Watch out 2018

Happy New Year to you.

Happy New Year from Gracie and me

Did you enjoy the holidays? Was 2017 a good year for you?  Due to the deep freeze we've been in this week, I spent a good chunk of the holidays at home and that gave me time to reflect upon the year.  I had some really awesome things happen during 2017 and some completely devastating things happen too.

Losing Sam was definitely the toughest thing I had to deal with.  The full impact of it still hasn't hit me yet I don't think.  I've been a bit of a crying machine the entire time I've been off for the holidays the past week and a bit and I know it's because I miss him so much.  A lot of stuff I thought I'd dealt with around Mark's death came back in full force that week I was saying goodbye to my Sammy.  I love that quote that is often attributed to Queen Elizabeth about how grief is the price we pay for love.  It's true.

The good things in 2017 were plenty.  Lots of good music, live and recorded came into my life this year.  I made some wonderful new friends and enjoyed spending a lot of time with them.  I also saw a lot more of my old friends.  I intentionally sought folks out and was so happy I did.  I reconnected with some amazing people.  I am so lucky to have so many wonderful, smart, funny people in my life.  The year had a lot of laughter in it. 

I worked pretty hard this year too, both at my job and at things in my personal life.  I feel like, despite my bereavement, I'm staring 2018 from a position of strength.  I'm not a person who is big on resolutions but I have made some plans which I've put into motion and coincidentally that is happening at the beginning of the year. 

Things feel like they are off to a good start.  Fingers crossed, they'll keep on going that way.  xo

a man of great promise

Last week, I'm not sure why, I started listening to the Style Council again.  I mean, I've never stopped listening to them but I revisited "Our Favourite Shop" again, for the first time in a long time, the entire album, on repeat.  One song in particular stuck in my head and I went back and listened to it again yesterday morning while I had my coffee, "A Man of Great Promise."  I know that Paul Weller wrote it about a friend of his who had died from a heroin overdose and it's deceivingly upbeat, for such sad subject matter.

This afternoon we learned that a friend of ours, Tom, had died suddenly last night.  Apparently, he had a massive heart attack and died quickly.  Heart disease was in the family and the same thing had happened to his dad.  I think that perhaps Tom always felt that he would meet a similar fate so he never really took care of himself.  He probably smoked too much and he definitely drank too much.  He was a really good guy at his core but his demons got in the way of a lot of his relationships over the past couple of years.

Our Sammy was one being who never got upset with Tom.  Sam is a tough cookie, he doesn't like very many people and those he does like, he needs a lot of time to warm up to.  Very rarely, he'll meet someone and instantly connect with them, I've only seen it happen with a handful of people.  Tom was one of those rare people.  Sam loved Tom, he'd follow him around the house or sit on his feet when Tom would visit.  I think that says a lot about the true character of Tom, when a difficult dog like Sam loves you.

I'm still feeling numb and shocked by the thought that I'll never see Tom again.  I know it's worse for Mark because he would bump into Tom through their work a few times a week.  We'll both miss Tom, a lot.  Like Paul Weller's friend, Tom was a man of great promise.

merry market

merry market
Originally uploaded by Julep67

Last night, Mark had an eye appointment and I went along because he was getting drops and needed me to drive him home. In the end, his appointment took so long that he was okay to drive by the time he'd finished but I waited, all the same.

Not wanting to sit in the waiting room, I decided to sit in the van with the windows down and enjoy the first really summery feeling day we've had so far this year. The doctor's office is in a strip mall / plaza. Across the street from the plaza are four big apartment buildings. Due to the time of the day, there were a lot of folks heading on foot, walking toward the buildings (coming from the direction where I know the bus stop is).

I spent some of my time reading the news on my phone, some of it taking photos and some of it just watching the parade of people. One woman I saw reminded me a old school chum, someone I was very close to but lost contact with after she dove, head first, into some really seriously bad shit. the friend had moved to a pretty remote part of the country with her parents after high school. While she was up there, she developed a pretty serious drug habit. I wasn't entirely surprised that this happens because both of her parents were drunks. When she got back to town, we saw each other a few times and I tried and tried to see her (and her dad was calling me all of the time, wanting me to see her too, I guess he thought I'd be a good influence or something). Eventually, I got tired of trying and she just disappeared. About 15 years ago I ran into her brother and he said she was "okay" but I didn't press him for details.

So this all happened about 20 years ago. The woman I saw didn't remind me of what the friend looked like 20 years ago, rather, she looked like what I thought this friend would look like now. I'm pretty sure it wasn't her but if it was, it means that she's doing okay. Thinking that she could have the potential to be okay wasn't something that had occurred to me until yesterday. On some level, that actually makes me feel good.

got carrots?

got carrots?
Originally uploaded by Julep67

Today is some kind of holiday for the school kiddos 'round here. I think it's a professional development day for the teachers so most of the folks I work with, who have school aged children are off today. lucky them, it's been another snowy day in paradise.

There are only 2 of us in our office today and earlier today, we were wondering why were here. It's almost impossible to get anyone on the phone today AND, to add insult to injury, our laneway has not seen a shovel in a couple of days. The snow was above my boots (I wore my low boots today because it wasn't supposed to be so snowy) when I got here at 7:30 a.m. Since then, we've had a few more inches of snow and the path to our door has about 7 inches of snow on it. Charming huh?

At one point this morning, we literally could not see across the street, I thought that our windows had fogged over. Of course, now the sun is shining again but still, we feel like we should be at home!

Been hearing good news for friends at York and in Ottawa this morning. Congratulations to all y'all for surviving these terrible strikes. Hopefully the students at York won't be losing their year. What a massive mess that turned into. The OC Transpo thing has been pretty horrible too. At least in our town, it's small enough (and the transit is shitty enough) that if they were to strike, it wouldn't be as crippling as it was for Ottawa. Hopefully, the buses will be back on the roads soon and things will get back to normal.

One last note before I get back to work, for those of you who may find yourself in K-town, and at a loose end on Valentine's Day, there is an awesome fund raising event taking place for our friends Kirsty & Scott Milne and their awesome boys (Tanner, Rhys & Kobe). Scott was in a hockey accident on Halloween and suffered a spinal cord injury. He's making remarkable progress in his recovery and truly is a super hero to all of us. If want to get your dance on, or bid on some fabulous auction items, join in the fun!

guarding the barbecue

guarding the barbecue
Originally uploaded by Julep67

I can't believe that I didn't post all weekend. Too much fun is what I'll blame it on I guess!!

I started off the weekend spending a couple of hours with a group of women who I absolultely love. We laughed so hard that I thought I'd pee myself a couple of times!! It was crazy amounts of fun and I hope that we will get together and do it more often.

The rest of the weekend was spent with Mark and Sam. We had a lazy, fun, laugh-filled weekend. As I'd hoped, there were naps and generally being very relaxed amongst doing a couple of errands (in the rain) and getting chores done early on Saturday.

This morning I did feel energized and ready to face the week which is how we all should feel (but seldom do) after the weekend.

christmas tree

christmas tree
Originally uploaded by Julep67

merry merry everyone!

I hope that your christmas day or, for those of you who don't celebrate a holiday today, tuesday, is going well so far.

Things are pretty chilled around our house today. We slept in a little bit which was good. Yesterday, about mid-morning, I developed some flu-like symptoms which knocked me on my ass for most of the day. Mark went out and did our cookie tray deliveries all alone while I stayed home and felt crummy.

Today is marginally better than yesterday although a lingering headache and dull muscle ache (mostly in my back and shoulders) remains. At the moment, we've got all of our parcels assembled and lined up by the door, ready to go into the van when we are ready to leave the house.

We're still schlepping around in our jammies at the moment though so I don't expect we'll be going anywhere for a couple of hours. Later today, we'll be seeing my family and we'll make a quick stop en route, to drop some gifts off to my godson and his family.

I'm sure we'll have a lot of fun once we get where we are going. On Christmas Day I'm always glad that we don't have far to travel because really, no matter what the weather, we could always make the trip.

To you and yours, all the very best for the holiday seasons, whichever way you celebrate, or don't, no pressure!

glass head

glass head
Originally uploaded by Julep67

My head was fuzzy all day today. No matter what I did, I couldn't seem to get it together.

Honestly, I think I'm overtired. I worked a lot of extra hours last week and, in the middle of it all, I wasn't sleeping. Even the last couple of nights I've not been sleeping solidly. I hope this passes soon because I've got a lot on my plate the next couple of weeks. Hell, the next couple of months really but the next two weeks are particularly busy.

During the past week, I've reconnected with 3 people who I'd lost touch with. The three of them couldn't be more different and I met them all in different times during my life, through very different circumstances.

The internet is a good place for assholes to hide and do stupid stuff sometimes. At other times, it's a nice place to rediscover lost friends and be remind of happy and sad memories. Lately, for me anyway, the good stuff is outnumbering the bullshit.

to know them is to love them

Ashley's Bridal Shower
Originally uploaded by Julep67

Isn't this a nice picture?

On the left is the lovely Sue, my old roommate (she's not old, we just lived together a long time ago - in the early 90's) and on the right is the beautiful Ashley. A bride-to-be.

I met Ashley about 20 years ago this month. I was working with her mum and dad and she just about came up to knee and she would strut around singing Aerosmith's "Ragdoll" with her hands on her tiny hips.

I went to a bridal shower for little Ashley this afternoon. I find it odd that all of these kids keep getting older but we never age. Funny how that is huh?

on visiting

Fairfield Park Lights
Originally uploaded by Julep67.

today I went a-visiting

last week, lots of visiting was planned but the plans were shelved when Mark got sick

it's nice to see people and to visit and get all caught up on stuff and drink lots of tea

it makes me sad though, that it so hard to find time to do all of this visiting during the rest of the year

I want to visit more in 2007.