Update on the Sad Anniversary

I realized that I should have elaborated on the "sad anniversary" I mentioned in my post about Etta's Tune.

3 years ago today, Mark had his regular 6 month check up at the Cancer Clinic.  He felt amazing that day, better than he had in months, scored all zeroes on his Edmonton Scale, was optimistic. 

At that appointment, we found out that he had 3 to 5 years to live.  As you all know, he was dead 8 1/2 weeks later.  A shock to us but ultimately, a better way to go than to have a horrible drawn out "cancer death."  Losing him the way I did taught me to embrace and appreciate the folks I love, the ones who are most important to me, tell them that I love them, hug them when I can.  Life is short and unpredictable.

To be kind and loving to each other costs nothing but means so much. 

Stay kind xo

Non-binding Resolutions

Happy New Year!

Is your 2015 off to a good start?  Our 2015 is starting out much better than our 2014 did.  Getting a call on December 30, 2013 telling us that Mark's colon cancer had metastasized to his liver was not the best news in the world.  We're both still a little grumpy and phlemy from our colds but we can't complain.  2014 sucked in a big way in our house and I'm not sad to see it go.


Over the past few days, I've had some time to reflect upon my goals for 2015.  I don't like thinking about resolutions because they are very rarely ever kept, goals though, I can work on.

My short (and subject to change) list of goals for 2015:

1. Stay kind.  I started working on this a while ago and it's not easy.  I have made an effort to be less snarky online, in particular on twitter.  As a result, I'm not tweeting as much as I used to but I think that's okay.  Another thing I've been doing in "real life" is trying to cut some slack to the assholes I run into every day.  I have a better understanding, after Mark's illness/surgeries, of how you never, ever, know what kind of crap folks are walking around with.  We could all do more of this.
2. Connect.  Over the past year, between surgery and chemo, we really cut ourselves off from people and activities we enjoy.  Our focus had to be on Mark healing and getting through his treatments.  It kept us at home, cut off a bit from folks.  Phone calls and emails are okay but I want to see the beautiful faces of my friends and family, hang out a bit and laugh a lot.
3. Move.  I want to get outside and move my body more.  Be more active.  Walking around the hallways of hospitals and clinics is not the same as long walks outside and visits to the park with the dogs. 

As I look over these goals, I realize that they are a direct reaction to what happened to us over the past couple of years.  The time has flown by and we've gotten through it somehow.  Physically, Mark's better but I think that emotionally, we need to recharge our batteries.  Now is as good a time as any to do this.

Do you have any goals/resolutions for 2015?  I'd love to hear about them if you do.

attempting kindness

peekaboo!
Originally uploaded by Julep67

I’ve been exerting a lot of effort lately to be kinder in general and less snarky in particular. I wouldn’t have thought that being generally nicer would have been all that difficult. I realized recently that a lot of what I tweet, or sometimes write here, isn’t very nice. It’s sometimes downright mean and frequently snarky. It’s so easy to react quickly with a negative tweet or snide comment on facebook. Counting to 10 and cooling down a bit before I hit “send” it tough but I am feeling good about it.

A couple of times, very recently, I’ve had many snarky and mean-ish things to say about a couple of local contractors we are working with (one for our home and another is a vendor we use at our income property). I’ve been less than impressed with the customer service I’ve received from both. In one case, the contractor has actually endangered our dogs not once, but twice. Rather than name and shame, for the moment, I’m going to take a page out of the “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all” book. Honestly, more often than not in the past, I was more inclined to take a page out of “Steel Magnolia” and live by, “If you can’t say anything nice, come sit by me” instead. I’ll say nothing at all for now, until the issues are dealt with and I can share a complete story, not just a bitter bit in the middle.

Now, rather than rant and rave about how frustrated I am, I thought I share something good instead. We are presently selling our rental property. It’s a great little house in a terrific neighbourhood and we’re had a terrific city councillor, Sandy Berg. Today, I contacted her about an issue with our driveway (the street has been ripped up a couple of times over the last year to allow for water and sewer works). She got back to me almost immediately about the issue and has put in a request with the appropriate folks to get in touch with me about resolving it. How nice was that? Kudos to you Sandy Berg. I think you’re doing a terrific job representing Kingscourt-Strathcona and would like to say thank you for everything you do District 8 in the City of Kingston.