Finally Friday - Pretty Good Guy

Finally, it's Friday. It's also Mark's birthday. He would have been 71 today. This year would have been a good one for him. Unlike many years when he was a kid, it's not falling on Passover, so he'd get to celebrate with a dessert he liked instead of a matzo birthday cake (he didn't care much for it).

Marking the day without him always feels sad and weird. By the time it gets to be the 8th time you do it, it should be easier, but it isn't. There will forever be a Mark-shaped hole in our lives. I miss him each day, and I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. Not a day goes by that I don't think about him, share a story about our life, or tell one of his favourite jokes. 

The way I'm feeling right now (which is a bit mushy and fragile),  if I say much more, I'll be crying too much to see the screen. That would be bad.

I'm sharing a song he loved and identified with in honour of his birthday. It's "Pretty Good Guy" by Fred Eaglesmith. I know that I shared a Fred song recently, but this one is special so I hope you'll indulge me. Mark loved this one. Normally, I just share a bit of a lyric from the song of the day, but I'm leaving the whole song here for you to read. If you substitute "fix your car" for "fix your computer" or "fix you a mind-blowing meal," you'll see that this really describes Mark.

Today, if you're inclined to do something in his memory, I'd suggest you have a nice breakfast (a good version of bacon, eggs, toast and coffee was always his favourite meal) and listen to some Fred.

Take care, kids, and hug the folks you love, frequently and often xo

There's a couple old people

That live across the road

So I keep the volume down

On my radio

And all the neighbours say

When I go by

He's a pretty good guy

Hey, I'm registered

In CPR

And if you asked me to

I could fix your car

It's just the way I am

I got a pretty good life

I'm a pretty good guy

Just one good man

All the good ones are gone

Hey, play it again

I like that song

There's a pretty good guy

Coming down the street

And you'd be surprised

He looks a lot like me

Since you've been gone

I've realized

That you were wrong

I'm a pretty good guy

Yeah, you were wrong

I'm a pretty good guy

Can Con Thursday - Alcohol and Pills

 

What feels like a lifetime ago now, we had a restaurant. It was only open for a year, but it was a good year. Opening a restaurant with your own money is a challenging thing to do, but I was always glad that we tried it. 

There are certain records that I will forever associate with our restaurant (Ida's Kitchen). Mornings would always start with Pink Floyd's "Wish You Were Here" (there was something haunting about hearing the record's opening in a dark basement). Eventually, as the day moved along, we'd get to Fred Eaglesmith's "Lipstick, Lies and Gasoline" album. Whenever I listen to it, I think about Ida's; I suspect I always will.

Today, for Can Con Thursday, I'm sharing "Alcohol and Pills" from that 1997 record. Fred makes the point that, no matter what your life looks like to folks on the outside, you never know what's going on inside of a person. Some of us struggle with addiction, and some love those who struggle with it. I don't know anyone who hasn't been touched in some way by it. You can hear the compassion in Fred's voice as he sings so I imagine his life has been touched by it too. It's a moving song, and I hope you give it a listen.

Sometimes, somebody just doesn't wake up one day

Sometimes, it's a heart attack, sometimes they just don't say

But they pulled poor old Hank Williams out of a Cadillac Coupe de Ville

He ended up on alcohol and pills

Cancon Thursday - Time To Get A Gun

I feel a bit bad about neglecting this site for the past couple of weeks.

Truthfully, I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed at the moment. I know that a lot of you are feeling that way too. It's okay that we're all struggling, it's a strange time to be alive and I think it would be pretty fucking weird if we weren't.

I hope to get back to doing this regularly but that may not happen for a while. Instead, I'll pop in once in a while and share a song, sometimes on the theme of the day, but not necessarily. Writing here, even little posts like this one, sharing my feelings, makes me feel better. Things that make us feel better are important right now.

So, for Cancon Thursday, I'm sharing a song by one of my favourite Canadian singer-songwriters. It's an older song of his, from the 1997 album "Lipstick, Lies and Gasoline." It's a completely beautiful album and I invite you to listen to "Time To Get A Gun."

Hope you're all holding up, stay well folks xo

Last week a government man was there

When I walked out of my back door

He said "I'm sorry to bother you son"

It don't matter anymore

'Cause even while we're talking

Right here where we stand

They're making plans for a four-lane highway

And a big ole overpass

Because It's Tuesday - Week of August 7

So yesterday would have been my 9th wedding anniversary which means it was 19 years ago yesterday that I met Mark. We got hitched up in our back yard, 10 years after we met (I wore a dress but changed into the pictured t-shirt after the ceremony, he did get married in the "groom" shirt - we both wore flip flops - it was a casual affair).


Unlike the past couple of years, I wasn't totally crippled by grief yesterday.  On years one and two after his death, I spent the biggest chunk of the summer just dreading August.  That hasn't happened this year.  I did have a little sad moment in the afternoon, thinking about our wedding and what a crazy, fun day we had, what a great party it was.  The dark cloud passed though, and I'm glad that I seem to be at a place now where I can get through those milestone days and not be a complete wreck.  Being able to remember the good without getting mired down in the bad feels weird but good.  That's progress friends. 

A couple of weeks after I met Mark, I went to visit him in Toronto.  He took me to the Fred Eaglesmith picnic that weekend.  I had a fantastic time, we hung out with his wonderful old friends Kim and Karen Deschamps.  It was a perfect summer day... we saw Fred and Oh Susannah and Washboard Hank's kid show...  Fred was just one of the many artists we shared an admiration for when we met.  We often had his albums (taped onto cassette for the stereo in his ancient Toyota Tercel he affectionately called Baby). Wilder than Her was a song that always resonated with us because, really, he was wilder than I was at the time. He was 15 years older than me and had lived a bit of a crazy life in a big city.  I was a small town girl and at that point, the craziest thing I'd probably done was hook up with him.

Anyway, as it's Tuesday, I'm sharing a cover and it's a Fred song.  I know that Dar Williams did a lot better than Fred ever did with this song and while I think it's a very nice version (and many folks prefer it), I actually love Fred's version.  So, in honour of my anniversary, I'm sharing a lovely cover of "Wilder Than Her," enjoy xo

happy love day

I've written on these here pages before how we don't really celebrate the big "V-Day" in our house cuz. I joke that it's because "every day is valentine's day in our house" but that's probably right. I don't think you need to have a special holiday to inspire you to show affection to the folks you care about. It just should be an everyday thing. Also, it seems like this whole holiday is a set up to make single folks feel bad.

Having said that, I love this song. Mark and I listened to this a lot during the summer we met. Our second "date" was a trip to a Fred Picnic and we spent a lot of hours in the car that summer, listening to Fred. This song in particular speaks to me and I love Fred's stories about Dar Williams' cover it. This little video is pretty cool. The fellow who made it did a really nice job on it I think.

So, yeah, happy February 14th everyone.