I just got home from Ryan's funeral. It was sad and funny and beautiful. He had so many friends, such a big family, so many people who loved him. It was an incredible celebration of his life. We cried a lot, and laughed a lot. His folks seem to be doing okay, as well as can be expected. They are exceptionally strong people who have been through a lot on this journey with their son. They have to heal now and fortunately, they have a large network of friends and family to help them.

One particular note about the funeral, on the way from the church to the cemetary, we passed a large group of kids from his elementary school who were standing by the side of the road (wearing their Leafs sweaters and waiting "go leafs go" flags). Waving good-bye to Ryan one last time. It was so touching and sweet, the kind of thing that you can only find in a close-knit, small community like Gananoque.

Of course, events like this are draining. I've been yawning almost constantly since I got home. I find that I start thinking about things that ordinarily, I don't...like, if I died tomorrow, who'd come to my funeral? What kind of a service would I want? I know that I don't want to be embalmed and buried, I plan to be cremated (it's less expensive and more practical I think). I also know that I don't want anything remotely religious. The funeral this morning was a Catholic one. I grew up in the Catholic church but don't support or practice it anymore.

I do know that one of things I have to add to my "to do" list for the new year is to get our wills sorted out. We don't have them done up but we should. Also, I want to make a living will for myself. Neither is as fun as the other things on my list but they're probably the most important items that I'll have to sort out in January.