey thing and that no one was hurt (we'd wondered if there hadn't been a big accident). All's well that ends well, right?
Our guest is Bella and she has lovely brown eyes and a waggley tail. On Sunday when we got home, there was a message on our voice mail from friends who were looking for someone to dog sit for their lovely dog. I used to dog sit for them all the time with their old dog, Morgan. Sadly, Morgan died a few years ago. They now have Bella. Bella, like Morgan was, is a Blue Tick Hound.
She's super good natured and lovely to be around. I'm just having a time adjusting to her being here. We often wander around in the dark and I now have to stop and think "where is the dog?"
Last night was her first night here. This morning was a bit weird for us. In addition to adjusting to having her here, we had a power outage. I woke up with the alarm at 4:15 a.m. I hit the snooze and then woke up about 15 minutes later, in total darkness. Our power was off until about 6 a.m. There was a pole fire a little ways away from here. Not good. Fortunately, we were able to get to work close to on time despite the outage and our morning being thrown off in a big way. We found out later that it was a flukey thing and that no one was hurt (we'd wondered if there hadn't been a big accident). All's well that ends well, right?
Monday, November 19, 2007
autumn leaves
hey, hey, it's Monday.
hey, hey, it's my lovely brother's birthday. I'm sure that he'll be celebrating in style if he hasn't already started.
I survived the weekend but it would take very little convincing to get me to go back to sleep this morning. I feel absolutely exhausted. I guess working last weekend and then having SUCH a long day on Saturday (we left town at 10:30 a.m. - I got to bed at around 3 a.m.) has taken it's toll.
I like the Zombies but am not enjoying feeling like one. I really hope I can take a few days off soon. I feel like I could really really use a few.
hey, hey, it's my lovely brother's birthday. I'm sure that he'll be celebrating in style if he hasn't already started.
I survived the weekend but it would take very little convincing to get me to go back to sleep this morning. I feel absolutely exhausted. I guess working last weekend and then having SUCH a long day on Saturday (we left town at 10:30 a.m. - I got to bed at around 3 a.m.) has taken it's toll.
I like the Zombies but am not enjoying feeling like one. I really hope I can take a few days off soon. I feel like I could really really use a few.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
icy
For whatever reason, I woke up much earlier this morning than I would have liked to. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, I do have a bunch of stuff to get done this morning, all the same, I'm not sure that I feel entirely rested. Until I'm actually in the van and heading west, I think I'll feel a little uneasy. I usually do and sometimes wish I didn't.
Last night, I did manage to get all of my laundry done and sort out some of the stuff I needed to get ready for today. I know that today will go by quickly and hopefully I'll have easy access to coffee for a good chunk of it. At the moment, I'm just feeling like I'll need it.
Last night, I did manage to get all of my laundry done and sort out some of the stuff I needed to get ready for today. I know that today will go by quickly and hopefully I'll have easy access to coffee for a good chunk of it. At the moment, I'm just feeling like I'll need it.
Friday, November 16, 2007
bumpy noggin
Apparently, according to many people who keep sending me emails, I have some kind of erectile dysfunction. It's very weird and wasn't something I was aware of until I got these emails.
About ten minutes ago, I was feeling so exhausted that I wanted to go to bed. Right now though, I'm feeling a little better. I need to get a good rest tonight because I have a really long day tomorrow.
I'm meeting my colleagues at 10:30 a.m. and we're heading out of town. At the moment, it's looking like it'll be around 3 a.m. before our day ends. With any kind of luck it won't be that late but I'm not holding my breath.
In fish news, chocolate looks worse but seems to be acting "better." She's swimming around and being silly and generally acting more like a fish. So, yeah, yay!
About ten minutes ago, I was feeling so exhausted that I wanted to go to bed. Right now though, I'm feeling a little better. I need to get a good rest tonight because I have a really long day tomorrow.
I'm meeting my colleagues at 10:30 a.m. and we're heading out of town. At the moment, it's looking like it'll be around 3 a.m. before our day ends. With any kind of luck it won't be that late but I'm not holding my breath.
In fish news, chocolate looks worse but seems to be acting "better." She's swimming around and being silly and generally acting more like a fish. So, yeah, yay!
Thursday, November 15, 2007
how convenient!
Our chocolate oranda fish is still sick, I think. About 4 weeks ago, we had to take her out of the big tank because she was really weak and the other fish were picking on her.
We got her into a hospital tank in my office and she's been doing really well up until the past few days. I noticed a couple of weeks ago that she had these little bumps on her head. I didn't think much of it because a couple of our fish have gone through that, a metomorphosis I guess you'd call it.
Tonight though, the bump is really red looking and she's been hanging out near the tank heater a lot. At meal time, she's very active and she's got a good appetite. I don't know if she'll ever bounce back from that parasitic infection that she had. It's tough to watch for sure.
In other, non-fish related news, I'm tired. Sleep is good but work is really draining. Fortunately, in approximately 54 hours (but who's counting), I can relax. Hopefully I'll get more sleep too. That would be good.
We got her into a hospital tank in my office and she's been doing really well up until the past few days. I noticed a couple of weeks ago that she had these little bumps on her head. I didn't think much of it because a couple of our fish have gone through that, a metomorphosis I guess you'd call it.
Tonight though, the bump is really red looking and she's been hanging out near the tank heater a lot. At meal time, she's very active and she's got a good appetite. I don't know if she'll ever bounce back from that parasitic infection that she had. It's tough to watch for sure.
In other, non-fish related news, I'm tired. Sleep is good but work is really draining. Fortunately, in approximately 54 hours (but who's counting), I can relax. Hopefully I'll get more sleep too. That would be good.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
my fuzzy friends
Late this afternoon, just as I was thinking about how quickly the day was slipping way from me, an office mate said out loud (althouh not super loud, more like thinking out loud loud) "will this day never end!" I thought it was sort of amusing that we were in the same small space and yet were experiencing completely different days.
weird.
The week is flying by actually. Having worked for a huge chunk of last weekend and spending this week getting stuff to together so we can be working for most of this weekend tends to make the time fly. For me anyway. I think that the others on my team feel the same way. There is a light at the end of the tunnel though. On Sunday morning, I'll be sitting at the counter at Bagel World (as we do everytime we find ourselves in Toronto on a Sunday) sipping my coffee and enjoying the fact that our big stuff is done with for the calendar year.
Right now though, I'm still in the middle of it. I just keep thinking about that coffee and Sunday and it's okay.
weird.
The week is flying by actually. Having worked for a huge chunk of last weekend and spending this week getting stuff to together so we can be working for most of this weekend tends to make the time fly. For me anyway. I think that the others on my team feel the same way. There is a light at the end of the tunnel though. On Sunday morning, I'll be sitting at the counter at Bagel World (as we do everytime we find ourselves in Toronto on a Sunday) sipping my coffee and enjoying the fact that our big stuff is done with for the calendar year.
Right now though, I'm still in the middle of it. I just keep thinking about that coffee and Sunday and it's okay.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
relative choices
I have a few friends who have either adopted children or who are in the process of adopting a child or who are adopted themselves. I saw this on the New York Times website this morning and enjoyed it. I really like Tama Janowitz too, which is what drew me to the article in the first place. The relative choices blog can be found here: http://relativechoices.blogs.nytimes.com/
The Real Thing
By Tama Janowitz
My husband Tim and I adopted our daughter Willow, who is now 12, from China when she was 9 months old. We were told by the adoption agency that once the process was complete and the three of us were back home, many people would stop to inquire about our daughter’s Mongolian features or why she did not look like us.
It may be that having a child of a different ethnic background from yourself is more difficult in other parts of the country. And certainly that may lead to problems. But In my neighborhood in Brooklyn I see black women with half-Asian, half-black kids and I see kids with dark skin and blond hair — the mother is white, the father is not.
There are Indian fathers and Caucasian mothers with their offspring. There are families with two dads. There are also Hasidic families with ten kids and Muslim women dressed in full burkas who have dressed their daughters the same way.
So here in New York City, we haven’t attracted too much attention.
Well, O.K., sometimes.
It is true when she was a baby, if I took her out on my own, sometimes people did ask me, “Is the father Chinese?” If I said “yes” the usual response was “Good for you!” This puzzled me, so then I just said, “Either Chinese, or some black dude – who can remember?”
But as always, if you don’t have one kind of problem, you will automatically be given another.
There are more than enough for seconds! Even fifths!
One thing I figure, whether adopted, mixed race, religious, non-religious, whether your child is biological, whether you send her to Hebrew school or piano lessons – there is no one who does not resent his or her parents, We all have this in common.
Indeed, it may be what makes us human.
Everyone feels they are doing the best possible job as a parent. But apart from the most obvious types of abuse, there is little that is clear-cut in regard to child rearing. Some discipline their kids and refuse to allow them to go to school dressed in a tutu. Others allow them to eat McDonald’s. Even if your house is tidy, this could be a mistake in child-rearing! So could being a vegetarian! Or serving meat!
A girlfriend who is now on the waiting list for a child from Ethiopia says that the talk of her adoption group is a recently published book in which many Midwestern Asian adoptees now entering their 30s and 40s complain bitterly about being treated as if they did not come from a different cultural background. They feel that this treatment was an attempt to blot out their differences, and because of this, they resent their adoptive parents.
So in a way it is kind of nice to know as a parent of a child, biological or otherwise – whatever you do is going to be wrong. Like I say to Willow: “Well, you know, if you were still in China you would be working in a factory for 14 hours a day with only limited bathroom breaks!”
And she says — as has been said by children since time immemorial — “So what, I don’t care. I would rather do that than be here anyway.”
My friend has a biological kid who said one day, “I hate you.” She cried and cried and told the child how deeply hurt she was.
I have heard those words, too, and my child is not biological. Like, I care? Hate me or love me, I am her mother and she knows it and since she is not getting a reaction out of me she almost immediately revises her opinion.
Is it my fault she is still angry because I kept coming home with another dog? I would have been thrilled, if I was a kid, to have six poodles! How was I supposed to know she would turn out to be the type who didn’t like dogs? And she says even if she did like dogs, she only likes mixed breeds!
“You should keep a list of everything I’ve done to you,” I have often suggested, “That way, later, you can read it to your therapist. Otherwise you might forget.”
Sometimes I think, Well, maybe I should be more of a disciplinarian. But what am I going to do, lock her in her room? She has an ensuite bath, a computer, cell phone and a game boy and if I say, I will take those away she says, “So what, who cares?”
Same with TV privileges. “Go watch TV!” I tell her.
“No, I don’t want to.”
“You will watch TV, young lady.” It’s no use.
I know that there are some women who have given birth who believe that the type of love they have for their child is more intense, more real, than the love I have for my kid, because they hatched it themselves. This argument makes no sense to me. After all, the fathers (until recently) never could be sure that it was their sperm that made them the dad.
You might as well say, “Listen, Daddy-O, you had ten minutes max of involvement in the creation biz, and you didn’t even get to pre-approve the winning sperm, And if your kid is the product of the fastest sperm in the bunch, that is just plain pitiful. How could you care about the child?”
However I would no more say this than ask someone with a baby if they were certain the father was human.
I also know women who never really bonded with their kid – biological, or adopted.
I figure, Willow, she’s my kid, she just got here differently. I don’t remember floating around in my mother’s womb, or coming out of the vaginal canal – but I still know that person is my mother, even if she is a little off.
And my kid knows I’m her real mother.
Not biological, but real. It doesn’t get any realer than this.
The Real Thing
By Tama Janowitz
My husband Tim and I adopted our daughter Willow, who is now 12, from China when she was 9 months old. We were told by the adoption agency that once the process was complete and the three of us were back home, many people would stop to inquire about our daughter’s Mongolian features or why she did not look like us.
It may be that having a child of a different ethnic background from yourself is more difficult in other parts of the country. And certainly that may lead to problems. But In my neighborhood in Brooklyn I see black women with half-Asian, half-black kids and I see kids with dark skin and blond hair — the mother is white, the father is not.
There are Indian fathers and Caucasian mothers with their offspring. There are families with two dads. There are also Hasidic families with ten kids and Muslim women dressed in full burkas who have dressed their daughters the same way.
So here in New York City, we haven’t attracted too much attention.
Well, O.K., sometimes.
It is true when she was a baby, if I took her out on my own, sometimes people did ask me, “Is the father Chinese?” If I said “yes” the usual response was “Good for you!” This puzzled me, so then I just said, “Either Chinese, or some black dude – who can remember?”
But as always, if you don’t have one kind of problem, you will automatically be given another.
There are more than enough for seconds! Even fifths!
One thing I figure, whether adopted, mixed race, religious, non-religious, whether your child is biological, whether you send her to Hebrew school or piano lessons – there is no one who does not resent his or her parents, We all have this in common.
Indeed, it may be what makes us human.
Everyone feels they are doing the best possible job as a parent. But apart from the most obvious types of abuse, there is little that is clear-cut in regard to child rearing. Some discipline their kids and refuse to allow them to go to school dressed in a tutu. Others allow them to eat McDonald’s. Even if your house is tidy, this could be a mistake in child-rearing! So could being a vegetarian! Or serving meat!
A girlfriend who is now on the waiting list for a child from Ethiopia says that the talk of her adoption group is a recently published book in which many Midwestern Asian adoptees now entering their 30s and 40s complain bitterly about being treated as if they did not come from a different cultural background. They feel that this treatment was an attempt to blot out their differences, and because of this, they resent their adoptive parents.
So in a way it is kind of nice to know as a parent of a child, biological or otherwise – whatever you do is going to be wrong. Like I say to Willow: “Well, you know, if you were still in China you would be working in a factory for 14 hours a day with only limited bathroom breaks!”
And she says — as has been said by children since time immemorial — “So what, I don’t care. I would rather do that than be here anyway.”
My friend has a biological kid who said one day, “I hate you.” She cried and cried and told the child how deeply hurt she was.
I have heard those words, too, and my child is not biological. Like, I care? Hate me or love me, I am her mother and she knows it and since she is not getting a reaction out of me she almost immediately revises her opinion.
Is it my fault she is still angry because I kept coming home with another dog? I would have been thrilled, if I was a kid, to have six poodles! How was I supposed to know she would turn out to be the type who didn’t like dogs? And she says even if she did like dogs, she only likes mixed breeds!
“You should keep a list of everything I’ve done to you,” I have often suggested, “That way, later, you can read it to your therapist. Otherwise you might forget.”
Sometimes I think, Well, maybe I should be more of a disciplinarian. But what am I going to do, lock her in her room? She has an ensuite bath, a computer, cell phone and a game boy and if I say, I will take those away she says, “So what, who cares?”
Same with TV privileges. “Go watch TV!” I tell her.
“No, I don’t want to.”
“You will watch TV, young lady.” It’s no use.
I know that there are some women who have given birth who believe that the type of love they have for their child is more intense, more real, than the love I have for my kid, because they hatched it themselves. This argument makes no sense to me. After all, the fathers (until recently) never could be sure that it was their sperm that made them the dad.
You might as well say, “Listen, Daddy-O, you had ten minutes max of involvement in the creation biz, and you didn’t even get to pre-approve the winning sperm, And if your kid is the product of the fastest sperm in the bunch, that is just plain pitiful. How could you care about the child?”
However I would no more say this than ask someone with a baby if they were certain the father was human.
I also know women who never really bonded with their kid – biological, or adopted.
I figure, Willow, she’s my kid, she just got here differently. I don’t remember floating around in my mother’s womb, or coming out of the vaginal canal – but I still know that person is my mother, even if she is a little off.
And my kid knows I’m her real mother.
Not biological, but real. It doesn’t get any realer than this.
Monday, November 12, 2007
so very sleepy
I think that the working on the weekend has caught up with me.
At the moment, I'm really tired. I didn't sleep well last night despite being exhausted. Perhaps I was too tired to sleep. I thought about work a lot and that didn't help.
I'm working this weekend too. After that though, I shouldn't have to work a weekend again for a good long while. May if I'm lucky (or not).
We'll see. Right now, I'm jonesing for a day off.
At the moment, I'm really tired. I didn't sleep well last night despite being exhausted. Perhaps I was too tired to sleep. I thought about work a lot and that didn't help.
I'm working this weekend too. After that though, I shouldn't have to work a weekend again for a good long while. May if I'm lucky (or not).
We'll see. Right now, I'm jonesing for a day off.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Queen's Bands
yesterday was a very long day.
I was working out of town last night. We left town at midday and stopped off at IKEA in Nepean en route to our venue. It was mutually decided that we'd shop for an hour. After 38 minutes, we got in the line up. We spent 25 minutes in the line up. It was totally crazy. I guess because it's a long weekend in Ottawa this weekend (I think that most stuff is closed tomorrow because of Remembrance Day) everyone was out getting stuff for weekend projects.
Mostly, we were buying candles and household stuff. We did walk out with a kitchen sink though. One of my coworkers picked up a sink for a song. It was pretty funny actually, we heard "oh yeah, everything and the kitchen sink!" a lot yesterday.
We got back into town at around 1 a.m. Mark and I didn't get to sleep until around 3 a.m. (he came out to pick me up at the office) because I was a little wired. This morning I slept in a bit, we went out for lunch and I did a little laundry this afternoon but not much else.
At the moment, I'm feeling pretty bagged and I think I'll be heading to bed very soon. Oh, Mark's feeling much better. His toe is healing nicely and the bug seems to be disappearing so hopefully he'll be all back to normal in another day or so.
I was working out of town last night. We left town at midday and stopped off at IKEA in Nepean en route to our venue. It was mutually decided that we'd shop for an hour. After 38 minutes, we got in the line up. We spent 25 minutes in the line up. It was totally crazy. I guess because it's a long weekend in Ottawa this weekend (I think that most stuff is closed tomorrow because of Remembrance Day) everyone was out getting stuff for weekend projects.
Mostly, we were buying candles and household stuff. We did walk out with a kitchen sink though. One of my coworkers picked up a sink for a song. It was pretty funny actually, we heard "oh yeah, everything and the kitchen sink!" a lot yesterday.
We got back into town at around 1 a.m. Mark and I didn't get to sleep until around 3 a.m. (he came out to pick me up at the office) because I was a little wired. This morning I slept in a bit, we went out for lunch and I did a little laundry this afternoon but not much else.
At the moment, I'm feeling pretty bagged and I think I'll be heading to bed very soon. Oh, Mark's feeling much better. His toe is healing nicely and the bug seems to be disappearing so hopefully he'll be all back to normal in another day or so.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
good morning helen
I was up a lot earlier this morning than I had planned to be but I feel rested so it's okay I suppose.
Yesterday, much to my shock and horror, I discovered that one of my work buddies had not only never seen the Kids in the Hall but she had never even heard about them. The discovery was made when I made a joke about "helens" because have 3 of them sitting at one table for an event. The girl who sits next me laughed cuz she's a kith fan. The other person, well she had a blank look. I felt like I was speaking a foreign language to her.
In an attempt to educate her a tiny bit about Helens, I sent her this. I miss the Helens, and the kith.
Yesterday, much to my shock and horror, I discovered that one of my work buddies had not only never seen the Kids in the Hall but she had never even heard about them. The discovery was made when I made a joke about "helens" because have 3 of them sitting at one table for an event. The girl who sits next me laughed cuz she's a kith fan. The other person, well she had a blank look. I felt like I was speaking a foreign language to her.
In an attempt to educate her a tiny bit about Helens, I sent her this. I miss the Helens, and the kith.
Friday, November 09, 2007
fresh ontario strawberries
I love the autumn. I love the cool air, the crunchy leaves, wearing sweaters, the lot. I miss strawberries though. Fresh Ontario berries specifically. The ones you get the in stores at this time of year are woody and from texas or california and cannot hold a berry scented candle to them.
Mark's feeling a little bit better tonight. We now realize however, that he did break his toe. It's a mess. He's hobbling around. Whatever virus he has, is still there but he actually got through an entire day at work. He's under strict instructions to take it easy this weekend.
I have to go out of town for work tomorrow so I won't be home to bitch at him if he tries to do too much. I hope he just sits on the couch and puts that foot up. It's what he needs to be doing, imho anyway.
Mark's feeling a little bit better tonight. We now realize however, that he did break his toe. It's a mess. He's hobbling around. Whatever virus he has, is still there but he actually got through an entire day at work. He's under strict instructions to take it easy this weekend.
I have to go out of town for work tomorrow so I won't be home to bitch at him if he tries to do too much. I hope he just sits on the couch and puts that foot up. It's what he needs to be doing, imho anyway.
Thursday, November 08, 2007
not good
so it turns out that the big traffic mess last night in our little neighbourhood was the aftermath of an accident. An 11 year old girl (there are lots of kids in our part of town - we live very close to 2 elementary schools and 2 high schools) was hit and taken to hospital with serious head injuries. What we saw on our way home last night was the accident reconstruction team from the KPD. yikes.
also, Mark's still feeling shitty. he went to the doctor today and she ordered some tests so we're waiting to hear what it might be. she thinks that it is something viral. no doubt, whatever it was, he picked it up from snotty kid in the taxi.
hopefully, by this time tomorrow, we'll know what's going on. to add insult to injury, he banged his foot last night and has a seriously mangled toe on his right foot. he is not having a good week.
oh well, better days ahead, right?
also, Mark's still feeling shitty. he went to the doctor today and she ordered some tests so we're waiting to hear what it might be. she thinks that it is something viral. no doubt, whatever it was, he picked it up from snotty kid in the taxi.
hopefully, by this time tomorrow, we'll know what's going on. to add insult to injury, he banged his foot last night and has a seriously mangled toe on his right foot. he is not having a good week.
oh well, better days ahead, right?
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
it was a dark and stormy night...
I really need to get out and take some new photos.
Our neighbourhood is like a little speedy race car place right now. After work, we stopped off at the grocery store to pick up a few things for tonight's dinner. As we approached our neighbourhood, apres shopping, we noticed that the police had a block of Concession Street closed.
Right now, there is that yellow "don't even think about driving here" tape stretching across the street and really hard working constables are sitting in their cars monitoring the confusion. We can't tell what happened but it looked like an access bus might have been in an accident.
The resulting accident has created lots of would-be detours through our neighbourhood. We watched four cars turn onto a dead end street (quickly) not realizing that it didn't go anywhere. It was amusing to us. Our neighbourhood is a very quiet (normally) place with little side streets that meander and just go to other quiet side streets. We were having a bit of a chuckle watching guys in souped up cars speeding a long, only to have to throw on their brakes and turn around.
weiners, all of them.
So, Mark's still feeling sick. He went to work today but quit around 1:30. Whatever he has, it's really dragging on. I hate things like this. I prefer to get sick, good and sick, and get it over with. Long, drawn out, irritating illnesses just bug me. Yeah, I'm grouchy, I know. It'll pass, I think.
Our neighbourhood is like a little speedy race car place right now. After work, we stopped off at the grocery store to pick up a few things for tonight's dinner. As we approached our neighbourhood, apres shopping, we noticed that the police had a block of Concession Street closed.
Right now, there is that yellow "don't even think about driving here" tape stretching across the street and really hard working constables are sitting in their cars monitoring the confusion. We can't tell what happened but it looked like an access bus might have been in an accident.
The resulting accident has created lots of would-be detours through our neighbourhood. We watched four cars turn onto a dead end street (quickly) not realizing that it didn't go anywhere. It was amusing to us. Our neighbourhood is a very quiet (normally) place with little side streets that meander and just go to other quiet side streets. We were having a bit of a chuckle watching guys in souped up cars speeding a long, only to have to throw on their brakes and turn around.
weiners, all of them.
So, Mark's still feeling sick. He went to work today but quit around 1:30. Whatever he has, it's really dragging on. I hate things like this. I prefer to get sick, good and sick, and get it over with. Long, drawn out, irritating illnesses just bug me. Yeah, I'm grouchy, I know. It'll pass, I think.
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
frustrated
for some reason, blogger has been being pissy for the past 24 hours.
I cannot connect to my ftp server via blogger. It's working (the ftp server) but blogger is just hung and hung and hung.
I have no idea when this post will get through.
ain't technology wonderful?!?
I cannot connect to my ftp server via blogger. It's working (the ftp server) but blogger is just hung and hung and hung.
I have no idea when this post will get through.
ain't technology wonderful?!?
Monday, November 05, 2007
achey
Poor Mark, he's still feeling like hammered crap.
I don't know what kind of weird bug he has picked up in the cab (I'm guessing) but it has a hold on him. He doesn't have a sore throat or stuffy head but he's really sore and stiff in his arms, elbows and shoulders. He's been talking to folks in the cab who have the same thing.
Whatever it is, I hope he gets rid soon. He's really uncomfortable and miserable and I feel terrible and useless watching him feel so crappy.
Oh yeah, it's also windy and raining like crazy here right now. The weather sort of matches the mood of our house right now.
I don't know what kind of weird bug he has picked up in the cab (I'm guessing) but it has a hold on him. He doesn't have a sore throat or stuffy head but he's really sore and stiff in his arms, elbows and shoulders. He's been talking to folks in the cab who have the same thing.
Whatever it is, I hope he gets rid soon. He's really uncomfortable and miserable and I feel terrible and useless watching him feel so crappy.
Oh yeah, it's also windy and raining like crazy here right now. The weather sort of matches the mood of our house right now.
Sunday, November 04, 2007
soup
not exactly but similar to was the bowl of soup I had for dinner tonight.
Mark seems to have picked up a flu bug somewhere. He slept most of this afternoon and woke up jonsing for soup.
I was a little bit worried as we rounded the corner near the soup place, that it would be closed. They tend have weird hours and we've missed them before.
Fortunately, they were open and we both had big steamy bowls of soup.
I think he's feeling a little bit better now. A good night of sleep tonight should help him too. I'm sure he'll be better in the morning.
Mark seems to have picked up a flu bug somewhere. He slept most of this afternoon and woke up jonsing for soup.
I was a little bit worried as we rounded the corner near the soup place, that it would be closed. They tend have weird hours and we've missed them before.
Fortunately, they were open and we both had big steamy bowls of soup.
I think he's feeling a little bit better now. A good night of sleep tonight should help him too. I'm sure he'll be better in the morning.
Saturday, November 03, 2007
sliding through saturday
how's your weekend going?
I haven't seen this in ages but it appeared on the retro video channel earlier today:
Funnily enough, so did "500 Up" by sloan.
That made me feel really really old.
I haven't seen this in ages but it appeared on the retro video channel earlier today:
Funnily enough, so did "500 Up" by sloan.
That made me feel really really old.
Friday, November 02, 2007
smilin'
it is officially the weekend.
officially, it's been the weekend for about 3 hours give or take a few minutes here or there. it feels pretty good.
I've been listening to "California" by Rufus Wainwright a lot lately. I think it would be neat to have Bea Arthur be my grandma. I had two perfectly lovely grandma's, don't get me wrong at all, I just like Bea Arthur. She and I actually share a birthday. Have you ever looked up those lists of famous/infamous people who share your birthday with you? I share mine with Bea, Bobby Darin, Harvey Keitel, George Lucas & Stevie Wonder.
So, in the continuing saga that is the construction project on our street, we were able to park in our driveway tonight. What a treat it was to bring groceries in from the driveway and not from down the road.
When we got home, I noticed tire marks all over the driveway. It was kind of funny actually. They only paved the bit of our driveway that was ripped up so there is a huge difference between the old drive and the new part. All over the brand new, dark asphalt were bicycle tracks. At the moment, there is a huge pile of top soil across the street from us. There are tire marks in the pile and they lead right to our spiffy new driveway. Of course, there is still a 3 inch drop from the end of driveway to the street - I think they'll fix that next week - so it's dirt and jumping and new pavement. What more could a kid ask for when you're all hopped up on halloween candy?
officially, it's been the weekend for about 3 hours give or take a few minutes here or there. it feels pretty good.
I've been listening to "California" by Rufus Wainwright a lot lately. I think it would be neat to have Bea Arthur be my grandma. I had two perfectly lovely grandma's, don't get me wrong at all, I just like Bea Arthur. She and I actually share a birthday. Have you ever looked up those lists of famous/infamous people who share your birthday with you? I share mine with Bea, Bobby Darin, Harvey Keitel, George Lucas & Stevie Wonder.
So, in the continuing saga that is the construction project on our street, we were able to park in our driveway tonight. What a treat it was to bring groceries in from the driveway and not from down the road.
When we got home, I noticed tire marks all over the driveway. It was kind of funny actually. They only paved the bit of our driveway that was ripped up so there is a huge difference between the old drive and the new part. All over the brand new, dark asphalt were bicycle tracks. At the moment, there is a huge pile of top soil across the street from us. There are tire marks in the pile and they lead right to our spiffy new driveway. Of course, there is still a 3 inch drop from the end of driveway to the street - I think they'll fix that next week - so it's dirt and jumping and new pavement. What more could a kid ask for when you're all hopped up on halloween candy?
Thursday, November 01, 2007
it's about time!
I'm not at all surprised to read this (although I was amused). I don't feel bad at all about how little I spend on my bags (and I do love a nice purse!!) on ebay and Canal Street and elsewhere, I actually feel pretty good about it.
Is This It for the It Bag?
By ERIC WILSON
EVERYONE’S talking about the bubble, and when it will burst.
There is too much inventory. Prices are absurdly high. And analysts are predicting a slowdown in a market that may have already passed its peak of irrational growth, in 2004. Even as prices have increased exponentially over the last three years, with buyers trying to get in on the ground floor of premier properties — the Paddington, the Muse, the Giant City — so, too, have reports of dwindling consumer confidence and a looming credit crisis that could potentially wipe out the value of Uptowns and Downtowns alike.
Some people are concerned that a combination of volatile interest rates and the weakened dollar will ultimately cripple the market.
Status handbags, you see, are a lot like housing. After the rise of the $1,000 purse, fashion’s equivalent of the $1 million studio, there inevitably comes talk of a backlash. Are we now living in a handbag bubble?
“The new condo market today is comparable to the It bag,” said Stephanie Phair, the vice president for merchandising for Portero, an online auction house that specializes in the resale of luxury goods. “Every bag has a name. At least in New York, you see the same thing with all those condo buildings going up with valets, pools, dog parks and fancy names. At some point, people are going to decide that, in fact, what they’d like is to go back to the tried and tested, the classic prewar or the apartment on lower Fifth Avenue.”
“The appeal of the It bag,” Mr. Phair said, “has started to wane.”
Yet this is a moment when every bag seems to have, in addition to a price tag that could be confused with a ZIP code, a name that conjures up images of a wealthy enclave or a cast member of “Gossip Girl.” Heloise, Mathilde and Beata are bags by Chloé; Mariah, Camila and Elsa come from Marc Jacobs; the Uptown, the Downtown and the Muse are designs from Yves Saint Laurent, not buildings by André Balazs.
An entire genre of slouchy handbags, described as “hobos,” may even strike some readers as unintentionally funny, if not slightly offensive, with their earnest descriptions and indiscreet prices — the Dolce & Gabbana Miss Perfect hobo, $795; the Celine Bittersweet hobo, $1,700; the Prada nappa gauffre Antic hobo, $1,750 (a crazy gopher hobo?) — for bags meant to look as if they once belonged to tramps.
“Designers are just testing the laws of economics by pricing handbags higher and higher until people stop buying them,” said Lauren Goodman, the fashion director of Domino magazine. “They are so expensive, and drive you to buy a new one every season, which is kind of a horrifying thought.”
Ms. Goodman is aware of the hot bags of the moment: the Prada leather styles that repeat the ombré patterns of the fall collection; the Marc Jacobs oversize clutch, carried by several editors during the spring collections; the YSL Downtown bag, which is shaped like a Chinese takeout container with a handle. “Some people still carry the Muse,” she said of another YSL style. “They think the Muse is hot, because they’re kind of behind.”
But how does one afford to stay ahead?
At the rate that designers are introducing new styles, that no longer seems possible, which has led to a shift in perceptions about status bags.
“That whole phenomenon has changed,” said Julie Gilhart, the fashion director of Barneys New York. “Our customers seem to be looking for something more interesting. They don’t want to spend money on something everyone else has.”
They don’t want a one-season bag.
At the least, there is anecdotal evidence that the fastest-growing segment of the fashion industry, also considered its most lucrative because of its high profit margins, may not be immune to market exhaustion.
Coach, the leading American handbag company, reported last month that its profit growth may slow this holiday season, setting off jitters among investors who view the brand as the entry-level threshold for luxury goods and an indicator for the broader health of the market. One could not avoid the sense of dread reflected in a Women’s Wear Daily headline this week: “A Chilly Wind Blows: Retailers Are on Edge About Holiday Season.”
Handbag sales in the $7 billion United States market are expected to increase by 15 percent this year, according to the stock research firm Telsey Advisory Group. This is considered a disappointment, because the growth is about half as strong as the category’s 28 percent gain in 2004.
“That $5,000 Marc Jacobs bag is so yesterday’s news,” said Elizabeth Kiester, the chief creative director of LeSportsac, which is developing a line of bags with Stella McCartney that will sell for under $350, beginning in February. “The luxury market is so over the top now that it is demented. I call them limo bags. I don’t have a limo.”
It is probably a stretch to equate the slowing growth of handbag sales to It bag fatigue, but the statistics cited in Dana Thomas’s book, “Deluxe: How Luxury Lost Its Luster,” indicate that the American population is currently over-accessorized. Ms. Thomas cites a survey that showed by 2004, the average American woman was buying more than four handbags a year.
Ms. Phair, of Portero, said there is not a strong resale market for fashion bags of the moment. “It’s not that we wouldn’t touch a Vuitton Murakami, but now it would be purchased by someone with a collector’s perspective, who loves Louis Vuitton and wants to own pieces from every season,” she said.
In some circles, status bags have already become a punch line. A label called Slow and Steady Wins the Race recently produced a series of $100 handbags that recreated the shapes of iconic designs using inexpensive canvas — “a visual hyperbolic expression about contemporary fashion’s attention and obsession with designer handbags,” says its Web site.
The latest versions are hybrids: the Hermesbirkin-Dior (a saddlebag with Birkin-style handles), the Balenciaga-Chanel (where hardware meets quilting) and the Chanel-Asfour-Gucci (a circular quilted bag with a red-and-green stripe).
One is tempted, then, to declare an end to the It bag, but, then again, there were a lot of bags at the spring collections that seem destined for stardom: the Richard Prince bags at Vuitton, the Duffy at Marc Jacobs, the cute wavy-striped bags at Prada. Ken Downing, the fashion director at Neiman Marcus, is amused that there is even a question of a handbag bubble.
“We certainly believe our customer is a fashion enthusiast, and our customers love handbags,” he said.
At Neiman, the average bag sells for about $1,200, but Mr. Downing said there is no price resistance for a pièce de résistance. A special edition of 25 Chanel bags, made in crocodile for the retailer’s 100th anniversary last month, sold out in a snap. The price of each bag was $25,000.
Is This It for the It Bag?
By ERIC WILSON
EVERYONE’S talking about the bubble, and when it will burst.
There is too much inventory. Prices are absurdly high. And analysts are predicting a slowdown in a market that may have already passed its peak of irrational growth, in 2004. Even as prices have increased exponentially over the last three years, with buyers trying to get in on the ground floor of premier properties — the Paddington, the Muse, the Giant City — so, too, have reports of dwindling consumer confidence and a looming credit crisis that could potentially wipe out the value of Uptowns and Downtowns alike.
Some people are concerned that a combination of volatile interest rates and the weakened dollar will ultimately cripple the market.
Status handbags, you see, are a lot like housing. After the rise of the $1,000 purse, fashion’s equivalent of the $1 million studio, there inevitably comes talk of a backlash. Are we now living in a handbag bubble?
“The new condo market today is comparable to the It bag,” said Stephanie Phair, the vice president for merchandising for Portero, an online auction house that specializes in the resale of luxury goods. “Every bag has a name. At least in New York, you see the same thing with all those condo buildings going up with valets, pools, dog parks and fancy names. At some point, people are going to decide that, in fact, what they’d like is to go back to the tried and tested, the classic prewar or the apartment on lower Fifth Avenue.”
“The appeal of the It bag,” Mr. Phair said, “has started to wane.”
Yet this is a moment when every bag seems to have, in addition to a price tag that could be confused with a ZIP code, a name that conjures up images of a wealthy enclave or a cast member of “Gossip Girl.” Heloise, Mathilde and Beata are bags by Chloé; Mariah, Camila and Elsa come from Marc Jacobs; the Uptown, the Downtown and the Muse are designs from Yves Saint Laurent, not buildings by André Balazs.
An entire genre of slouchy handbags, described as “hobos,” may even strike some readers as unintentionally funny, if not slightly offensive, with their earnest descriptions and indiscreet prices — the Dolce & Gabbana Miss Perfect hobo, $795; the Celine Bittersweet hobo, $1,700; the Prada nappa gauffre Antic hobo, $1,750 (a crazy gopher hobo?) — for bags meant to look as if they once belonged to tramps.
“Designers are just testing the laws of economics by pricing handbags higher and higher until people stop buying them,” said Lauren Goodman, the fashion director of Domino magazine. “They are so expensive, and drive you to buy a new one every season, which is kind of a horrifying thought.”
Ms. Goodman is aware of the hot bags of the moment: the Prada leather styles that repeat the ombré patterns of the fall collection; the Marc Jacobs oversize clutch, carried by several editors during the spring collections; the YSL Downtown bag, which is shaped like a Chinese takeout container with a handle. “Some people still carry the Muse,” she said of another YSL style. “They think the Muse is hot, because they’re kind of behind.”
But how does one afford to stay ahead?
At the rate that designers are introducing new styles, that no longer seems possible, which has led to a shift in perceptions about status bags.
“That whole phenomenon has changed,” said Julie Gilhart, the fashion director of Barneys New York. “Our customers seem to be looking for something more interesting. They don’t want to spend money on something everyone else has.”
They don’t want a one-season bag.
At the least, there is anecdotal evidence that the fastest-growing segment of the fashion industry, also considered its most lucrative because of its high profit margins, may not be immune to market exhaustion.
Coach, the leading American handbag company, reported last month that its profit growth may slow this holiday season, setting off jitters among investors who view the brand as the entry-level threshold for luxury goods and an indicator for the broader health of the market. One could not avoid the sense of dread reflected in a Women’s Wear Daily headline this week: “A Chilly Wind Blows: Retailers Are on Edge About Holiday Season.”
Handbag sales in the $7 billion United States market are expected to increase by 15 percent this year, according to the stock research firm Telsey Advisory Group. This is considered a disappointment, because the growth is about half as strong as the category’s 28 percent gain in 2004.
“That $5,000 Marc Jacobs bag is so yesterday’s news,” said Elizabeth Kiester, the chief creative director of LeSportsac, which is developing a line of bags with Stella McCartney that will sell for under $350, beginning in February. “The luxury market is so over the top now that it is demented. I call them limo bags. I don’t have a limo.”
It is probably a stretch to equate the slowing growth of handbag sales to It bag fatigue, but the statistics cited in Dana Thomas’s book, “Deluxe: How Luxury Lost Its Luster,” indicate that the American population is currently over-accessorized. Ms. Thomas cites a survey that showed by 2004, the average American woman was buying more than four handbags a year.
Ms. Phair, of Portero, said there is not a strong resale market for fashion bags of the moment. “It’s not that we wouldn’t touch a Vuitton Murakami, but now it would be purchased by someone with a collector’s perspective, who loves Louis Vuitton and wants to own pieces from every season,” she said.
In some circles, status bags have already become a punch line. A label called Slow and Steady Wins the Race recently produced a series of $100 handbags that recreated the shapes of iconic designs using inexpensive canvas — “a visual hyperbolic expression about contemporary fashion’s attention and obsession with designer handbags,” says its Web site.
The latest versions are hybrids: the Hermesbirkin-Dior (a saddlebag with Birkin-style handles), the Balenciaga-Chanel (where hardware meets quilting) and the Chanel-Asfour-Gucci (a circular quilted bag with a red-and-green stripe).
One is tempted, then, to declare an end to the It bag, but, then again, there were a lot of bags at the spring collections that seem destined for stardom: the Richard Prince bags at Vuitton, the Duffy at Marc Jacobs, the cute wavy-striped bags at Prada. Ken Downing, the fashion director at Neiman Marcus, is amused that there is even a question of a handbag bubble.
“We certainly believe our customer is a fashion enthusiast, and our customers love handbags,” he said.
At Neiman, the average bag sells for about $1,200, but Mr. Downing said there is no price resistance for a pièce de résistance. A special edition of 25 Chanel bags, made in crocodile for the retailer’s 100th anniversary last month, sold out in a snap. The price of each bag was $25,000.
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